Confused( a ittle long story)

[Rainbowlitter]

Heya.
A little help?
I always knew I was Bisexual. I am 26 today, I had relationships with both guys and girls, but mostly with guys.
A bit of back story: I grew up with my dad abandoning me, and later on my step dad would sexually abuse me until I was 23.
I had several boyfriends who weren't treating me espesially nice.
I grew up as a kid on a mental hospital, cuz I got diagnosed with skitzophrenia when I was 14.
When I was 21, I met this girl, she was perfect to every inch, so beautiful, great personality, big heart, and me and my bi gf who was exploring our sexuality together, offered her to have a threesome with us, as a birthday gift cuz she always wanted to try to be with a girl.
But that night I fell in love with her, couldn't stop thinking about her.
1½ year ago, I confessed this to her (fainally) she said she felt the same all this time, we wen't out on a date, I set up a real romantic evening. It was a perfect night.
I took her home, best night of my life.
But then it just ran out in the sand, we rarely spoke, we didn't even break up, she just stopped answering me.
We're still friends today, I had a few relationships within all these years, but I always was in love with her, never stopped loving her.
And loving her is like loving my cat, I wan't to protect her, I wan't her to be happy, her needs before mine... with guys its the other way around, and I dont trust em to protect me, I trust they will hurt me more.
So now I start being confused, cause I find my self, starting tuo think if Im gay?
or am just so scared with guys, that I become gay? Or am I still Bi sexual?
Any advise anyone?

[missourigaymer]

Kimie, no need to worry. I wouldn't try to label yourself, labels just confine, not release. You love this girl, that much is obvious. Does it matter if your bi or gay? Love is love, and while your past experiences may cause you to be wary of guys, it doesn't neccessarily force you to be gay. As for the girl, you put her needs first, but what about your needs? It's admirable that you would care for her first, but you need the same in kind. I would simply suggest that you take some time to get to know yourself, and what you want out of life and a relationship. My best wishes to you Kimie, you'll figure this out and be all the better for it. Also, perhaps talking to your therapist about this situation may help to give you some more insight.

[Sylph]

Hai gurl, welcome

Now rest on mama's titties and let him tell you something :hugs-and-kisses-smi

Men are shitheads... oh wait wrong one x.x

....

Gurl listen up, to state first, sexuality is yours to define. Call yourself whatever you feel applies best to you and your situation. Don't worry about conventional labels, even though we have them here (Single Gay Male <<), they're just societal tools, which aren't always bad, but you don't have to abide by them for everything.

Secondly gurl, I'm definitely not a person who has been through sexual abuse, so me saying this might seem easy and what not for me to say, but I would say or rather wish for you to not view all men as potential abusers or bad people. There really are some half way decent penis wielders out there

Cause while I myself have had(and kinda still do) trust issues with men, they aren't all bad it seems. Sure some a douche bags, that need a swift kick to the nuts gurl, but those ones are the lessons and the good ones are the rewards.

Not to say abuse and whatnot are lessons people should learn, but when they do happen, it would be best to learn from them.

As for your lady, I'm not sure what to say on that exactly Sis. Does she still view you romantically or are you two just gurls? Eitherway, I suppose a friendship would be better than not having her at all? Try to talk to every inch of her perfect self ^.^

At any rate, I want you to know, that you seem like a cool ass gurl, and shouldn't let people try to define you or your sexuality. You define it how you want.

Don't make mama have to beat up those boys for you