My boyfriend came out and...

[southbiochem]

Congrats to him (and you by extension, of course) on having that breakthrough...I bet it will be weird at first but his parents don't sound bad..

then again, ALL "dinner with the parents" scenarios are stressful and awkward..mile:

I bet they will come arround soon enough, Mr. Kumawool and come to love you for making him happy

[nfisher1226]

So far so good really. This is already better than you could hope for in most cases. The parents are trying to show support and acceptance even though they're still obviously trying to process it.

I think you should bear in mind that as awkward as it is for you, it will also be awkward for them too. Further, even though they aren't quite sure what to make of things yet, they are reaching out not just to their son but to you as well. If you should choose to meet them understand and give them some credit that they're trying, and also understand that they're likely to make some mistakes along the way. There will absolutely be some awkwardness and embarrassing or confusing moments.

What you have to ask yourself is this, is your boyfriend enough of a keeper to put yourself through this scenario? It really does sound to me like he is. I think you should meet the parents for a number of reasons. It will show them on one level that you aren't going behind their backs, and reassure them that you care about him and aren't out to hurt him or screw his life up. It also puts a real face on things for them and brings it all out of the hypothetical realm, which may help them to process the fact that their son is gay. In other words, not only is their son gay but you are the guy he's with. You actually exist in the physical world, and aren't going away any time soon. If they want to remain close to their son they'd do well to get used to that.

The questions they asked of him and the fact that they said he broke their hearts are things that show they still have a ways to go. Once you're there you should muster as much confidence as you can and stand your ground with them. Going toe to toe with dad in a conversation might be enough to win them over considering they obviously want to try to be supportive. Just think of the good you can do for your boyfriend if you and his parents can accept each other. It's definitely worth trying for his sake.

[Woollyhats]

Thank you for responses that are both encouraging and honest.

In response to nfisher1226, I actually have met his mother, and she likes me as a person (obviously not that I'm dating her son), saying in her own words that I'm one of the most polite and determined people she has met through her son, so I think that's a good thing. I understand what you're saying too though--- I have to go and meet both of his parents as the "significant other", and I'm going to have to wear a mask of self confidence and talk and be courteous with them.

If I had a choice, I would never be willing to put myself through that, but it's important that I do, because I do want to do what's right for my boyfriend, and if that means doing things that are difficult and scary, I'm going to do them.

We'll see how it goes... I personally just think there the next time I meet them there will be a lot of tension, masked with politeness and small talk that isn't really small talk... Nothing life threatening, but scary all of the same.

Still though, the response he's gotten is actually very inspiring, I'm actually very proud and impressed with his parents.

----

Thank you again --- I know I responded in depth to Nfisher, but every single one of your replies was valuable to me. It helps me to be brave knowing that I have the thoughts of all of you. .

[nfisher1226]

For what it's worth, you of the younger generations are a great inspiration to me, especially those of you who are able to be OK about sexuality at such a young age. I wasn't able to do that myself when I was younger, but wish I had.

I have a son who's 15 and is basically out. I'm proud of him, and I envy him in a lot of ways. I take a great deal of satisfaction from the knowledge that he won't be putting himself through the years of indecision and torment that I did to get where I am today.

Anyway, kudos to you, your boyfriend, and his parents. All the best.