Office Crush...getting weird signals

[Woollyhats]

Why not just ask, "Are you gay" if it comes up? If you're embarrassed, you can just be like, "I was wondering because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable" or whatever, but I actually don't think that is necessary --- just add that in if you see that the question upset him in any way. Then if you like him, and I'm thinking you do, you can bring that up --- directly and not creepily, as you aren't in grade 6.

Also, no offence, but even if you found out he was gay through your google search, you'd still have to have the conversation in person about his sexuality... unless you were planning on stalking him down a shadowy corridor, before proclaiming "I know your darkest secrets!" as you whip your briefcase open, revealing thousands upon thousands of extensively documented research notes concerning his online activity.

No but really, he's friendly and open. He should be easy to talk to about this. Just ask him.

[winterfell]

I can't straight up ask people if they're gay!! That is so awkward and rude to me. I need to find some indirect way of bringing it up.

But little update... I'm single now.

Still not sure about the guy at work being gay or not. We did have another conversation though. It was just me and him in the office and I asked if he was going to this work event. He said no because he'd rather watch football... He asked if I was going and bringing my boyfriend. I told him that we broke up a week ago and he starts asking the questions... "Did you break up with him or did he break up with you? Is this normal for you two? Do you guys always break up and get back together?" I said I broke it off and that we're definitely not getting back together.

Do straight guys even ask these questions to a gay guy?

I thought he was fishing for specific information...or maybe he was just being friendly and nosy. But either way, the important thing is that he knows I'm single now. So his move now! It's been a week though and he hasn't really acted any different. Maybe he's just giving me some time from my fresh breakup.

I can't stop thinking about this guy (obviously)!! It's getting to the point where I don't even know how to act around him. I get all sweaty, smirky, and nervous around him..my heart races whenever I hear his name..it's so pathetic. I think I just need a boost of confidence! Or I just need to get over him.

I have a date this weekend with someone else so I'm hoping I can also just sweep this IT guy under the rug and just move on already. My fixation is making me make mistakes at work since he's constantly on my mind. Ok now I basically don't know what I want anymore or what to do.

[MisterTinkles]

I have a friend who's husband is very friendly. He's like that, but its just because he is friendly and just wants to show that not all "straight" people are homophobic and uncaring. He's just a super nice guy.

Office romances - DONT DO IT! Too many bad things can result in those. Just dont even think about it. Dont care how hot, nice, friendly, rich the guy is...if you work together, DONT DO IT!!!

[winterfell]

I have a friend who's husband is very friendly. He's like that, but its just because he is friendly and just wants to show that not all "straight" people are homophobic and uncaring. He's just a super nice guy.

Office romances - DONT DO IT! Too many bad things can result in those. Just dont even think about it. Dont care how hot, nice, friendly, rich the guy is...if you work together, DONT DO IT!!!

good point! That could be this guy then. He wants to show that he's not a homphobe and just a super friendly nice guy who cares about everybody.

[Kenny221]

I think you should wait a little longer before you consider him as a dating option. I think you don't even know if he's gay yet, and if he wasn't...well things are going to get awkward around the office, and I'm sure that's the last thing you want.

[xzeik]

If I were in your place, I'd take the guy to lunch - off site, of course - and ask him point blank if he's gay or bi.

You have a good point here, though I wouldn't just come out with it and ask him if he's gay. He may take it the wrong way... Instead, I'd non-chalantly invite him out to lunch, as a friend, with no expectations. Then, he may open up to you once he feels more comfortable about the whole situation. You can't just force someone to out themselves if they're not ready to... just because you simply want to know if he likes or could ever like you.

[justbry87]

I asked if he had a girlfriend but he said no-- he was single. (ugh, I should've asked if he had a boyfriend too!)(

I've had a similar conversation before, when people usually ask, I tell
them no and I ask, "What about yourself..?" I don't indicate or assume
if they either have a gf/bf. So the ball would be on their court and would
probably give you a bit more straight forward reply.

I don't and haven't really worked in an office, but I assume the same
problems would arise in any work situation where dating a co-worker is
concerned.

Like someone already said if you really want to know you just have to
ask him. Eat together during lunch or something. The worse that can happen
is you end up with a new friend.

good luck :]

[winterfell]

I've had a similar conversation before, when people usually aime!, I tell
them no and I ask, "What about yourself..?" I don't indicate or assume
if they either have a gf/bf. So the ball would be on their court and would
probably give you a bit more straight forward reply.

I don't and haven't really worked in an office, but I assume the same
problems would arise in any work situation where dating a co-worker is
concerned.

Like someone already said if you really want to know you just have to
ask him. Eat together during lunch or something. The worse that can happen
is you end up with a new friend.

good luck :]

"What about yourself?" Ahhhh that would've been perfect! I'll have to use that next time! Thanks!