Meeting other guys, dating, and the club scene.

[Axanderb]

So i'm currently in a situation where i'm trying to find ways of meeting new people for friends and possibly more at some point but i'm finding it quite difficult. I absolutely do NOT know where to go.

The club scene is always there but i'm not looking for what the guys that frequent the club are looking for. I'm trying to find substantial friends and possibly a partner...not a fling. I Do enjoy the club for what it can give me, Some much needed therapy in the form of dancing but beyond that i usually feel pretty ignored. Probably a good thing lol.

I'm Really curious as to where others meet people either for friendships or dating outside of the club. Michigan's Gay scene is kind of dismal...especially near the Detroit area.

Between being at work all the time and having a limited pool of busy friends I find myself sitting at home a lot unless one of them are available...and it's quite simply driving me crazy.

[southbiochem]

I wish I could help you but I'm in the same situation, and work takesup much of my time..

do you go to college? work? what kind of other activities you do where you can meet people?

College is always a good place to look for..

I agree, clubs are ugh..not for what you want..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I met my last partner an an AA meeting (Alcoholics Anonymous). First partner was at work.

Basically you need to network. Clubs are a good place to meet people to get into the 'in crowd' you know to have those people we call 'friends' but who are really acquaintances that have parties, do social stuff together and have other 'friends' who they will introduce you to.

Yes a lot of the guys at clubs/bars are looking for just hook-ups. However in the younger crowd there are more like you who are hopeful of finding 'the one' at a bar. mid to late 20's the ones are staunchly opposed to just hook-ups usually end up just not going to the clubs and bars to meet up potential mates, or they throw in the towel and turn to one-night-stands as a way to scratch an itch.

So don't discard the whole club/bar scene immediately. The younger guys - hmm about 21-25 - are going to be more hopeful. Most have to have a little time to abandon all hope in the clubs and bars. :biggrin:

Your problem is not unique, its an on going problem that has been partially answered with alternatives such as LGBT Centers. https://www.google.com/#q=lgbt+community...arden+city For LGBT centers for Garden City....

Hobbies may be a route. I used to do a hiking club where a decent chunk of the other club members where LGBT - while I never dated anyone from the club, they did increase my social circle of acquaintances in the local LGBT community thus increased my potential chances of finding a mate.

So if you have a hobby that has face to face meetings with other human beings, you can grow your circle of 'friends' who will introduce you to other people, and so on and so forth.

[MisterTinkles]

I met my last partner an an AA meeting (Alcoholics Anonymous). First partner was at work.

Basically you need to network. Clubs are a good place to meet people to get into the 'in crowd' you know to have those people we call 'friends' but who are really acquaintances that have parties, do social stuff together and have other 'friends' who they will introduce you to.

Yes a lot of the guys at clubs/bars are looking for just hook-ups. However in the younger crowd there are more like you who are hopeful of finding 'the one' at a bar. mid to late 20's the ones are staunchly opposed to just hook-ups usually end up just not going to the clubs and bars to meet up potential mates, or they throw in the towel and turn to one-night-stands as a way to scratch an itch.

So don't discard the whole club/bar scene immediately. The younger guys - hmm about 21-25 - are going to be more hopeful. Most have to have a little time to abandon all hope in the clubs and bars. :biggrin:

Your problem is not unique, its an on going problem that has been partially answered with alternatives such as LGBT Centers. https://www.google.com/#q=lgbt+community...arden+city For LGBT centers for Garden City....

Hobbies may be a route. I used to do a hiking club where a decent chunk of the other club members where LGBT - while I never dated anyone from the club, they did increase my social circle of acquaintances in the local LGBT community thus increased my potential chances of finding a mate.

So if you have a hobby that has face to face meetings with other human beings, you can grow your circle of 'friends' who will introduce you to other people, and so on and so forth.

What he said....

Hobbies and volunteering I would think would get you out in the world to different people. Join a group, a social club, a volunteer organization......there are thousands of different kinds.

[Garystampa]

Seems I just made a post about this the other day, but I'm not pushing it. I'm just not as into typing as talking... Anyway, you could try this gay talk line 775 329 5483. I've met guys from a lot of places and even met a few when I've traveled (and some locally).

I was heading to Chicago on a trip and met a guy on that line. We met up and hung around together, but didn't really hit it off as well as I was hoping. But still, at least I had someone to spend time with while in cold and snowy Chicago. Ugh!

I've also met some people here in L.A. but I tend to shy from that since I live in West Hollywood. I don't always ask people where they're from so I don't know how many guys are from your area, but there are a lot of guys calling in. Definitely lots from Chicago at least. (I know Garden City, MI is a long way from Chicago, but I'm just trying to point out guys call in from literally everywhere.)

A word of caution: I know it isn't advertised, but the last thing it needs is homophobes or other haters. So if you tell anyone about this number, be sure they're gay and don't post it in non-gay places. I've been calling for years and I know it's been around a lot longer than that and it doesn't have any douchebag callers.

It does NOT hit you up for money or refer you to anything asking for money! It's also not terribly "slick and polished" -- it's just a basic talk line.

[matty7]

when you find the answer then let me know too - but you do like the clubs and dancing so you are a confident guy - are you sure that there's no one in the club looking for a guy like you ? , you are dancing and looking - are the odds so much against a guy just like what your looking for there too ?

[Jordi]

believe it or not, I actually met my boyfriend on okcupid.com

First time I've ever joined a dating site, but for places with a dismal gay scene, it's worth a try. You have nothing to lose! ^_~

[Undreamt]

Try a bar, not a club, bars tend to be more relaxed and people can talk more.
I've had a lot of luck there although I haven't been looking so i guess that kinda changes things too.

[Axanderb]

I think the hardest part is being so preoccupied by Work and having no gay friends to network through romantically.

All my friends are female and i sometimes feel like my friendship is a novelty to them.

[Garystampa]

That is so true. So many girls hang with us just so they can be cool.