thnx kaje, that was actually quite heartwarming towards the end.......we swore loads of times of the past few months that no MATTER what happens we will ALWAYS be best friends! I said I will always talk 2 hima nd never just break contact. Even if things do finish....i will still love him and he me!
God im sitting here crying my eyes out as I thinka bout this and hurt by christina guilera plays int he background. Im so distraught
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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I do have my moments. It's OK, you'll figure it out eventually. I know that I won't be staying where I live for much longer.
One of my teachers told me I'd be done with high school my sophomore year, maybe I'll graduate and go off to college in Chicago. My mother's not so keen on the idea, but eh, whatever.
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Well i hope things wor4k out for you too kaje.
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Hi Rob.
I think I have said it before but will say it again. You are one smart, intelligent young man. I think the world is your oyster and you can do & have anything you want.
So what do you want?
Everyone has already said everything I thought of when I read your post.
The first thing I thought of was will moving solve any of your issues. Probably yes. A new fresh start can be amazing. I have done it a number of times with great success.
Marsh has said so many things I thought about. I dont know about counsel living but it might be similar to Section 8 housing here. Here you can carry it to another state. Good luck on that. It will be a major issue resolved to have housing. I know that you arent in school anymore and Uni isnt the most important thing in the world but it can make you a well rounded person. Are you considering getting a high school diploma then get into Uni?
I just hate it that your lover has to suffer so much in your town. It really isnt fair that being gay has such a bad stigma to it. It does seem that due to his work and past life he has made a decision to remain closeted when you are already so out to everyone. It looks like you have seen the writing on the wall and are ready for the move. I am sure that you can remain friends after you move and maybe if you have some success will be able to help you current partner come out in time.
Good luck and try not to let those homophobes get to you. You are better than them.
hugs,
frank
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Boytoy, hope you don't mind a newby wading in here, but I couldn't help but notice this post. You've been through more than anyone should have to and at a young age. You seem to have a wise head on your shoulders which indicates to me that you are strong enough to pull through this.
You've had a lot of good advice on here. All that I can add really is not to make a rush decision which will affect your whole future. You are probably away just now with your friend. Maybe you'll not read this till your home, but take this time to chill out and just enjoy the break. It will give you an insight into what life away from your home and family is like, also being away from your boyfriend is like.
Once you're back home, you can decide which direction you want your life to take. Maybe you'll feel a whole lot better for just having a break away from it all.
Hope you enjoy your break away with your friends.
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Not one to make it all about me, but I WOULD like to make the point that I can relate to your feelings in certain way, Boy_toy.
I'll be moving away to University shortly - over 300 miles away from home. For the whole year and a bit we've been together, my 16yr old boyfriend has vowed to come with me and we'd start a life together.
MY problem is, that as this concept draws closer, I'm not sure if it's what I want, for all manner of reasons, but I'm not sure I'm capable of NOT doing it.
In essence, my head is telling me to leave it, and my heart is saying to go for it.
Like I say, I found similarities in parts of your predicament.
Good luck.
Dan x
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Gay Wrote:Not one to make it all about me, but I WOULD like to make the point that I can relate to your feelings in certain way, Boy_toy.
I'll be moving away to University shortly - over 300 miles away from home. For the whole year and a bit we've been together, my 16yr old boyfriend has vowed to come with me and we'd start a life together.
MY problem is, that as this concept draws closer, I'm not sure if it's what I want, for all manner of reasons, but I'm not sure I'm capable of NOT doing it.
In essence, my head is telling me to leave it, and my heart is saying to go for it.
Like I say, I found similarities in parts of your predicament.
Good luck.
Dan x Aha, the plot is revealed a little more ...
Change is always tough, but one thing you can expect is that over the next few years your university experience WILL change you. If you don't change, there is no point to higher education. You'll experience a different world and your ideas about many things will change. Your tutors and your peers will challenge you in ways you never expected. If you have doubts about the wisdom of the b/f tagging along listen to them. If your love is seriously strong it will survive the distance and the diminished time you spend together (PA and I are separated by hundreds of miles for weeks at a time and I have never before felt so strong and secure with anyone). However, in grim reality it is more likely that his relative immaturity will find it difficult to change with you and you may come to resent not feeling free to participate in the fullness of university life. You'll be torn between what's on offer (and I'm not talking hot men here  - although one can't exclude the possibilities - merely a wide range of social and intellectual activities) and not wanting him to feel excluded, while being unable to include him in some of the new interests you will develop.
At 20 the world should be your oyster. At 16 he is still likely to be tugged by childish conservatism.
Mind you, I'm a fine one to preach having been married at nineteen to a girl I met when sixteen. It definitely influenced my subsequent experience of higher education ... and that's without even going into the rather more obvious incompatabilities!
You rarely get a second chance to make the same choice, so do it right.
Good luck.
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I'm afraid, marshlander, that I can't no longer claim to like you.
Don't you know that in times of crisis, you're supposed to tell people what they want to hear?  That wasn't it!
I dunno.... I think we both know what we're signing up for, and at the end of the day, the best way to learn any lesson is the hard way. So that's what I'm doing.
Scarily, nearly all of what you say makes sense, I just think the difference is that I'm trusting Daniel when he says he won't feel like that. So fingers crossed.
Tbanks guys.
Dan
x
P.S As you can see, I'm having a positive moment on this subject, so I'm gripping it tightly and hoping it doesn't desert me!
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Dan, what Marshlander said makes a lot of sense, and while I hope you will both be strong about this, I think your choice to go for it will make your life worthwhile. What I would advise however, would be to keep Daniel posted on what you are doing, if you don't want to sever ties with him, but keep the relationship going. True love, in my opinion is not about tying someone down, but on the contrary letting them exploit and explore what they have and blossom. True love is more a nurturing of the soul. It creates the right conditions for something to come to bloom and mature. I'm sure Daniel will only love you more if you are not thwarted or frustrated.
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Tearing me up inside!
