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Jehovah's Witness
#1
There was a knock on the door this morning.

I opened it to find a young man standing there who said:

"Hello sir,I'm a Jehovah's Witness ..."

I said "Come in and sit down."

I offered him coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"





He said,

"Buggered if I know, I've never got this far before."
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
I think the chief at work told me this one.
I didn't think it was funny. I always let them have their say and politely say no.
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#3
Cute joke,
but not so much when it occurs in real life.....


Don't bang on my door like a raging bill collector at 7 or 8 in the morning to spread your stupidity.


The contrast of the urgent door banging
to the your calm and collected, soft-spoken tone
once acknowledged is almost as outrageous as your silly cult.


If you're going to give me a rude awakening on a weekly basis,
make sure it's something well worth it,
like a getaway vacation, new car,
or a check from the Publisher's Clearing House.


By the way,
I don't bother to answer the door when they come around,
my mom takes care of them quite nicely!


Lets just say she doesn't have a mouth filter.
Laugh


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#4
Uhhhhh, I like Jehova's Witnesses!

But they wouldn't like what I have in mind for them!

Tres sexy!
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#5
Are those the guys dressed like penguins on bicycles????

Damn, them religious breeders know how to make some damn hot men!!!!

They used to come around to our house every sunday morning when I was in high school.
My momma would cuss them out and tell them to never come back again. They kept coming back.
Finally, she opened the door one sunday morning to them.....smiled and politely said that she was going to start chopping them up if they ever showed up on our street again, then closed the door.

We never saw them on our street again.
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#6
They don't bother me anymore since they saw me in the garage wearing a black hoody and serpent necklace with a fire bowl going and surrounded by black cats. Evil
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#7
Problem solver for guys:-

Answer door.

Oh, just let me get my husband, he's the one into threesums,:eek:

From experiance, Works a treat, :biggrin:
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#8
trialbyerror Wrote:Problem solver for guys:-

Answer door.

Oh, just let me get my husband, he's the one into threesums,:eek:

From experiance, Works a treat, :biggrin:


LOL! I love that! Biglaugh
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#9
My ex BF and I had a couple missionaries walk up while we were outside chatting with a neighbor. He told them he'd rather join a sex cult. Then some other neighbors got home and as they were walking into the house he commented on the girl's backside. Our first neighbor (remember him?) let it be known that the girl was 13. So I just had to follow it up with a "Yeah, finally..."

Not condoning child anything here, but it did the trick to get rid of the missionaries.
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#10
My best friend had a roommate who grew up a Jehovah's Witness and I heard some seriously scary shit from him about their church. Apparently he had been in a relationship with a girl when he was a late teenager (and had been having sex with her), and church members were spying on the both of them and reporting it to the elders or something. He was then exiled and all of his family members were no longer allowed to speak to him (and willingly did as they were told). So, yeah, he lost his entire family over it. That was just one among many things, but the stuff he told me really freaked me out. They strike me as a very secretive group; kind of like Mormons, they have no transparency. It's frightening.
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