11-16-2013, 03:09 PM
[COLOR="Blue"]The title has no relevance to what I have to say, but gurl such is me :3 .
Kay, so here's the quick. And for the record, this is just my specific situation, not the whole of Bermuda, so don't be so quick to cast judgement, afterall, no where is perfect.
As some of you may have noticed or not, either way you're gonna find out and it's just for a heads up; I've been absent/ not active the past few days on GS. Well here's why for those who'd like to know
Some people may remember or know, about my situation at home and me talking about it every so often, granted when I tend to talk about myself and my "problems" I'm not as loud and in your face as when I'm not talking about them lol, so of course it'd slip some people's notice, however saying that to say this;
My neighborhood isn't the best as I've said, I've grown up in worse, blah blah, but now I'm on my own and things aren't quite how I'd like them. I know y'all probably think this online persona I have is put on or magnified, I can see why, but I'm not shitting, so it's hard for me as being me, to feel uncomfortable and not say something about it, because the very reason or rather reasons of my uncomfortability prevent me from saying and doing anything about it, for my own fear and self preservation.
There are a bunch of guys who both live/hang out on the wall near my house, as my location is near a liquor store, tattoo parlour, and some other places, but these specific things bring them here, because what's more manly than a bunch of dicks, literal and figuratively, hanging together, and liquor and Tattoos? Sounds like a bad gay porn set-up >.>
I severely hate pity parties and self loathing and all that other bullshit and am not saying this for that reason, I do my own mediation within myself and have done so already, but am merely telling you what the problem is;
I can't go out past certain times, especially on certain days, Tuesday & the Weekend being the worst times, and anytime after 6pm on any day because they all come here after work to socialize, which I couldn't care less about, except they socialize in droves of like 30 and hang all over the parking lot and there has been a time when someone once before told me "Batty Bwoys dun hang rahn here" - Basically saying gays shouldn't be up this way.
I've never been approached or whatever, but I don't take the chance because I'm not dumb, were they to see me enough, they'd likely approach, just from observing how I carry myself and noticing my habits, Mama didn't raise no fool :hugs-and-kisses-smi
It's annoying because I have to go shopping early in the morning and do my errands and talk to who I have to talk to before like 2pm, just so I can get home in time to beat the first bunch of guys at 3-4. I only leave the house when they're out if a friend or family member comes to pick me up right outside and they usually (against my Profuse "You don't have to stay's") wait outside to watch me enter my house before they drive off.
My Uncle lately has become very aggressive, because at one point he himself used to heckle gays or whatever, but as he's gotten older and has come to term with me being gay, he has come to my aid and told me to tell him if any of the guys say anything to me, which I obviously won't do, because he has a family and children, and I'm not selfish. So this is also something I've had to take into consideration, because knowing how he is, he'd waste no time, driving the 5mins from his house to mine in order to protect me like or whatever and inevitably get hurt in the process or worse, so I have to be very careful with him on that matter.
Every day after work (April-October), I'd have to walk past them and through them and near them and could feel the tense atmosphere and just the general uncomfortable vibe, They'd nod their heads and say wagwaan and what not, but it's just out of general respect.
So after the night I was told Fags don't belong here, I told my mother about it, because she didn't really have a clue and at that point I was scared they'd try and get in and I needed to atleast let one person know, but I didn't want her to know, cause she's even worse then my uncle sometimes, she told me that I need to go live with her and my sister for awhile to see what we can do about my situation, and the way things are looking, it looks like I will be moving out by the end of the month, something the land lord knows already.
Something I really really didn't want to do, because I love being on my own and was doing pretty fine considering this was my first time having my own apartment, supporting myself entirely and the whole she-bang, but even I'm not bull-headed enough to not realize when it's my time to go.
So today (16/11/2013), I will be moving in with my Mother and Sister for two weeks to see where this whole clusterfuck will take me, so I won't be home, but they have WiFi too and I'm taking my laptop and electronics and shit, so I should be able to still get on here and talk to you bitches <3, but it probably won't be as frequent, cause now I have to sort out stuff I thought I already had sorted and no doubt will be out of the house alot >.>
And just cause I was enjoying my unemployment from the beach too:crying-and-sorry-li, which itself presented nearly equal problems for me, but that's another story and I'm supremely relieved that chapter in my life is over.
So yeah, That's it now you know the whole quick, which wasn't so quick and I love you gurls if you finished lol, and even if you didn't and just skipped to the bottom ;3 (You know who you are
)
Sorry to be missing out on stuff gurls, I think about you guys though, even though some of your fabulous faces I've yet to see :> . I'm sure I can catch up on being bitchy ^.^ so enjoy your reprieve until then lol.
I may even be back on tonight when I get settled in >.> Toodles Gurls[/COLOR]
Kay, so here's the quick. And for the record, this is just my specific situation, not the whole of Bermuda, so don't be so quick to cast judgement, afterall, no where is perfect.
As some of you may have noticed or not, either way you're gonna find out and it's just for a heads up; I've been absent/ not active the past few days on GS. Well here's why for those who'd like to know
Some people may remember or know, about my situation at home and me talking about it every so often, granted when I tend to talk about myself and my "problems" I'm not as loud and in your face as when I'm not talking about them lol, so of course it'd slip some people's notice, however saying that to say this;
My neighborhood isn't the best as I've said, I've grown up in worse, blah blah, but now I'm on my own and things aren't quite how I'd like them. I know y'all probably think this online persona I have is put on or magnified, I can see why, but I'm not shitting, so it's hard for me as being me, to feel uncomfortable and not say something about it, because the very reason or rather reasons of my uncomfortability prevent me from saying and doing anything about it, for my own fear and self preservation.
There are a bunch of guys who both live/hang out on the wall near my house, as my location is near a liquor store, tattoo parlour, and some other places, but these specific things bring them here, because what's more manly than a bunch of dicks, literal and figuratively, hanging together, and liquor and Tattoos? Sounds like a bad gay porn set-up >.>
I severely hate pity parties and self loathing and all that other bullshit and am not saying this for that reason, I do my own mediation within myself and have done so already, but am merely telling you what the problem is;
I can't go out past certain times, especially on certain days, Tuesday & the Weekend being the worst times, and anytime after 6pm on any day because they all come here after work to socialize, which I couldn't care less about, except they socialize in droves of like 30 and hang all over the parking lot and there has been a time when someone once before told me "Batty Bwoys dun hang rahn here" - Basically saying gays shouldn't be up this way.
I've never been approached or whatever, but I don't take the chance because I'm not dumb, were they to see me enough, they'd likely approach, just from observing how I carry myself and noticing my habits, Mama didn't raise no fool :hugs-and-kisses-smi
It's annoying because I have to go shopping early in the morning and do my errands and talk to who I have to talk to before like 2pm, just so I can get home in time to beat the first bunch of guys at 3-4. I only leave the house when they're out if a friend or family member comes to pick me up right outside and they usually (against my Profuse "You don't have to stay's") wait outside to watch me enter my house before they drive off.
My Uncle lately has become very aggressive, because at one point he himself used to heckle gays or whatever, but as he's gotten older and has come to term with me being gay, he has come to my aid and told me to tell him if any of the guys say anything to me, which I obviously won't do, because he has a family and children, and I'm not selfish. So this is also something I've had to take into consideration, because knowing how he is, he'd waste no time, driving the 5mins from his house to mine in order to protect me like or whatever and inevitably get hurt in the process or worse, so I have to be very careful with him on that matter.
Every day after work (April-October), I'd have to walk past them and through them and near them and could feel the tense atmosphere and just the general uncomfortable vibe, They'd nod their heads and say wagwaan and what not, but it's just out of general respect.
So after the night I was told Fags don't belong here, I told my mother about it, because she didn't really have a clue and at that point I was scared they'd try and get in and I needed to atleast let one person know, but I didn't want her to know, cause she's even worse then my uncle sometimes, she told me that I need to go live with her and my sister for awhile to see what we can do about my situation, and the way things are looking, it looks like I will be moving out by the end of the month, something the land lord knows already.
Something I really really didn't want to do, because I love being on my own and was doing pretty fine considering this was my first time having my own apartment, supporting myself entirely and the whole she-bang, but even I'm not bull-headed enough to not realize when it's my time to go.
So today (16/11/2013), I will be moving in with my Mother and Sister for two weeks to see where this whole clusterfuck will take me, so I won't be home, but they have WiFi too and I'm taking my laptop and electronics and shit, so I should be able to still get on here and talk to you bitches <3, but it probably won't be as frequent, cause now I have to sort out stuff I thought I already had sorted and no doubt will be out of the house alot >.>
And just cause I was enjoying my unemployment from the beach too:crying-and-sorry-li, which itself presented nearly equal problems for me, but that's another story and I'm supremely relieved that chapter in my life is over.
So yeah, That's it now you know the whole quick, which wasn't so quick and I love you gurls if you finished lol, and even if you didn't and just skipped to the bottom ;3 (You know who you are
)Sorry to be missing out on stuff gurls, I think about you guys though, even though some of your fabulous faces I've yet to see :> . I'm sure I can catch up on being bitchy ^.^ so enjoy your reprieve until then lol.
I may even be back on tonight when I get settled in >.> Toodles Gurls[/COLOR]
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