Are we shoving our gayness down people's throats?

[dfiant1]

Actually it is a rather good analogy Matty

[Eros]

I like to shove my gayness into people's throat because yes. c:

[Sylph]

I'm tired. Point blank.

Tired of having to care so much of what everyone thinks of me. Tired of having to be flappin well tired.

I am a kind person, or at least I try to be, but now that gentle little filter I used to have, its all the fucking way gone, because I'm tired of having to respect and make life easier for other people who want to disrespect and make life harder for me.

All through highschool I wish I was the way I am now, I was so demure, just soft and while I still am for the most part, I have a Hulk Spine. ;p

If that makes it seem like I'm shoving my gayness down someone's throat, then they had better open wide and stretch their throats cause there is more to come.

Honestly, all the people I know( which would pretty much limit me to the people on my island) are vocal, open and for the most part blunt, and while this can also be a negative thing(especially if you are not a "cool kid") , its what I'm used to, so what you may consider shoving I would consider gently placing.

Pride Parades, Rainbow flags, pfft to me, that's nothing and people should be glad for that, rather than the everyday mental and emotional trauma and abuse a gay/lesbian person has to endure while trying to be "regular" or like everyone else.

True everyone has problems and what not and I'm not saying do as Mr.Tinkles pointed out and shout and force and all that, bit being who you are and displaying what you represent proudly should not be seen as an affront or offense to anyone.

I wear Dreadlocks for me and my life, I'm not wrapping them around your head or forcing you to lock up your hair, so if you find my having dreadlocks offensive, then you can swiftly talk to the back of mine as I walk away not giving a single fuck.

My life is not for anyone else, its for me, I'm not hurting anyone, I'm not trying to do anything but live it and have fun my way, so if you have a problem or whatever, then that's on you, not me.

So no, I don't think people are having anything shoved down their throats, but are just too sensitive and want things a certain way and get mad/annoyed when they can't have it.

You don't like my pink shirt? Don't look at me, I'm not going to change me, to please you.

I don't like conservative people who get offended easily, so how about you change? (That's a counter argument that can be said)

[Bowyn Aerrow]

^^^ The reason why we have our rights is because of the more obvious ones amongst us.

Honestly, I may have written many letters to way too many bishops, priests and other clergy members - I seriously doubt all of my letters hand written and snail-mailed through the decades has done as much to form public opinion in FAVOR of gay rights as the as a single 'effeminate' gay male does in his daily life just being himself.

I hold our more openly 'effeminate' noticeable members of our LGBT community in high esteem simply because they are recognized as being 'us' and thus have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

My hat is off to you Sylph...

I would say I get down on bended knee and worship at your altar, but that would be a little creepy. :tongue:

[MisterTinkles]

Lilitu

Absolutely not.

I compare this to people complaining about how immigrants should assimilate completely and cast off their heritage.

Hell no, if I want to do Chinese things I'm gonna do Chinese things, and if you think I shouldn't then you're kind of a arsehole, and a huge part of the reason why there is ethnic conflict.

And if the LGBT community want to express their identity, in the same way all ethnic minorities, social groups - fandoms, sports people, academics etc. - they should. In fact, I think it's very good that even each individual is able to express him/her own identity.

People who want everyone to be exactly the same and just do 'normal' things and be 'normal' people are boring boring boring and no different to the imperialists who thought their lifestyle was superior and tried to enforce it on other cultures.

On top of that, in what way are we 'shoving it down people's throats?' we're not, we're just putting things out for people who want to see to see it.

And even though I don't really like the idea of pride as a matter of principle, everyone who wants to share themselves with the community should be able to.

Besides, I think there are enough hetero-normative attitudes running through society that, even though we face less direct discrimination and abuse as in the 20th century, still has isolated us as a social minority, just as 'normative' attitudes forced ethnic minorities into an isolation that is ignored.

Expressing ones self in a polite, consciences, and respectful way is fine.

Expressing ones self in a "Im right and YOU are wrong", "Burn in HELL if you dont think like me", "Im waving my dick in your face until you say Im equal" way is harassment, unethical, disrespectful, and offensive beyond words.

You can show people how you feel without degrading, demeaning, defacing, insulting, harassing, and belittling others. aka "Shoving down their throats"

[Sylph]

^^^ The reason why we have our rights is because of the more obvious ones amongst us.

Honestly, I may have written many letters to way too many bishops, priests and other clergy members - I seriously doubt all of my letters hand written and snail-mailed through the decades has done as much to form public opinion in FAVOR of gay rights as the as a single 'effeminate' gay male does in his daily life just being himself.

I hold our more openly 'effeminate' noticeable members of our LGBT community in high esteem simply because they are recognized as being 'us' and thus have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

My hat is off to you Sylph...

I would say I get down on bended knee and worship at your altar, but that would be a little creepy. :tongue:

Excuse me❔Obvious Ones⁉Effeminate Ones⁉

I never said I was Effeminate anywhere in that speech, and so what, you're trying to say I'm loud and obnoxious and Feminine?

Ohhh I get it, because I speak up for myself and tell it like it is, I must be a loud, dramatic, effeminate stereotype gay, A Martyr for my gay brethren hmmm??

Well i'll have you know, I am more butch than all the guys here combined and then some, so there

Consider yourself slapped back into line

Also, I don't believe in worship of people, but if you wanna get on bended knee...I'm sure I could think of a few activities we can try aside from worshipping...

Like me sliding my Finger into your special Ring, even though its so small and tight. But I'm sure with enough time I'll fit in it ^•^

Most Wedding Rings adjust over time...

And Gay rights isn't won or achieved by just feminine or "obvious" gays, its a struggle by everyone and for everyone .

[HumbleTangerine]

There are people who bash pride parades because the participants are too loud and flamboyant. There are gay, masculine guys who bash flamboyant gay guys for "ruining the reputation of male homosexuals". I'm not much for flamboyancy or announcing my sexuality to the world in a pride parade, but it would be a sad day when the LGBTQ community starts giving in to demands of normalization.

Some people do shove their sexuality down people's throats. There's a guy in my town who has given himself a nickname containing the word "fag", which he spread around to everyone, all he ever talks about is how gay he is and he makes repeated status updates with hashtags like #justgayproblemslol. His flamboyancy itself isn't annoying, because that's just a personality trait, but his cries for attention are.

[TonyAndonuts]

For the most part, I don't think it's good to constantly bug someone who thinks differently than you do aka "shoving". Everyone has their own opinions and people should respect those opinions. However, I feel like things are different when someone's opinion is potentially harmful or dangerous. If some guy came up to me and told me that they hate all black people, think they're ruining this country, and wish they'd all go back to Africa or something equally as horrible regarding the LGBT, I'm not just gonna nod and say "I respect your opinion". This "opinion" tells me that his particular person might be dangerous or going down a very negative path. It would make me want to do something to change that whatever it may be. If someone told me that they don't like Pokemon and it's just not the type of game for them, then that's fine, to each their own. I'm not gonna harass this person until they say Pokemon is awesome. But in the case of a racist, homophobe, misogynist, or anyone that shows hatred toward a group of people, I feel there's a bit of an exception.

[partis]

When theres double decker buses with gigantic bold black writing saying "SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY - GET OVER IT" swanning all around london.... i dont know ?

[nfisher1226]

I actually never expressed any gayness to anyone for the longest time, with the exception of a couple boyfriends. They most certainly realized I was gay. While the rest of the people in my life were just plain clueless.

It was really not a good thing. I had a few friends who I felt like calling family most of the time, but they were so clueless that they would say the absolute most hurtful bullshit about gays. It really almost ended a few friendships, except that these were people I could rely on above all others and I knew I just had to one day get past it and let the chips fall where they would.

Anyway, a time came when enough was enough and I had to tell a couple people off. I didn't come out at that time though, I just let my feelings be known that the gay bashing was stupid and out of character, and that I really thought they were better than that.

Eventually, I came out to my best friend. I think I turned his world upside down that day. Until then, he didn't know that he knew a masculine gay man and was wondering where they all were and whether they existed at all. It took a lot of discussion to get the point across that I just basically hid in plain sight, and there's a lot of others doing just the same.

I agree with BA that those of us who have never been obvious have benefited greatly from the years of work that others have put it to get us some rights. They laid a lot of groundwork that I can't claim to have helped along. But honestly, the rest of us could still do a lot of good by talking about it and making people realize we're among them. It's a lot harder to hate or demean when you find out you know a person who fits in that group. It forces you to look at things differently or to cast that person aside. I am not as negative about people as some here are, and choose to believe that the majority would choose to rethink they're attitudes rather than lose a close friend or family member.

Frankly the "fight" is far from over, too. In my home state of Ohio there is absolutely no equality under law. We don't have marriage or domestic partnership. We don't have any such measures even on the ballots any time soon. I have little doubt that if I came out at work it would be at the very least an uncomfortable place after that, but in reality I think they'd try to find a way to get rid of me.

Just because public opinion is swinging our way does not mean we're all out of the woods. Until certain things are cemented into law in a way that is completely clear and hard to repeal, I still consider it dangerous to be openly gay where I live. Public opinion could still change. There are a lot of organizations trying to cause public opinion to be negative towards gays, and many that actively try to influence legislation against us.

To sum up I say we should be more vocal, not less. Especially those of us who are quietly living our lives without speaking up for ourselves. If all the straight people with negative attitudes out there had to confront the fact that they most likely have an actual gay friend, that could really make a difference. A lot of people aren't going to be affected by a pride parade, but they might give some real thought to the revelation that some guy they know is gay and actually a pretty alright guy. But we need all of those things to be happening simultaneously for a long enough time to cement it firmly into the public awareness. Someday it's going to be a no-brainer and not a big deal, I hope.

Until then, shove it in a little deeper.