Hi guys.
So, uh... I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. I've always been a bottom since, and I'd like to give topping a try, but I really don't know how to ask him, or even if he would be up for it ?
I'm not shy at all when it comes to having sex. But talking about it ? I still blush like a little girl.
I'm 26 and he's 37. He's larger and heavier than I am, and, yeah, manlier ? Does it sound ridiculous to want to top ? I really need your help there guys.
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There are lots of younger, thinner guys who are tops for big daddy types.
Just ask him. Im sure he wont mind you just asking.
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As a predominate bottom I can get enjoyment from being a top... Uncertain about topping a guy more manly/bigger than me - I admit that I have topped guys smaller and more effeminate than me and it felt 'natural'.
The idea of topping a big manly top guy is a daunting one for me. But does it sound ridiculous.. no - why? ....
In another area, I am also interested in dominating another guy (top/more masculine) on rare occasions - dominate as in BDSM scene.
I know BDSM may not sound like a happy place, but BDSM is about defined roles (Top/bottom) taken to the extreme in many instances. Who controls? The illusion is the top (but bottoms have the most control - ironic no?). So from where I stand the whole 'I want to top my top fella' is not an alien or strange notion.
I really wish you could talk to your partner. A lot of tops out there if pressed would agree they have some minor interest in being in the reverse role occasionally.
I suspect your partner will be willing to try, even have an interest.
Perhaps sit down and write a letter (pen and paper sort of letter) and then wait 24 hours, read it and amend. Then print and hand it to him will work for you to express your interest.
The only way you will break down the walls surrounding talking about sex is to talk about sex.
With your partner this shyness denies BOTH of you much if one or the other can't speak of desires, wants, needs... trust me, when you two can sit down and discuss it in dry clinical terms suddenly a whole new world of possibility opens up for you.
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experimentation and try new things is what keeps a relationship alive, definatly discuss it with him, James
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I feel like the whole top/bottom thing is kind of ridiculous. You need a specific role in order to put your penis somewhere? And if you like it in a certain area you're a top, and if you like someone else's in a certain area you're a bottom?
I mean, really? That kind of labeling is really only good if you're going out for quick sex, isn't it? You can say, "Oh, I like topping" and you find someone that's like, "OMG I WANT YOU IN ME" (AKA top/bottom). How is the label relevant or even mattering here?
You have a boyfriend that you can actually talk to, presumably. So just try it... if you like it, good, if you don't you don't. No big deal... you have sex every so often I'm assuming? Say, "I want to try being on top today", and see how that works. If it works you have something new you can do, and if it doesn't you just keep going on as you were.
Simple.
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Hey guys ! I didn't get any notif saying you had answered, so sorry !
So, er... I, kind of asked him ? More like blurted it out when things started heating up. He freezed for about 3 seconds before he started laughing. Not because of what I asked, but probably because I was beet-red and, well, I looked kind of silly. But in the end he agreed !
It was nice, really, but it could have been better. Guess we'll have to keep practicing !
Thanks for your advice ! It really helped boost my confidence !
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Switching ?
I understand many people have a preference for one or the other, but that shouldn't stop you from trying a little variety.
