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He is just too cute, it´s killing me
#1
Ok so im 21 and just coming out of the closet (only openly gay or really close friends know) and one person who is very open about being gay makes my hearth beat, unfortunately he has been around with a good number of men and he sees me like a kid (no real experience in a relationship either gay or straight) he soars with all his confidence and humor (damn i love his personality) so i took him to the movies and shared a good laugh, and some awsome cuddling, then i concentrated all my strenght and managed to whisper “i really like you”, he just kinda laughed, snuggled close to me and came very close for a kiss, but he stayed there, and i was utterly frozen (when i declared my feelings i could literally hear my own mouth talking by itself guided only by my subconcious) so just cuddled some more (should have gone for the kiss, i know) Then it was all cuddling and whispers in our ears, so i tought, everything is cool.

After the movie i took him to a balcony in the mall where there was no one, and we spoke for a while i explained my feelings and my case of seriously boring closet life, he talked about his life as a wonderfull explorer of the world, and he hinted that he has shot down many guys that are after just sex, that he is tired of the one night stands but at the same time he told me he wants nothing for the moment (as in a relationship) So we talked and it was super cool to share my experiences as an homosexual with someone like me, we shared a cab (back in the closet because in my country and city being homosexual es very tabu, south mexico, go figure) we said goodbye and we both walked to our close by houses.

Back in my house i went online and found him in fb, so we chatted some more and i told him something like “about what i told you, i dont know, think about it” and he responded ” jajaja you are crazy, you know that.
But i really like you.i alredy told you i like you very much, but thats it n.n we are only friends and dont want you to get your hopes up”

Soo i feel like crap, that was 2 months ago, i started going out with 2 other friends, and it turns out my gaydar is broken cuz both of them are straight (damn wishful thinking), but i have gone out with my crush to the movies and yesterday i invited him to the park, we went to a lovely botanical park and it was pretty empty, we walked, chatted, horsed around a bit (he is petite and im big so naturally i carried him, huged him and groped him, all in "good fun" of course) and there were this sweet moments when our hands would touch and linger there.

Then we went to an amusement park wich is next to the botanical park and i invited some frappes and crepes, we ate and talked about stuff like school or gosip about other boys, we played some old school games and shot some targets.

It was a GREAT afternoon, and basically what i have always wanted of a gay life, go out with a boy, laugh, eat and play, amazing. I am very comfortable with his friendship, but would love to be his boyfriend. So after that he told me he had to go see a friend of his dance (a gay man who is also his boss in his part time job) so we walked to the culture house and in the way he told me that about a month and a half ago he had broken up with a boyfriend (which could, in my wishful mind, explain why he shot me down 2 months ago) and he told me how he has been around the gay scene of our little towns since he was 15 (dayum). So after a while we arrived to the culture house, he introduced me to his friend (very flamboyant man, acording to my friends own words, since i had asked if he was dating him, he said, no we are just very good friends and he is my wingman) we chatted a while and after 15 minutes they had to leave with all the dance team to the next town down the road 30 minutes, they had a dance exposition and my friend was going to cheer on his friend.

So my friend asked me to come with him, but i couldnt since i had run out of time we huged goodbye and that was it.

What am i to think? He said rather clearly "dont get your hopes up" but all those moments torture me, i dont know what to do. Should i hit on my again?, keep growing the friendship? (i hate the friendzone btw) Should i adress the issue clearly and ask him something along the lines of "can i get my hopes up or it is definately never going to happend"? Any toughs will be apreciated.

Forgive my awful English
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#2
It doesn't sound very harmful, to be honest. This story is a very pleasant one from what I'm used to. Yes, you have feelings that aren't being given back, but this man isn't using you, he's given you someone to relate to, and he isn't abusing you --- which would be easy to do given your feelings.

Do you think you'd be able to continue a friendship? I think he is a good resource for you. I wouldn't say no to gently telling him you're still interested, but make sure you respect boundaries if you want him as a friend, and keep other options open. If you find you like someone else who might like you back, consider that, you can't wait on one guy forever. Likewise, if you are in too much pain over this crush to remain friends, gently break off your friendship. I do not recommend giving an ultimatum of either a relationship or nothing... yes, I get that being friendzoned sucks, but it's better than a big fall out.

Also, he's keeping you around for a reason. Something about you is likable to him, and you have shared some intimacy together. That means there probably is interest there, and it's very possible something may someday happen. I simply placed this bit at the end because I wanted you to see that this might not occur.

Oh. A last note --- being closeted does make it harder to find a significant other, but it happens all of the time. He is far from your only option, and someday, it's likely you will find someone that sparks the process of coming out to those important to you. Besides, short of wearing a "Fabulous!!!" badge, there's never going to be a time when everyone knows you are gay. Coming out is continual and you've done it already --- you just need to keep doing it. To everyone that's important to you. Forever. And ever. Uhm, so anyway...! The good news is that you've already come out to a few people.
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#3
that sound like me and a guy, we kissed on a night out and went on a date but he wants to be friends and i wanted more. but we are friends and thats has been good for me as it is helping me to come out.

so judge ur connection if hes a good friend and someone u can talk to keep him, i know its hard he doesn't feel the same. but maybe he might not be ready for another relationship. give it more time and see if ur feelings change and if he means more of a friend then a boyfriend. and if u still want more, like woolyhats said tell him but make sure yeh can still be friends if he doesn't feel the same.

he sounds like a nice guy and someone who could be good to help u come out as he show u what being public is like. this can help so much
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#4
I guess i will keep him as a friend even tought the "friendzone" stings a bit it doesnt matter since he is such a wonderful guy. Thanks for the advice guys Smile
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#5
Ay, cómo te detesto..Cry

No, really, I'm in a similar situation with an openly gay guy, super nice and super experienced....

but you, cuate, have gone very very far already Xyxthumbs

I enjoyed your story so much...and he seems so sweet...ah, it definitely reminds me of my guy...

Now, seeming how you are very brave in telling him how you feel, I don't see any harm in asking him if there's is a chance or definitely not..just to know..

if not, well, keep him as a friend nevertheless..

and if you 2 get to be very close again, like face to face....go for it..steal that kiss from him..

if anything to say you did try..
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#6
Festino Wrote:I guess i will keep him as a friend even tought the "friendzone" stings a bit it doesnt matter since he is such a wonderful guy. Thanks for the advice guys Smile

it dose sting but there friendship can help that pain
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#7
Festino Wrote:responded ” jajaja you are crazy

You know, english speakers will read the "Jajajaja" as a yayaya, so next time ya laugh try to use hahaha. lol <3
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#8
Eros Wrote:You know, english speakers will read the "Jajajaja" as a yayaya, so next time ya laugh try to use hahaha. lol <3

Actually, we will read J as it is in the name John. It will be jajajajajajajaja to us. Y is not pronounced like J in English.
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#9
Tell that to the other english speaking fuckers that told me that. D:
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#10
Actually Eros is correct, would it not be taken as the Hollywood version of Swedish "yes."
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