So... Part 2

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Bob came home. HE couldn't make the walk from car to house, so he sat in a lawn chair while 911 Medical Lift service came out to carry him into the house.

He is on a catheter now, which I get to empty daily... Can't hardly walk, so I moved his bed into the sitting room about 5 paces away from his lazy-boy.

He can't manage his insulin anymore - guess who gets to inject him now....

Back in June he was bad, now he is even far worse than June. In June he could walk from the car to the house, to his bedroom, manage injecting himself.

I volunteered to spend a week at his house and cook meals. The maid quit 2.5 months ago, I took over that job. and two weeks spread out to 168 days of my having to be over there 4 times a day and deal with a lot of stuff that some people get paid to do.


I sent an email to his Son and Daughter telling them I can no longer do this all for free, now that my duties includes such wonderful things as emptying piss bags, and rubbing cream on the rash on his arse I think its time I get paid for this. I said I wanted $300 a week.

I also gave them two weeks to figure out what to do. At the end of two weeks I'm returning to just my duties as a gardener - unless they decide to kick me out or some bull shit like that.

Did I do good, or did I make a mistake? IDK -

Anyway, you have been seeing less of me because I have been dealing with stuff around here. You will be seeing less of me for at least two weeks because Bob is far from a well woman. Longer if I start getting paid.

[Joshular]

Did I do good, or did I make a mistake? IDK -

Well what do you think?

I think it's fair to be asked for what you are worth. At the same time it sounds like he hasn't long to live. And are you going to leave him there? And what let his piss bag fill up have him suffer?
You best lose all empathy if you're not going to help him no matter what. It could end up being an issue of karma in the end. Help the poor man IMO is what is right. But also get what you are worth. Tell the son and daughter that you want what you are worth or they need to organize help otherwise.

[partis]

Yes i think you done right. This man didnt bring you into this world, hes not concerned about you after he leaves it...

You deserve to be paid

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well what do you think?

I think it's fair to be asked for what you are worth. At the same time it sounds like he hasn't long to live. And are you going to leave him there? And what let his piss bag fill up have him suffer?
You best lose all empathy if you're not going to help him no matter what. It could end up being an issue of karma in the end. Help the poor man IMO is what is right. But also get what you are worth. Tell the son and daughter that you want what you are worth or they need to organize help otherwise.

Karma as in no good deed goes unpunished?

:tongue:

[nfisher1226]

You cannot put your own life on hold forever. You did right. If anyone should bear the burden it's family. If they are unwilling, well it's going to be heartbreaking but it should be their shame and not yours.

[southbiochem]

I was often wondering if this Bob had a family...

where are this son and daughter when the diabetic father is in need of care?

sometimes these things are tricky: distance, money, whatever..

but you do what you can...it's your freaking father...you don't leave him under the care of some strange dude..(no offense there, Bowyn)

They might as well start paying you. You may exercize empathy given the type of job you do for an old man, but it´s still a job and jobs are to be waged..simple as that

[MisterTinkles]

You asked for WAAAAYYYY too little pay!!!!

You should have asked for $500 a week AT LEAST!
Certified home care takers get a hell of a lot more than that (usually start around $1200 a week)!!!

Im am SOOO SERIOUS about it when I tell you TALK TO A LAWYER!!!!
You NEED to protect yourself, and get your fair share when this man dies, since his douchebag family is just waiting to swoop in and pick everything to the bone when he dies.

You NEED a lawyer to protect you! Seeing as how his "family" is, they can sue you for his death, since they did not hire you for this job and because you are not a certified nurse.

GET A LAWYER...[SIZE="6"]NOW!!!!!![/SIZE]

[Geminize]

I don't know anything about the legal issues Tinks brought up, but I'm sure there is some cause for concern there. Without any written agreement between you and Bob, or his family, things could get messy. It's just pathetic that Bob's son and daughter aren't willing to do a thing for him -- or for you.

I assume you're getting free housing there for all your efforts. That + $300 a week is nowhere near fair compensation for the work you have taken on. In-home care costs a bundle, and the family would be lucky to find a pro who cares as much as you about Bob, or even speaks the same language.

Get legal advice if you can. Document everything you do there, and all communication with his family. Check with the dept of social services (oops. You're in California. There are no social services.) or even local churches. There must be a way for you to get some relief.

Hang in there!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Understand he is 82, his daughter celebrated the 6th or 7th anniversary of her 59th birthday recently (65-67 years of age). She is recovering from rotor cuff surgery, her husband has had a cancerous skin lesion/tumor removed and is undergoing skin cancer treatments.

They are in colorado - and from the short reply I got:

David,
Thank you for all that you do and we will resolve this with Bob just as soon as we can. You should not be doing all of this for no compensation. Rod is in meetings until early afternoon but will address this with Bob when he gets home. I was not aware that the cleaner had not been coming in.
Sincerely,
Sabra

They are not aware of things out here. They didn't even know the maid quit, which Bob told me he told his daughter.

so there is a massive communication issue going on here.

Mr. Tinkles. If a trip around the world cost ten cents I couldn't get out of my front door. Getting a Lawyer ain't going to happen, I can't afford that.

I am aware that a certified tech gets between 400-500 dollars a week. I put my bid in lower to demonstrate that I care and am trying to keep this friendly.

I'm still trying to be the nice guy. Even though I know he can afford a lot more, I'm not going to push the matter because I know he is 'frugal' which is his word for 'ultra-conservative cheap-assed bastard'.

[southbiochem]

Tinkles and Gem brought this concern to me..

if the old man dies, which he will sooner or latter...

where would you live?

will the kids take the house, kick you out and sell?....will they let you stay?