Don't know what to do and how to survive this

[Undreamt]

Are you seriously going there? first if it was an open relationship, the poster shouldn't have lied to anyone, he lied to D and he lied to G, yet he told D he was single, when the fellatio occurred he wouldn't have felt that bad and the message G sent D doesn't give any vibe of an open relationship.

And the first thing EVERY cheater tell his partner is "It was just a hook up! nothing serious" followed by "I will never se him again."

I chose not to make any presumptions, I am also playing devils advocate because i think people are focusing on the wrong thing.

I am not defending the lying, that IS wrong, honest communication IS important.

Lets look at what was actually said.

After G. texted me I my hard-on fell.

So his BF turned him off, it could have been because he felt guilty, but not guilty enough to stop what he was doing (he did give head and stay over after all).
It could also be because he is just over his bf and the reminder was an irritation. (ever been turned off by an ex that calls at the wrong time?)

Yesterday G. found out D.'s messages and messaged him from my phone. "I'm sorry. I have a boyfriend and I'm staying with him".

Notice how he didn't say that G asked him to explain what was going on. G didn't blow up and txt what the **** are you doing with my bf?
Sounds to me that G didn't care that they had been fooling around, he just wanted to make it clear that they were in a relationship.

[dfiant1]

Also why does everyone immediately think that its cheating?

Sounds more like an open relationship that has become complicated.

If he was physically cheating then do you think he would have told his bf that it was just a hookup? Do you think that the bf might have reacted a bit stronger than just txting the other guy saying that he had a bf?

The fact that the BF found the texts on his phone and sent a reply saying 'Back off I have a BF' is a MASSIVE hint at how 'open' the relationship is which also leads us to the basic knowledge that there is a 'cheating' factor in the relationship

[Undreamt]

Emotional cheating maybe but not the physical cheating that everyone seems to get hung up about. Hence why I'm focusing on the need to communicate more than the "oh no he slept with someone else."

Its one thing to fool around with someone, completely different to go on a date with them.

[less]

Please do not make a monster of me.
First of all, I became tired of G. for some reason, he realy caused me much pain without cheating.
To make it clear, I wasn't going to find some other guy for cheating. I wa'ts going to break up with G. after things have gone too far and when I'm sure about D's feelings about me.

Now I feel lost, because I think D. wouldn't like this whole lying stuff (who would) and I'm not sure about D.'s feelings. He was thinking I was great, that's all I know.

I'm staying with G. till both of us find other places to live. I don't talk to G. anymore. He is staying on his knees pleading me to stay with him.

I know that lying is bad and I feel extremely guilty. I don't know what to do about D. and I feel broken.

[Joshular]

YOU WERE READY TO HURT HIM THE MOMENT YOU TOOK THE D.
Now do what's right and break up with G.
YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT A YEAR AGO!!!!
>:c

[Joshular]

Please do not make a monster of me.
First of all, I became tired of G. for some reason, he realy caused me much pain without cheating.
To make it clear, I wasn't going to find some other guy for cheating. I wa'ts going to break up with G. after things have gone too far and when I'm sure about D's feelings about me.

Now I feel lost, because I think D. wouldn't like this whole lying stuff (who would) and I'm not sure about D.'s feelings. He was thinking I was great, that's all I know.

I'm staying with G. till both of us find other places to live. I don't talk to G. anymore. He is staying on his knees pleading me to stay with him.

I know that lying is bad and I feel extremely guilty. I don't know what to do about D. and I feel broken.

I'm not making a monster outta you I's telling you what you should have done. You should know right from wrong!
Well tell D. what happen don't be a liar. If you wana be in a relationship and get the D. you'll have to have clarity!
No lies nothing to hide. Nothing but the truth and not half truth full ones.

[less]

I'm breaking up with G.
I just don't know what to do about D., I'm afraid to call him or message him.
I was trying to forget him, but I can't

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Then you should have the balls to at least talk to D and explain the situation if you want to have any hope of recovering the relationship with D.

If he's not interested, then move on.

You may want to give yourself some space between breaking up with G, and getting with anyone else, should D no longer be viable.

Good luck with whatever happens.

ObW
X

[Joshular]

Then you should have the balls to at least talk to D and explain the situation if you want to have any hope of recovering the relationship with D.

If he's not interested, then move on.

You may want to give yourself some space between breaking up with G, and getting with anyone else, should D no longer be viable.

Good luck with whatever happens.

ObW
X

The old man has a point. If you ever want the D. then you'll have to contact him or he'll be gone for ever. and that's a long time.

[southbiochem]

I became tired of G...... I don't talk to G. anymore. He is staying on his knees pleading me to stay with him.

Stop hurting a guy that clearly loves you and let him go..

if you're tired of him, be honest about it and set out to find someone else

if you stay with him you'll only cheat on him again and again and causing more damage than you have already caused

sadly, I think you'll end up in worse shape out of the 3...take a moment and think how you are dealing with things..it's not looking good