rant

[Anonymous]

**this is a rant...may contain strong language, as feelings and emotions are involved. itsthe holidays can you tell im angsty and depressed**

ok. so its the glorious fucking holidays where families get together, people are supposedly fucking happy and joyous blah blah blah. truth is, im absolutely, despondently lonely. like cripplingly lonely. it hurts so goddamned bad, i dont even want to do anything for christmas. everyone else is surrounded by family and friends ,adn im the lonely guy that's just like a fucking zombie.

later today im supposed to go to some big family christmas dinner where some of my family will be there and ill get the nth degree wanting to know when im getting married, why im not dating anyone, how im such a sweet boy and will make some girl really happy. all while these stupip people pretend to care for a few hours then go back to not giving a fuck for another 364 days and 22 hours. but thats another rant.

its bad,. i just finished my normal pretend to give a shit christmas eve with my parents, brother, sister in law, niece and nephew. we all agreed no gifts for us, jsutfor the kid. i mean, im in my late 20s and i dont need anything. im driving home and my mom calls me to stop by their house beforei went home to start drinking myself into a christmas fuck my lief stupor. so i went over and she gave me a christmas present in the driveway, guess dad didnt know about it. hed say some bs like why didny you get (brother) anything but you got (me) something she evidently wanted to make sure that i got something for christmas...she got my dad studd, dad got her stuff my brother and his wife always exchange gifts blah blah blah. but mom seems to know, even when i dont talk about it how fucking lonely i am. i cried tonight for the first time in years because of this.

anyway, so im lopnely its the holudays. im drunk. but what the fuck is wrong with me? am i that bad of a fucking person that i havent dated in years, cant seem to have a guy even give me a second look? what the fuck. i alwasy get asked what i want for christmas. and i want someone in my life that ACTUALLY GIVES A FGUCK ABOUT ME. not a fucking pity gift or the cute little friend hug. its seriously pathetic. everything that's supposedly worth it in the world, the 4 days in the world where no one wants to be single, birthday, thanks giving, christmas and new years, im single. but beyond that im lonely, and bitter about being lonely. i go to christmas parties to make the appearance but it kills me. im the only single guy there, just like tomorrow at this bullshit family gathering crap. everyone else there brigns husbandsm, wifes, boyfriends and girlfriends...except my cousin that's a lesbian and i dont think has ever dated...well shes probs asexual, because ive never even heard her talk about anything.

anyway im going to end this rant that probably has no pirpose, no one is going to read or care about and keep drinking. maybe if im drunk ill forget about about the holidays. fuck them.

[Oilngasguy]

If all you want is to stop feeling lonely then make some friends and live your life instead of viewing it from the outside. As far as a relationship goes I like to think of finding someone like that baseball movie, "if you live it, he will come". Just don't worry so much about being alone and you'll find Joy and fulfilment in other things and eventually get what you desire. Give me a shout if you need to talk to someone that much I don't have anyone to chat with except the ex wife and she's talking to other people most of the time anyway.

[justbry87]

I know how you feel.

It might not offer any consolation whatsoever, but you're
not the only one..

Hang in there.. It's almost over.. <3

[EvenOlderButWiser]

You need to break out of wallowing in this self pity if your going to move forward, otherwise it becomes self fulfilling and you will end up in a downward spiral.

Why not volunteer at a homeless shelter, hospital, or old folks home. You need to understand that there are always people worse off than yourself.

What you really need is a good kick up the arse, followed by a cuddle and a good cry. The Holiday period can be a tough time for lots of people, for a multitude of reasons. Your no different.

You post everything anonymously on here. Step out from the shadows, accept who you are and start writing your New Years resolution on how your going to improve YOUR situation.

Merry Christmas.

ObW
X

[southbiochem]

Xmas is a dreadful time for people with not so happy lives, difficult situations, etc..

I get it...I myself find the whole forced joy increasingly difficult to cope with every year..

if such "joy" was not forced it would be better spent..

alas, people seem to want to shove xmas down your throat...

that said, you can't let this time make you spiral down into this state of bitternes..it's just a day, then it's all normal again..

families can be troublesome, I get, but you don't need to answer to them..no law forces you to have answer for their annoying questions....nod, agree, and then walk away...

OBW is right...many people have it worse than you and me..

go out there, take risks, get out of the self-loathing spiral and you might just find that somene will look back at you..

[Festino]

Im sorry to hear you are feeling so low. About 3 months ago i got sick tired of my life as it was, closet boring boy, fat and not atractive, it had always been my policy not to fit in this society, but lonelines is hard to live with, so i changed my lifestyle, started working out, came out to my friends and little by little life is getting better, i got my first gay kiss the other day from my crush so thats nice.

What i mean to tell you is that, sometimes we feel "cool" staying away from society or "fake" happines, but if you feel bad being lonely then do something about it. its our nature to be gregarious, work to become who you want to be. If you want to be someone in particular first you have to believe it, go on and make yourself believe. Transform into what you desire. And love yourself, if you dont love yourself who will?

Remember "innuendo" by queen "you can be anything you want to be, just turn yourself into anything you think that you could ever be, be free with your tempo, be free, be free, surrender your ego, be free, be free to yourself"