Dating - Other Opinions Needed

[GRRRR]

I have had 2 proper relationships....

Forget to say...
You must kiss loads of frogs first before the right person will show up into your life.

[Joshular]

I have had 2 proper relationships one of which was fantastic.
I now find myself on the online dating scene although I go to gay bars from time to time.
The trouble with online dating is that it seems the vast majority of guys are looking for no strings sex. They will tell you what you want to hear, even talk about the future and then either they will ignore or you will meet for a hookup and afterwards they will ignore.
Why?
My opinion is that they do not want to have to wrestle with their emotions. They look forward and see themselves losing control or maybe they realize I am just not interested in hooking up?
Fortunately I don't do hookups any more as I found in the past that they were too difficult to deal with emotionally.
From my point of view, I tend to come across as too needy sometimes online - I know that. I reply to too many texts, send too many emails and by that I mean if I haven't heard from someone after a few days I might email or text.
Now I know sometimes the reasons for someone not replying might be:
1. They are busy with work
2. They are busy with other matters
3. They may have lost their phone
4. They might be dead
5. They might have lost interest
6. They might be playing with you

Now I know that most guys need a challenge in order for them to feel attracted to you.
That means you value yourself, flirt a little and keep them guessing. Make them work.
I am useless at this.

I am looking for advice on that as I usually end up kissing on the first date and usually this is also the last date.

Any advice would be great, even hard hitting advice.

Thanks :-)

I think you're looking for love in all the wrong places.
Online and gay bars.
Not the places for a decent meaningful relationship to start IMO

[loserguy]

Hey,

Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond.
It was very kind of all of you and is much appreciated.
There is certainly plenty to contemplate.

Possibly my body language gives the wrong signals. It was never something I was aware of. And yeah I am well able to wait before being intimate even though sometimes it is hard.

The holding back on the kissing will be hard but necessary but as regards meeting people, my choices are limited. I'm sure I will crack the online dating deal eventually but I am thinking that friends first is the way to go. I hate games but I will try to play a smarter game online from now on. Nothing wrong with my charm or flirting but the key is to reveal myself in small steps so as there is an air of mystery which will hopefully help to keep the guy interested :-)

[GRRRR]

the best way is starting to know someone is starting with a friendship.. it is easier to cope somehow

[EvenOlderButWiser]

If you want to find your Prince Charming, the reality is you need to put yourself out there so you can both find each other.

In my opinion (and experience) there is nothing wrong with using online dating to open some doors to meeting new people whom you would otherwise never cross paths with.

The challenge is in pitching your standards at just the right level that any potential suitor knows your not looking to jump into bed - otherwise known as NSA - from the off. If your online profile makes that clear up front, then straight off (pun intended ) your going to filter 90% of the guys who are only interested in NSA. The hard thing is for you to ensure male instinct doesn't overwhelm your senses and you end up jumping into bed LoL.

Oh, and while a few people has responded saying you will never find love online or in gay bars, I wouldn't be so dismissive. I met my partner online, and we have been together 10 years.

It just takes that one date......

ObW
X