12-18-2013, 07:18 AM
I'm currently in a relationship with a great guy who's just about everything I could want in another man. He's thoughtful, sweet, and romantic. We like the same music and shows, he really listens to me and gets me, and I'm generally just a happier person when he's near. The one problem we've had in our year or so of dating is that we just don't click in the bedroom.
We both identify as tops. Now, while I generally consider myself a top, I do consider bottoming on occasion for the right guy (i.e. this guy). However, because he is an older man, he has some *ahem* erectile issues. So that kills any chance of me ever bottoming for him. The chances of him bending for me are also very, very slim as well. He also has some medical issues with his backdoor that prevents any anilingus (or "rimming", which is my favorite activity in the bedroom).
We've essentially resorted to frottage and oral sex (him performing on me), but it seems that's as far as anything will ever go. It's a much bigger deal to him than it is to me (my sex drive is much lower than his). As much as we click out of bed, it's just...not there IN bed. It's gotten to the point where our sexual activity seems forced and stagnant, given the huge lack of things we're able to do. When I am actually in the mood, I have to forsake all of my favorite things to do, and he has to forsake his.
I want to tell him about this, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. We get along so well, I would hate for something like this to spoil it. What should I do?
We both identify as tops. Now, while I generally consider myself a top, I do consider bottoming on occasion for the right guy (i.e. this guy). However, because he is an older man, he has some *ahem* erectile issues. So that kills any chance of me ever bottoming for him. The chances of him bending for me are also very, very slim as well. He also has some medical issues with his backdoor that prevents any anilingus (or "rimming", which is my favorite activity in the bedroom).
We've essentially resorted to frottage and oral sex (him performing on me), but it seems that's as far as anything will ever go. It's a much bigger deal to him than it is to me (my sex drive is much lower than his). As much as we click out of bed, it's just...not there IN bed. It's gotten to the point where our sexual activity seems forced and stagnant, given the huge lack of things we're able to do. When I am actually in the mood, I have to forsake all of my favorite things to do, and he has to forsake his.
I want to tell him about this, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. We get along so well, I would hate for something like this to spoil it. What should I do?