Please help me out?

[jontan]

Hi all, I've got some questions to ask everyone with regards to this feeling i have. I'm confused and puzzled as well but it's the first time i'm experiencing this.

I met someone (open about his sexuality) whom we could get along quite well. We text quite frequently on a daily basis. He would greet me in the morning and before heading to bed. We went on a day trip to a nearby town and I believe we both enjoyed ourselves throughly. We got so close to the point that it led to sexual stuff.

I'm discreet and still exploring hence I'm always saying that we should maintained this line that we are good friends. (Friends with benefits, perhaps?)

However i feel the connection we have is drifting, he recently travelled overseas for a little over a month and i find that we already seldom talk due to the different time zones and perhaps he is just busy overseas.

What saddens me is that he started using ****** and frequently goes "online" there. I know, as friends it shouldn't bother me, as it's his life but i don't know why, i'm feeling really depressed and sad about it.

I have this thinking that he is meeting other people and hence lesser interaction with me.

I really dont know, i'm quite confused and i feel kinda "used" in the sense as both of us are overseas, away from our homeland and perhaps he just needed the company.

Please enlighten me, thanks a lot.

-Depressed.

[MisterTinkles]

Ok, first, specify what "******" is.

[southbiochem]

I'm assuming ********** is some sort of dating site or similar..

sure, if you guys were friends and only friends, it's only natural...

of course he's open about his sexuality so I assume more experienced..he might have a different view on what the 2 of you were doing regarding the emotional aspect while you became more involved in it..

so, if nothing goes on, and you definitely lose contact, then move on, it maybe hard, but get out there and look for whomever will make you happy, go out there and meet someone else...guy, girl, whatever you feel ok with at the moment..

don't hang on to this too much if he distances himself even further..you're exploring, so let me tell you the obvious cliche..tehre are plenty of other fish in the sea for you to explore..

best of lucks

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Well, unless I misread your post, the two of you are not in any kind of official relationship. Your friends, so what he does when he's not around you is pretty much up to him.

However, what you are feeling is that old green eyed monster that often raises its head once you start to feel some emotional attachment to someone. Jealousy.

There is only one way to confront this, and thats head on. Sit your friend down and have a discussion about what your both looking for in a relationship, and establish whether there is any interest in taking your friendship to the "next" level.

Its also important at this stage, to establish any ground rules, exclusivity etc. Often this is not discussed and can lead to some very complicated situates later on in the relationship.

Good Luck!

ObW
X

[jontan]

I'm assuming ********** is some sort of dating site or similar..

sure, if you guys were friends and only friends, it's only natural...

of course he's open about his sexuality so I assume more experienced..he might have a different view on what the 2 of you were doing regarding the emotional aspect while you became more involved in it..

so, if nothing goes on, and you definitely lose contact, then move on, it maybe hard, but get out there and look for whomever will make you happy, go out there and meet someone else...guy, girl, whatever you feel ok with at the moment..

don't hang on to this too much if he distances himself even further..you're exploring, so let me tell you the obvious cliche..tehre are plenty of other fish in the sea for you to explore..

best of lucks

Thanks for your replies guys!

** is actually like an app like Grindr/Jackd.

yeah, i see where you all are coming from and i know i have no say in his life...but it does affect me emotionally!

I guess i've just put myself out there vulnerably. It's my first time opening myself out and i guess it's just a "first experience" for me hence i'm going through all this.

He did mention he was afraid he would fall for me but i brushed it aside saying we're friends. I'm really at lost, my heart tells me one thing but my head says another.

He's going through some issues now with his ex and i believe he is drowning himself by meeting people from the app and perhaps even that. (He has a suggestive photo as "private photo". Which makes me very sad, tried talking to him but he kept saying that i'm making him feel worst by talking "sense" and "reasoning it" out with him.

I'm just really sad that my heart literally broke. He's hard headed saying what's wrong with having a profile in Grindr & Jackd and what a "single gay man" can do and what he needs most when he's single?

I replied him saying i've given up after giving him a long distance call which he avoided.