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Came Out.. incompletely.
#1
So, I came out to my Mom.
I didn't want to tell my Dad, because... because.
She simply said that it wasn't right and rambled on about how it's a choice,
I just sat there quietly and didnt really make a stand for myself. A few days later, I found out that she told my Dad and he gave me a super homophobic speech while we were alone in the car, he said it wasn't natural, it was an "American" thing I was copying from friends, and it was against our culture. After that we never spoke of it, I'm nervous about bringing it up again.
I'm not a very emotional person and I find it difficult expressing myself to others, especially now that I know their stance on it.
I'm tired of living like this... I just want to be me without having to sacrifice all i've known for 16 years
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#2
Probably it would be better to avoid the subject with them for a while, how old are you?

Give them time to think about it, now they know so they will hopefully come to terms with it
Welcome to GS
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#3
Im not the best person to give advice BUT here are my thoughts.
You brought it to their attention, they are bothered by it and so it should stick in their mind. Eventually (near future) you will be confronted again by them, at that time they should be a bit more understanding IE you broke the ice already. re explain your situation, Id end it with something cryptic (as I said to someone the other night) in most cases mankind intelligence never evolved beyond Salem, only the witches changed. Just put that in their mind or something similar and walk away and let it eat at them.
It really helps to be older say 18+ as your parents realize they can loose you, until then they know they have a level of control and will flex it when it suits them. Its hard to give advice on the situation every parent is different (I have yet to tell anyone my deal) so as before im probably not the person to give advice but that's how I would approach it.
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#4
I was at first told too that it was a New Zealand thing, something that wasn't in our culture.

My mum understands better after she talked to her best friend in australia about it.

I would somehow get somebody she trusts or respects to talk to her or your dad.
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#5
No offence, but your parents will be the downfall of our species.
Those people who believe its their way or no way will cause bad things to happen in the future before things get bad. It will only be so long before gays get tired of crap from homophobes and forcibly do something.
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#6
Sorry to hear it didn't go according to plan..
I'm assuming your still pretty young so they could be thinking that it's a phase that you will grow out of, hence the "if we don't talk about it we won't encourage it" stance. I wouldn't bring it up for a while, give them time to come around maybe get use to the idea.
Also would like to add well done for coming out despite what the outcome was, it took guts.
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#7
Festino Wrote:how old are you?

justcharles Wrote:I'm tired of living like this... I just want to be me without having to sacrifice all i've known for 16 years

:3 there...

I'm sah helpfull.
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#8
Uy....

well, avoid the subject for now...you did what you had to, they know, it's a done deal..

hopefully they will come to terms with it...if not...endure the few years you have left with them, and when you have the chance, get out there and live your life..

congrats on being brave enough to tell her..

best of lucks
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#9
Quote:I just want to be me without having to sacrifice all i've known for 16 years
Practically speaking that's not going to happen. You're going to have to make a choice about what's more important to you, playing it safe with your family or being happy and comfortable with yourself. If you choose to play it safe I doubt you'll really be happy in the long run. If you stick to your guns, they may come around or they may not.

They will also have to make a choice about whether they want to keep you in their lives or risk losing you. Frankly, they are the ones who should have to be making the hard choices here, not you. You shouldn't be the one being pressured to conform to their views here. By 16 you have a pretty good idea who and what you are.

I'm not saying run right home and confront them. You need a roof over your head and some peace for the next few years while you get ready to live on your own. But if and when the subject comes up again it would do them good to know they can't bully you, that you're becoming your own man.
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