12-22-2013, 06:00 PM
So hey gurls, while I was bored without my Wifi, and still job hunting, I decided to sit my fat ass down and do some free thought writing, like literally I just sat the pitch flat down and wrote. No planning, plot, nothing I just went for it gurls.
This title may or may not seem familiar to you cupcakes, as I did a few poems under the same title, but this story doesn't have a whole lot to do with the poems really. They too were just free thought stuff. I don't really like to sit and plan, cause I like to change things up as I go :p.
So any who, I suppose I will share it with y'all. It's no where near finished and It's not on my agenda to like write a book and all that, but I figured it might be an interesting read if nothing else. And there are probably a shit ton of weird phrasings and words that probably might not make sense to you, I do not claim to be the most proficient user of the English Language in the Standard form, we all know this. But hopefully if you read it, it makes sense to ya <3 .
Here we gooooooooooooo
[COLOR="Blue"]To Which is Felt, but Never Seen
~Prologue~
I...I used to think once a upon a time ago, that this was just a phase, that it'd go away, that I would stop caring...noticing...hurting. But it seems this is just how it is for me, I've been given this "gift" and simply am not allowed to return to sender. I often wondered why I was different, why everyone else was the same, why they couldn't accept my difference, but now... I only wonder why I even care anymore. The only person who ever cared... understood...loved me as I was, was taken from me, for what we could do. For what he was, for what I am. For what we aren't. I've been waiting for him, as I'm sure he's been looking for me, so I figured this would pass the time... after all...we have alot of it.
~Chapter 1~
Oh yes, I'm 120 and I'll be 121 in October next year, but it's not like that's unusual or anything. At first, it was okay, it wasn't noticeable, but after I started College for the first time, when I was twenty in 1913... well let's just say by the end of our four years, I was lacking development. Eventually my peers started to get wrinkles and even my own mother started to look different, but at the time I thought that normal, I was just lucky. However my eyes started to turn white completely, but I never went blind or lost vision, starting the first wave of many in insults over me and my oddness. I also noticed at times, when startled or emotional, that things would tend to move, which made me very confused, I chalked it up to my distress.
It wasn't until I went 33 that I started to get questions and ask them of myself, "You're 33? You look like a kid!" "What products do you use?" "Are you old enough to be a Vet?" and to every question I would respond that yes, I was old enough, I'm 33 years old, but I would always get the looks and questions. My Mother asked me if I ever got medical treatments done to myself, but I never had and told her as such, and she seemed placated, but always speculative. Time passed and as my hair grew longer and remained thick as ever, my peers whom I once went to school with, especially the other guys, started to lose theirs, earning grey streaks here and there. All but one guy, who up till then I never really thought about, as he and I did a project in an English class and got along fairly well, but I never really spoke to him again. He too seemed to remain how he was when he and I did that project together, 13 years before, but he and I never crossed paths, as he was in construction as a foreman I believe and myself a Veterinarian.
At last, by the age of 55, I was nearly mobbed by the entire town, as you see, our community was relatively small, in regards to my as they put it "unhuman" physical looks for my age. I genuinely had no answers, no solutions for their questions and problems, as I myself wondered why I never changed along with the rest of them. It pained me to see them all grow old, have kids, to even see some pass away from various ailments, while I looked the same and never got sick. At the time, folklore and suspicion was predominant, so when I was unable to produce answers for them, they proclaimed me a Vampire and that I must leave the town at once, lest they burn me. Even though they'd clearly seen me out and about in the full embrace of the sun's rays.
I was scared and so confused and to make matters worse, my own mother was dying at the hands of time, her poor body unable to keep up with the rest of her any longer. I tried to see her, to console and share my love with her, but they would never allow me into the building, stating that I intended to turn her and that the only reason I wasn't killed, was because of my contributions and history with the community. They turned me away, with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and told me to leave and never come back, forcing me out of the walls of our community and turning their backs on me. I sat on the outskirts, crying, scared and heartbroken, the Trees tossing their leaves to and fro, which in retrospect I realized was my doing, as it was a windless evening.
That is, until a Wolf, quite larger than average, came upon me and watched me for a few minutes, before approaching me slowly. Already scared and alone, I instinctively backed away from the potential predator, only to have it growl at me, as if it wanted me to stay. Figuring if old age hasn't caught up to me yet, neither will I let this predator, I tossed caution and reason to the windless night and ran for my life. To my shock, the animal never persued, but had I looked back, I'm sure my entire life would've flipped upsidedown.
I ran for a long time,travelling by boat possibly for 3 or 4 days with little to eat, coming upon another town on a new land it seems, this one larger than my own, however this being my first time outside of my town, I didn't know the name of this one, but none the less sought refuge in it, offering my services as a Veterinarian and Doctor. It was slow, but eventually I managed to settle into this new town, however I had to lie about my eyes and say that they got a dust in them and left my sight, but took their colour. It seemed to go over fairly well with the locals.
~Chapter End~
~Chapter 2~
I was fine, despite my mother passing away alone and leaving me with intense anger over my treatment at my own town, but one night, as I lay in my modest bed in my modest home near the edge of the not so modest town, there was a loud banging noise, as if my door was pushed down onto the ground as it was from that direction, so grabbing my bat, I slowly neared the origin of the sound and I heard rough breathing, as if though whoever it was, had exerted alot of energy. As I came upon the entryway, my suspicions were correct about the door being brought down to the floor, however, standing on the door that now served as a mat as well, was a wolf, but not just any wolf, the same one that had come to me after my banishment two months prior.
It should've been odd to me, as to how this animal, lacking the constitution to even barge down a door, managed to do so, regardless of it's abnormal size, however I could only focus on the eyes and how they seemed to just look at mine and connect to me somehow. It never made to attack me, it didn't seem afraid even, it was as if though it was visiting an old friend it'd not seen in a while. For a while we stood there, not breaking eye contact, until a neighbor of mine Caleb, a man about my physical age, however much more muscular came through the door at the back of the house, which was closer to his home behind mine, to see what the commotion was about and immediately went about chasing off the wolf, practically throwing me behind him.
I'm still not sure, but it almost seemed as if though that act of him protecting me, seemed to bring out the animal in the wolf, it's personality flipped, producing a snarling beast, claws and fangs at the ready. My neighbor Caleb took the bat from me and went after the wolf, and although I was scared, I made a vow upon learning Medicine, that I was meant to help and heal, not to harm, so went to stop him, shooting out my hand and sent him flying over the wolf's large frame. The only problem was... I'd never even touched him. As if noticing this, the Wolf looked back from Caleb, who unfortunately hit a tree , to me with almost human shock on it's wolvish face, which shocked me, but not more than realizing I had sent a man twice my build flying like a paper jet.
Getting more worked up, I started to notice things floating out of their respective places and this further made me scared and confused, to which I then noticed the wolf coming toward me again, only to have him stop abruptly as the floating objects turned in it's direction. It looked at me for a moment and then took off over the wall to the right of my home, avoiding an unconcious Caleb, and disappeared into the night. Sensing no more danger, I let out a breath and at once all the things that were floating to a swift descent. It took me a minute or two, but I finally went out to Caleb, who was only dressed in his night pants and was sporting a slight bruise on his forehead. Feeling responsible, which I was, I took him inside, which was a challenge seeing as how he was practically two of me size wise, and laid him down on my modest sofa, having his feet dangle over the edge of one end and immediately started treating his bruise with some herbs from around the town, lacking any professional medical equipment in the house.
A few days later, Caleb, after collecting some plants for me, as I had let him stay with me for the duration of his recuperation so that I could keep an eye on his bruise, did something I had never experienced in my 55 going on 56 years. He made to bed me! It happened that evening, after storing the wood in the shed behind the house, I was in bed, contemplating things, most predominately my age and my appearance, when Caleb made his way into my bedroom. As was normal I discovered, dressed only in his pants and shoes, leaving his muscular torso bare to the world, and made his approach toward me, but something was different about him, about the look in his eyes. I saw it many a time in my fellow male peers eyes in school when they would make passes and flirtatious advances on the girls, but did Caleb not realize I was a male as well? I could admit, my long hair, hairless face and slim build could maybe confuse some, but Caleb knew full well that I was a male, so I was myself confused.
I had heard of men who sometimes liked to have fun with each other, but I never felt that way for men or women, so I wouldn't know what Caleb saw in me, what made him think I would reciprocate, but as he made his way toward me, and proceeded to lay himself over me, his hands on either side of my head, I made to push him off. I tried to politely refuse him, but he only tried harder and claimed that he saw how I looked at him and his body and that he liked it and liked how pretty I was, to which I was very shocked by. Pretty was a word for girls... never the less, I pushed him harder, but he then used his greater physical strength to try to force me to comply, it seemed out of desperation and as one of his hands slipped south, something in me snapped and he flew off the bed and off of me consequentially. He landed on the floor at the foot of my bed and looked up at me astonished, most likely due to the fact that he was much larger and stronger than myself, but I merely told him, that he must go, I was not interested in him that way. He made to move toward me again, but I held up my hand, and told him to leave, and that I wouldn't tell anyone. He looked shamed, but gathered himself up and made his way back to his modest home behind my one.
From that point on, I made certain to not allow men into my home in such a way, to prevent such an occurance from happening again. I also made it my goal to learn how to utilize these strange abilities I seem to have, as they could be used for defense against such occurances. I practiced in my home, every day after finishing my work, I would lock myself away in my home and take the spoons and forks and try to use them as I would with my hands, only without them. Over the years, I managed to get this ability under control, writing without the use of my hands, washing dishes, cleaning the house, even fixing things I could not reach or physically manage. It was quite odd, but as I hoped, very useful... if only my own people had not rejected me, I could've helped them with it.
~Chapter End~
~Chapter 3~
It was on my 75th Birthday, that I officially gave up hope of ever aging, as even Caleb, who looked my physical age when I arrived, was now looking a good deal older than myself and he had even found himself a wife and had 2 children, a boy and a girl, both 10 years of age, and Caleb was only 40. He still yearned for me, he always asked and made passes, and even more so now than back then, I had to refuse him, as he now had a wife and 2 children to think about, and I told him as such. He was ever curious as to how I managed to look the exact same as I did 20 years prior, and I gave him the excuse of good genes.
1968, It was now a period of time where things were alittle bit more liberal, people were now openly fornicating with one another, with no discrimination of sex either, it was shocking to watch, as only in my 75 years, had things gone from being sheltered and hush hush, with everything being either a witch, demon or alien, fastforward to now, where people are much more mellowed, openly loving and carefree. Possibly due to the spike in drug usage, but that never appealed to me really. It was due to this I think, that had emboldened Caleb to make advances toward me, as he was no longer as scared or ashamed to find love and interest in me. However I just was not very interested, much to his dismay. It hurt him deeply that I never gave him a chance and I do believe he actually loved me, I would often see him as he did his yard work, stop and watch me with longing and those were the times when I truely felt bad, as I could see his love then, but I would always look past him into the kitchen where his wife stood, watching him watching me. He would ask me to hang out at the bar after work, or if I needed help with any house work, but as always I'd tell him that I was fine and to go home to his wife and 2 gorgeous children.
I had been there when he and his wife had brought them home, on my 65th Birthday to boot, but to them it was my 30th which I really didn't feel needed they needed to be corrected on. We had a big celebration, of both mine and the kids birthdays, and I got to hold the kids, and he looked at me, as if he wished I was his wife, rather than his neighbor and that these were our kids and I think then his Wife knew it, as she looked between us oddly. I was there for every birthday, spoiling them, giving them fun toys, and telling them about the fairies in the forest and about how only good kids get visited by them. Caleb's daughter, Alexandra would always try to do my hair in funny styles and her twin brother Caleb jr., was just like his dad, always wanting to build stuff and try to be tough. It made me sad to think I myself had no children, but being in the company of them gave me a taste of what it was like.
It happened one night, the unthinkable. I was sleeping soundly, when all of a sudden, there was a great deal of shouting from across the way at Caleb's house. It woke me quickly and I made to put on my slippers and rushed to their home in my pajamas. As per normal, Caleb was in only his night pants, but he was not walking straight and was very angry it seems and I then noticed his wife standing at the door yelling at him, to which he responded in kind and kept on his path towards my home. At which point he noticed me near the door and broke down and came even faster toward me, stumbling all the while. Not knowing what to do or what was going on, I went to meet him half way, immediately getting the breath squeezed out of me by his hug, his body hot against mine and his weight bearing on me, nearly toppling us over. In an effort to understand what was going on, I pulled back from him and inquired as to what was wrong, why were he and his wife arguing at nearly two in the morning.
He told me, he said he told her he couldn't live a lie anymore, and that he only wanted me, that she and the kids were his mistakes, he did it for appearances and only ever wanted me and that he couldn't take the pain any more. I was fully astonished and extremely well aware of him groping me and trying to carry me back inside my home, but I made him stop with this strange ability I had, forcing him to listen, which confused his inebriated brain. I told him, I loved him dearly, as a neighbor, a friend, perhaps even family, but sadly not as a lover, I just did not find anyone desirable, as strange as that may be, even to myself. I told him the real mistake was saying those things to his wife and that he should go back and try to reconcile with her, that those kids need their father. He looked at me, slow understanding of yet another one of my rejections of him and he stepped back, looking so very hurt, I could not help but see it, but stood resolute. Whether or not he loved me and his family was a mistake or not, the fact remains that he has a family to care for, and that his love for me is not reciprocated in kind.
He merely looked at me, defeated it seems and stumbled off into the night, even as I and his wife, who had heard us, called out after him, but he did not return. It wasn't until days later, after frantic searching by both myself and his wife, and the collective efforts of the towns people, did we find him, but it was not what we were hoping for. Caleb appearantly had traversed into the forest some ways out and tossed himself into the lake nearby and was only found by some fishermen, floating face down... evidence of his drowning. This caused immense grief in not only myself, but his wife and confused children, but to know that he done this, because I had refused him, made me feel guilty and extremely upset. What's worse, he was only just 40 years old, a young father of two gorgeous children and a lovely wife. All ended because I could not and would not return his love to him...
~Chapter End~
[/COLOR]
This title may or may not seem familiar to you cupcakes, as I did a few poems under the same title, but this story doesn't have a whole lot to do with the poems really. They too were just free thought stuff. I don't really like to sit and plan, cause I like to change things up as I go :p.
So any who, I suppose I will share it with y'all. It's no where near finished and It's not on my agenda to like write a book and all that, but I figured it might be an interesting read if nothing else. And there are probably a shit ton of weird phrasings and words that probably might not make sense to you, I do not claim to be the most proficient user of the English Language in the Standard form, we all know this. But hopefully if you read it, it makes sense to ya <3 .
Here we gooooooooooooo
[COLOR="Blue"]To Which is Felt, but Never Seen
~Prologue~
I...I used to think once a upon a time ago, that this was just a phase, that it'd go away, that I would stop caring...noticing...hurting. But it seems this is just how it is for me, I've been given this "gift" and simply am not allowed to return to sender. I often wondered why I was different, why everyone else was the same, why they couldn't accept my difference, but now... I only wonder why I even care anymore. The only person who ever cared... understood...loved me as I was, was taken from me, for what we could do. For what he was, for what I am. For what we aren't. I've been waiting for him, as I'm sure he's been looking for me, so I figured this would pass the time... after all...we have alot of it.
~Chapter 1~
Oh yes, I'm 120 and I'll be 121 in October next year, but it's not like that's unusual or anything. At first, it was okay, it wasn't noticeable, but after I started College for the first time, when I was twenty in 1913... well let's just say by the end of our four years, I was lacking development. Eventually my peers started to get wrinkles and even my own mother started to look different, but at the time I thought that normal, I was just lucky. However my eyes started to turn white completely, but I never went blind or lost vision, starting the first wave of many in insults over me and my oddness. I also noticed at times, when startled or emotional, that things would tend to move, which made me very confused, I chalked it up to my distress.
It wasn't until I went 33 that I started to get questions and ask them of myself, "You're 33? You look like a kid!" "What products do you use?" "Are you old enough to be a Vet?" and to every question I would respond that yes, I was old enough, I'm 33 years old, but I would always get the looks and questions. My Mother asked me if I ever got medical treatments done to myself, but I never had and told her as such, and she seemed placated, but always speculative. Time passed and as my hair grew longer and remained thick as ever, my peers whom I once went to school with, especially the other guys, started to lose theirs, earning grey streaks here and there. All but one guy, who up till then I never really thought about, as he and I did a project in an English class and got along fairly well, but I never really spoke to him again. He too seemed to remain how he was when he and I did that project together, 13 years before, but he and I never crossed paths, as he was in construction as a foreman I believe and myself a Veterinarian.
At last, by the age of 55, I was nearly mobbed by the entire town, as you see, our community was relatively small, in regards to my as they put it "unhuman" physical looks for my age. I genuinely had no answers, no solutions for their questions and problems, as I myself wondered why I never changed along with the rest of them. It pained me to see them all grow old, have kids, to even see some pass away from various ailments, while I looked the same and never got sick. At the time, folklore and suspicion was predominant, so when I was unable to produce answers for them, they proclaimed me a Vampire and that I must leave the town at once, lest they burn me. Even though they'd clearly seen me out and about in the full embrace of the sun's rays.
I was scared and so confused and to make matters worse, my own mother was dying at the hands of time, her poor body unable to keep up with the rest of her any longer. I tried to see her, to console and share my love with her, but they would never allow me into the building, stating that I intended to turn her and that the only reason I wasn't killed, was because of my contributions and history with the community. They turned me away, with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and told me to leave and never come back, forcing me out of the walls of our community and turning their backs on me. I sat on the outskirts, crying, scared and heartbroken, the Trees tossing their leaves to and fro, which in retrospect I realized was my doing, as it was a windless evening.
That is, until a Wolf, quite larger than average, came upon me and watched me for a few minutes, before approaching me slowly. Already scared and alone, I instinctively backed away from the potential predator, only to have it growl at me, as if it wanted me to stay. Figuring if old age hasn't caught up to me yet, neither will I let this predator, I tossed caution and reason to the windless night and ran for my life. To my shock, the animal never persued, but had I looked back, I'm sure my entire life would've flipped upsidedown.
I ran for a long time,travelling by boat possibly for 3 or 4 days with little to eat, coming upon another town on a new land it seems, this one larger than my own, however this being my first time outside of my town, I didn't know the name of this one, but none the less sought refuge in it, offering my services as a Veterinarian and Doctor. It was slow, but eventually I managed to settle into this new town, however I had to lie about my eyes and say that they got a dust in them and left my sight, but took their colour. It seemed to go over fairly well with the locals.
~Chapter End~
~Chapter 2~
I was fine, despite my mother passing away alone and leaving me with intense anger over my treatment at my own town, but one night, as I lay in my modest bed in my modest home near the edge of the not so modest town, there was a loud banging noise, as if my door was pushed down onto the ground as it was from that direction, so grabbing my bat, I slowly neared the origin of the sound and I heard rough breathing, as if though whoever it was, had exerted alot of energy. As I came upon the entryway, my suspicions were correct about the door being brought down to the floor, however, standing on the door that now served as a mat as well, was a wolf, but not just any wolf, the same one that had come to me after my banishment two months prior.
It should've been odd to me, as to how this animal, lacking the constitution to even barge down a door, managed to do so, regardless of it's abnormal size, however I could only focus on the eyes and how they seemed to just look at mine and connect to me somehow. It never made to attack me, it didn't seem afraid even, it was as if though it was visiting an old friend it'd not seen in a while. For a while we stood there, not breaking eye contact, until a neighbor of mine Caleb, a man about my physical age, however much more muscular came through the door at the back of the house, which was closer to his home behind mine, to see what the commotion was about and immediately went about chasing off the wolf, practically throwing me behind him.
I'm still not sure, but it almost seemed as if though that act of him protecting me, seemed to bring out the animal in the wolf, it's personality flipped, producing a snarling beast, claws and fangs at the ready. My neighbor Caleb took the bat from me and went after the wolf, and although I was scared, I made a vow upon learning Medicine, that I was meant to help and heal, not to harm, so went to stop him, shooting out my hand and sent him flying over the wolf's large frame. The only problem was... I'd never even touched him. As if noticing this, the Wolf looked back from Caleb, who unfortunately hit a tree , to me with almost human shock on it's wolvish face, which shocked me, but not more than realizing I had sent a man twice my build flying like a paper jet.
Getting more worked up, I started to notice things floating out of their respective places and this further made me scared and confused, to which I then noticed the wolf coming toward me again, only to have him stop abruptly as the floating objects turned in it's direction. It looked at me for a moment and then took off over the wall to the right of my home, avoiding an unconcious Caleb, and disappeared into the night. Sensing no more danger, I let out a breath and at once all the things that were floating to a swift descent. It took me a minute or two, but I finally went out to Caleb, who was only dressed in his night pants and was sporting a slight bruise on his forehead. Feeling responsible, which I was, I took him inside, which was a challenge seeing as how he was practically two of me size wise, and laid him down on my modest sofa, having his feet dangle over the edge of one end and immediately started treating his bruise with some herbs from around the town, lacking any professional medical equipment in the house.
A few days later, Caleb, after collecting some plants for me, as I had let him stay with me for the duration of his recuperation so that I could keep an eye on his bruise, did something I had never experienced in my 55 going on 56 years. He made to bed me! It happened that evening, after storing the wood in the shed behind the house, I was in bed, contemplating things, most predominately my age and my appearance, when Caleb made his way into my bedroom. As was normal I discovered, dressed only in his pants and shoes, leaving his muscular torso bare to the world, and made his approach toward me, but something was different about him, about the look in his eyes. I saw it many a time in my fellow male peers eyes in school when they would make passes and flirtatious advances on the girls, but did Caleb not realize I was a male as well? I could admit, my long hair, hairless face and slim build could maybe confuse some, but Caleb knew full well that I was a male, so I was myself confused.
I had heard of men who sometimes liked to have fun with each other, but I never felt that way for men or women, so I wouldn't know what Caleb saw in me, what made him think I would reciprocate, but as he made his way toward me, and proceeded to lay himself over me, his hands on either side of my head, I made to push him off. I tried to politely refuse him, but he only tried harder and claimed that he saw how I looked at him and his body and that he liked it and liked how pretty I was, to which I was very shocked by. Pretty was a word for girls... never the less, I pushed him harder, but he then used his greater physical strength to try to force me to comply, it seemed out of desperation and as one of his hands slipped south, something in me snapped and he flew off the bed and off of me consequentially. He landed on the floor at the foot of my bed and looked up at me astonished, most likely due to the fact that he was much larger and stronger than myself, but I merely told him, that he must go, I was not interested in him that way. He made to move toward me again, but I held up my hand, and told him to leave, and that I wouldn't tell anyone. He looked shamed, but gathered himself up and made his way back to his modest home behind my one.
From that point on, I made certain to not allow men into my home in such a way, to prevent such an occurance from happening again. I also made it my goal to learn how to utilize these strange abilities I seem to have, as they could be used for defense against such occurances. I practiced in my home, every day after finishing my work, I would lock myself away in my home and take the spoons and forks and try to use them as I would with my hands, only without them. Over the years, I managed to get this ability under control, writing without the use of my hands, washing dishes, cleaning the house, even fixing things I could not reach or physically manage. It was quite odd, but as I hoped, very useful... if only my own people had not rejected me, I could've helped them with it.
~Chapter End~
~Chapter 3~
It was on my 75th Birthday, that I officially gave up hope of ever aging, as even Caleb, who looked my physical age when I arrived, was now looking a good deal older than myself and he had even found himself a wife and had 2 children, a boy and a girl, both 10 years of age, and Caleb was only 40. He still yearned for me, he always asked and made passes, and even more so now than back then, I had to refuse him, as he now had a wife and 2 children to think about, and I told him as such. He was ever curious as to how I managed to look the exact same as I did 20 years prior, and I gave him the excuse of good genes.
1968, It was now a period of time where things were alittle bit more liberal, people were now openly fornicating with one another, with no discrimination of sex either, it was shocking to watch, as only in my 75 years, had things gone from being sheltered and hush hush, with everything being either a witch, demon or alien, fastforward to now, where people are much more mellowed, openly loving and carefree. Possibly due to the spike in drug usage, but that never appealed to me really. It was due to this I think, that had emboldened Caleb to make advances toward me, as he was no longer as scared or ashamed to find love and interest in me. However I just was not very interested, much to his dismay. It hurt him deeply that I never gave him a chance and I do believe he actually loved me, I would often see him as he did his yard work, stop and watch me with longing and those were the times when I truely felt bad, as I could see his love then, but I would always look past him into the kitchen where his wife stood, watching him watching me. He would ask me to hang out at the bar after work, or if I needed help with any house work, but as always I'd tell him that I was fine and to go home to his wife and 2 gorgeous children.
I had been there when he and his wife had brought them home, on my 65th Birthday to boot, but to them it was my 30th which I really didn't feel needed they needed to be corrected on. We had a big celebration, of both mine and the kids birthdays, and I got to hold the kids, and he looked at me, as if he wished I was his wife, rather than his neighbor and that these were our kids and I think then his Wife knew it, as she looked between us oddly. I was there for every birthday, spoiling them, giving them fun toys, and telling them about the fairies in the forest and about how only good kids get visited by them. Caleb's daughter, Alexandra would always try to do my hair in funny styles and her twin brother Caleb jr., was just like his dad, always wanting to build stuff and try to be tough. It made me sad to think I myself had no children, but being in the company of them gave me a taste of what it was like.
It happened one night, the unthinkable. I was sleeping soundly, when all of a sudden, there was a great deal of shouting from across the way at Caleb's house. It woke me quickly and I made to put on my slippers and rushed to their home in my pajamas. As per normal, Caleb was in only his night pants, but he was not walking straight and was very angry it seems and I then noticed his wife standing at the door yelling at him, to which he responded in kind and kept on his path towards my home. At which point he noticed me near the door and broke down and came even faster toward me, stumbling all the while. Not knowing what to do or what was going on, I went to meet him half way, immediately getting the breath squeezed out of me by his hug, his body hot against mine and his weight bearing on me, nearly toppling us over. In an effort to understand what was going on, I pulled back from him and inquired as to what was wrong, why were he and his wife arguing at nearly two in the morning.
He told me, he said he told her he couldn't live a lie anymore, and that he only wanted me, that she and the kids were his mistakes, he did it for appearances and only ever wanted me and that he couldn't take the pain any more. I was fully astonished and extremely well aware of him groping me and trying to carry me back inside my home, but I made him stop with this strange ability I had, forcing him to listen, which confused his inebriated brain. I told him, I loved him dearly, as a neighbor, a friend, perhaps even family, but sadly not as a lover, I just did not find anyone desirable, as strange as that may be, even to myself. I told him the real mistake was saying those things to his wife and that he should go back and try to reconcile with her, that those kids need their father. He looked at me, slow understanding of yet another one of my rejections of him and he stepped back, looking so very hurt, I could not help but see it, but stood resolute. Whether or not he loved me and his family was a mistake or not, the fact remains that he has a family to care for, and that his love for me is not reciprocated in kind.
He merely looked at me, defeated it seems and stumbled off into the night, even as I and his wife, who had heard us, called out after him, but he did not return. It wasn't until days later, after frantic searching by both myself and his wife, and the collective efforts of the towns people, did we find him, but it was not what we were hoping for. Caleb appearantly had traversed into the forest some ways out and tossed himself into the lake nearby and was only found by some fishermen, floating face down... evidence of his drowning. This caused immense grief in not only myself, but his wife and confused children, but to know that he done this, because I had refused him, made me feel guilty and extremely upset. What's worse, he was only just 40 years old, a young father of two gorgeous children and a lovely wife. All ended because I could not and would not return his love to him...
~Chapter End~
[/COLOR]