Caught him in the toilet

[L18amd]

Hi guys

Need some help will just tell the story as it happened and let you guys tell me what you think

So background .... I'm 23 he's 30 met in march of this year started going out 3 months ago we are really into each other I am happy we both work away and we are working on that problem but we see each other often enough I am completely happy with him

I am 23 sorted good job happy sensible guy happy go easy just wants to have a good time a little insecure have my worries been cheated on In the past never really been in a relationship where I could say I truly loved someone till now...

He is 30 party animal enjoys a little bit of a party pick me up now and again... He has calmed down with the drink since I met him but he still enjoys a bucket and good time now and again I have no problems with this what so ever he has a good job and a nice car and is about to buy a house.

My moral is to try and keep him happy and in turn I hope this keeps me happy. I literal do anything for him he makes me that happy

The only thing I'd like to stress is this guys makes me happy or I would have walked away

So we were out last Saturday we started of at 2 of his locals with his friends had a really good time a tiny argument meant nothing at all we then headed into town to the gay bar area we went into a few place we went I to this bar I went to the bar to get drinks I looked round to see him charting away to this other gay guy..... This only bothered me slightly but I wasn't going to say anything when I paid for the drinks I looked round the both of them were heading for the toliets downstairs as soon as I paid the drinks I left them and went storming down to the guys toliets there was no one there I then Went into the female toliets one of the cubicals was locked I burst it open to find them both in there. I didn't catch them doing anything. I then punched the guys he was with and slapped my boyfriend as hard as I could before running out the toilet I ran to the top of stairs believeing I just caught him cheating he came with me outside and we walked back to his he said he was getting my stuff and I was leaving to go to my place.it became apparent that he was only doing some coke with this guy and all my friends have said the same thing they believe it was only coke.... however they all said I reacted exactly how they would have .....

I finished it that night and after a heated argument tears crying I stayed the night and the next day after loads of deliberation I decided to go back with him he swears it was only drugs and nothing Happend cheating ways. He was pleading with me to go back with him.

So I will give him the benefit of the doubt that it is only a bit of coke

My question is

How would you react?
How do I move on from this as it still hurts me?
Did I do anything wrong?
Am I being stupid
Am I wrong to be feeling the way I am?

Just give me all your thoughts please guys thanks a lot for reading...

Liam x

[L18amd]

Cheers andy

[Rawr]

How would you react?
From reading the title, I instantly thought you were going to catch your boyfriend cheating on you in a cubicle. But by the end of the story, I did think he may have just been going to snort some coke with another person. This happens a lot in my local unfortunately, so I'm kinda of used to it happening. However, from your point of view I would have been thinking the same thing. I don't know if I would have stormed in though, I may have waited a minute or two to see how long they took. It may have also been a good idea to take a seat in the next cubicle and listen out to see what they were up to. Not one to snoop, but I think that it would be acceptable in this case.

How do I move on from this as it still hurts me?
Perhaps try and talk it out with your Boyfriend, get your emotions out. Hopefully posting here and the responses you will get will help.

Did I do anything wrong?
In a blind rage you may have went in a little head first, But I don't blame you for doing that. As I said, it may have been better to go into the next cubicle and have a listen first. If I'm honest I was kinda hoping you'd burst in and there would just be some random using the toilet, questioning why you burst in.

Am I being stupid
Yes, but that's because your human, and unfortunately all human are stupid. In serious though, you're not being that stupid, more smart then dumb. Did a good thing posting this so you can get it off your chest.

Am I wrong to be feeling the way I am?
Not at all.

[L18amd]

You got your head screwed on I like the way you think :-)

[Sylph]

Well you might not like the way my head is screwed on, cause it hardly ever is.

First of all, whether it be for whatever black ass reason, your man needs to realize, that pulling a Houdini on you while you're out and about anywhere, is not okay. Communication is not just a degree in college.

Secondly, you needs to realize if your man has these habits and what not, you need to decide whether or not the lifestyle you both seem to be intimate with, is one you can deal with.

If my boyfriend did coke, and I was okay with it, I would just have to get the fuck over the fact he has to go in the back with his other coke friends, because thats actually respectful to the other patrons. You cant expect him to lay out his coke over the table and sniff a couple rounds.

It also means you need to trust him alittle more, because this will most likely happen again, whether you're together or not, so like I said, you need to decide if his lifestyle, which will most likely and unfortunately require him to "hide" in the back, is one you are okay with and can build your relationship on.

[southbiochem]

How would you react?

If I was dealing with a party animal prone to hook-ups I would have probably thought the exact same thing you did....however I have never been the type to be blinded by rage and throw punches..I would have probably stand quiet listening and even if he had been cheating on me I would have given an indifferent stare and then walked way...

How do I move on from this as it still hurts me?

As you said, he's toning it down, so first you need to have a good talk with him about your insecurites, exmplain where they come from. Yuou'll just might find heps understanding..

Did I do anything wrong?

Acting out of rage is never good..

Am I being stupid

I hate to be the one that brings this up........IMHO and don't be offended, only in dating a guy that does drugs...coke is a very detrimental stuff no matter how good it makes you feel....

if it doesn't take his life eventually, I'll be surprised,

if it doesn't end up really bad, as coke costs money, I'll be surprised...

that said..to each it's own..I suppose

Am I wrong to be feeling the way I am?

No, but you do need to learn to trust and work on these issues if you hope to have a healthy relationship

[MisterTinkles]

First off, I would NEVER EVER put up with drug use. Drugs are for losers, and drugs make those losers not care about anything........disease, cheating, honesty......they just dont give a shit.

You are stupid for staying this long. You are only dragging yourself down with this creep.

[Dreamer]

My question is

How would you react?
How do I move on from this as it still hurts me?
Did I do anything wrong?
Am I being stupid
Am I wrong to be feeling the way I am?

I applaud your swift and productive approach
in which you'd rained on his toilet parade.

A little coke, but he didn't cheat?
That's a bullshit way of thinking!

You're reaction was even more justified,
in my opinion.

Personally, I would had made sure to have broken his coke-stuffed nose!

He's 30 years old.
He needs to get his act together,
and grow the fuck up!


You did nothing wrong!


Break up with that loser,
and move the fuck on!


You're feelings are totally justified,
and I hope this scenario gives you the guidance to cut him off.


Boozing, snorting coke....
and whatever else he may be doing behind your back...


He's bad news,
and you reacted the way you did
because you know, deep down,
that you deserve better than that.


You can't save him from himself,
so don't waste your time trying,
as he'll just drag you down with him.

[Anonymous]

First off, I would NEVER EVER put up with drug use. Drugs are for losers, and drugs make those losers not care about anything........disease, cheating, honesty......they just dont give a shit.

You are stupid for staying this long. You are only dragging yourself down with this creep.

This. Drugs are never good in a relationship. Had an ex that was a coke addict, I dated him a couple times before finding out. Also found out that during the dates he would hookup with random guys after for drug money. Not fun.

[Joshular]

I agree with what Tinks said!