Sex in Open Relationships

[philsguy95]

I would never partake in an open relationship, but I don't judge those who do. In fact, the questions I have about the dynamics in such a relationship are innumerable. For those who are in or who have been in open relationships, what is the role of sex in the relationship? Is there an emotional component only felt with the actual partner, or is sex simply a physical act regardless of whether you are with your relationship partner or someone else? Is there a switch that gets turned on or off or is there an underlying belief on sex being entirely separate from love and it's the emotional intimacy expressed outside of sex that matters? If that makes sense...

[Undreamt]

I'm happy to answer any questions.

The role of sex i don't think is all that different from that of a monogamous relationship its just that there is acknowledgement that there can be different types of sex.

It can be intimate, but it doesn't have to be.

Love is completely separate from everything, if someone needs sex as a thing to show their partner that they you love them, then I pity their partner.

[Undreamt]

Also just to add,

If you want sex, does it mean more if you are fooling around with your partner because they are the only person you are allowed to have sex with, or if you can have sex with anyone and you choose to make love to your partner?

[HumbleTangerine]

I've never been in such an arrangement myself but I don't think people who have necessarily have to see sex and love as completely distinct. However, I believe people in open relationships believe that they CAN be, which is more or less obvious. Most people who aren't in relationships still have occasional one-night-stands and it would be ridiculous to assume you have to love someone to sleep with them.

I can't say for sure but I bet people in open relationships make love to their partners and have sex with other people.

I'm actually in a position where I'd like to have an open relationship, mainly because I'd appreciate the freedom of it. I've never been in a relationship prior to this one and I'm feeling almost a little restrained... I know, however, that my boyfriend would never agree with such a thing so I'll just accept that I guess.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Most people who aren't in relationships still have occasional one-night-stands and it would be ridiculous to assume you have to love someone to sleep with them.

Oh thanks for calling me ridiculous there kid.

To me sex is an extension of the whole love thing - I did try one night stands (twice) and found it completely untenable, unsatisfying. "just sex" - I don't see it as 'just sex' nor 'meaningless'.

So to be fair, since like you I don't do open relationships, I can only assume its because they are soulless creatures who have no love and stuff and sex is just a primal driving force that they do without meaning or thought.:eek:

Hmm.... perhaps we should leave this one to those who do do open relationships and we should all stop assuming what others who do or don't do actually think/believe since this is bound to not end well if we all keep assuming each other.

[HumbleTangerine]

Oh thanks for calling me ridiculous there kid.

To me sex is an extension of the whole love thing - I did try one night stands (twice) and found it completely untenable, unsatisfying. "just sex" - I don't see it as 'just sex' nor 'meaningless'.

So to be fair, since like you I don't do open relationships, I can only assume its because they are soulless creatures who have no love and stuff and sex is just a primal driving force that they do without meaning or thought.:eek:

Hmm.... perhaps we should leave this one to those who do do open relationships and we should all stop assuming what others who do or don't do actually think/believe since this is bound to not end well if we all keep assuming each other.

Nah, you're misunderstanding me. Not that I blame you or anything, I phrased that one kind of poorly. What I meant was "given that occasional one-night-stands are common and accepted amongst singles it's obvious that love isn't a component necessary for sex." It's very much possible to have sex without any love being involved regardless of whether a person wants to or not

[Undreamt]

I'm not soulless

I just see sex with other people as an opportunity to learn new things or have different experiences that I could not have if i was exclusively with my partner.

And when i'm having sex with my bf i'm focused on him and making sure he gets the most out of it. When i'm having sex with other people I can be selfish and focus on my desires.

[philsguy95]

Well, technically speaking you COULD have sex with anyone, and you choose to make love to your partner if you're in a monogamous relationship, but that's semantics. lol I see what you're saying.