For My Custodian

[Jovial]

I am walking in a haunted land
full of voices.
Too many voices
and not enough faces to claim them.

I am disturbed by so many shadows.
No sun to make them.
Not even a moon to erase them.

I am drowning in waters
full of corpses.
Each one pulling me down
into the darkness.

Trapped in a well of raging night,
joy has lost all meaning here.
Claw marks on these walls of stone,
sign my fate away…

[southbiochem]

Not everything is always as bad as it seems, my dear Jas...

fight on....we are here to pull you back up...mile:

P.S: someone should really think about publishing you

[Vigilias]

Needs dragons and unicorns.

[Jovial]

By far the darkest piece I have ever written. Creativity is playing off my depression in a completely different light than I am used to. The things I thought up that night... would make your hair stand on end...

Needs dragons and unicorns.

I'll see what I can do...

[southbiochem]

By far the darkest piece I have ever written. Creativity is playing off my depression in a completely different light than I am used to. The things I thought up that night... would make your hair stand on end.....

Try me....

I can deal with a lot of dark thinking....

I'm listening...mile:

[MisterTinkles]

By far the darkest piece I have ever written. Creativity is playing off my depression in a completely different light than I am used to. The things I thought up that night... would make your hair stand on end...

Hmmmm.............

If you took a trip into my mind, you would see how happy you actually are.
There are things in my mind that would make your hair fall out, and your skin melt off you bones.

[HumbleTangerine]

Is this a "who's mind is the darkest contest" all of a sudden? It's surprising how many people really want to play and win that game, I never really understood why.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Jovial... That seems ironic.... Hmmmm

Where was I? Ah, This depression, is it cyclic, coming around every winter, or is it all the time?

If Cyclic you have Seasonal Affected Disorder and that is not typically treated with antidepressants, and from personal experience antidepressants can make it far worse.

Do you have a therapist? If no, then I strongly suggest you get one. Have a therapist (psychologist) work with you several sessions and help you figure out what form of depression you have. Never know, just working with a therapist and working with the tools that a therapist can give you may be all you need.

So if you have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist who talked with you for about 15 minutes and wrote a prescription for antidepressants and you find yourself feeling worse, its very possible that you are misdiagnosed and are being treated incorrectly.

Understand the further north one lives (or extremely south) the longer winters and shorter summers can make SAD last a lot longer than way down here in California where we have shorter winters. So it can be harder to tease out if the depression you have is SAD or not.

As for writing poetry or painting or composing music - or for that matter doing anything creative, pain is actually the foundation of most of the greatest works of art we have - and a touch of insanity as well. :tongue: So its not uncommon for their to be creative bursts in ones darkest hour.

[Jovial]

It’s unchartered ground… and I am no explorer.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

LOL - oh no that territory has been explored by many, many, many people. It would be more along the lines of if Lewis and Clark started their little journey of exploration in 1904 instead of 1804.

Trust me, you are not alone in your depression - it may feel like it, but you are not. Many others 'struggle' with it all the time - a lot of people know exactly where you are. You are not alone.