Is my boyfriend not sexually attracted to me???

[nykos5000]

Hello!

I need advice from you guys. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and I feel that relationship is going strong minus the sex. In the beginning, our sex was great and we both were really into it. Later on, the sex started to die and we talked about it but he blamed it on him not really wanting to bottom so often. I am a total top and he is vers. I've been overcoming me not wanting to bottom so I tried bottoming one morning and he didn't even get turned on or hard. He apologized and said he appreciated me trying but that was it.

Our sex has now dwindled to maybe once a month and most of the time he jacks off to porn afterwards. What also seems strange is that one day during brunch with friends, he got a random text message from a random number that was addressed to him by name. He swore he didn't know who it was and later on deleted the text.

This along with the sex makes me think he still loves and wants to be with me but has a side thing going on sexually because he's not sexually attracted to me. Am I paranoid or do I have a right to feel this way?? I do take a lot of his time so if he is cheating, the guy isn't getting much of his time... thanks for the advice!

[southbiochem]

There is something rather off about it...

but I'm afraid only he can answer that question

take up some courage, I know it's hard, but go ahead and ask him is he's not sexually attracted to you anymore..

sure, sex in relationships may dwindle overtime....the question is, would he be willing to spice things, up, to relive it?

Adress this issue before you find yourself to be correct and he resorts to cheating

[Arkansota]

Hello!

I need advice from you guys. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and I feel that relationship is going strong minus the sex. In the beginning, our sex was great and we both were really into it. Later on, the sex started to die and we talked about it but he blamed it on him not really wanting to bottom so often. I am a total top and he is vers. I've been overcoming me not wanting to bottom so I tried bottoming one morning and he didn't even get turned on or hard. He apologized and said he appreciated me trying but that was it.

Our sex has now dwindled to maybe once a month and most of the time he jacks off to porn afterwards. What also seems strange is that one day during brunch with friends, he got a random text message from a random number that was addressed to him by name. He swore he didn't know who it was and later on deleted the text.

This along with the sex makes me think he still loves and wants to be with me but has a side thing going on sexually because he's not sexually attracted to me. Am I paranoid or do I have a right to feel this way?? I do take a lot of his time so if he is cheating, the guy isn't getting much of his time... thanks for the advice!

Hello Nykos from SoCal, I'm Johnny from SoMin

Ummm you need to work on the sex because once a month is absolutely disastrous. Something is fishy.

[HumbleTangerine]

Sorry, but you're gonna have to talk to him about this. It's a really sad thing, but some people seem to inevitably grow bored with having the same sexual partner for an extended period of time. Good luck!

[Joshular]

TBH in the past when I've been in a relation ship I've needed sex before sleep and when I wake up after sleep u.u And then some.
sex is an important part of a relationship IMO.

[Beau]

To me sex is a gauge to the relationship. If sex has slowed to once a month, I'd be worried. I'd think your relationship is slowing down as well.

[Evan88]

Yup.. I think the best thing to do is ask him directly.

There might be something more alarming than the bad sex..

Communication is really the key to a harmonious relationship, so go talk to him about it..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It has been my experience that when the gut starts screaming 'Something just happened and it feels like _____________.' the gut is often correct.

Once a month after a year together, it works out to be about 'average' - Lots of things can affect sex drive, stress being one, work, being busy, life just flashing by at a mile per second.

So that is not to uncommon or way out of the nominal parameters of human relationships.

However that odd text message and how it makes you feel should be a clue that its time to talk.

There are methods to confront a situation without accusing. https://www.google.com/#q=how+to+confron...t+accusing lots of sites discuss this. I strongly suggest you read up on this topic a while so you can carefully confront this situation without directly accusing him of cheating.

Are you paranoid? Unknown, I would say no, because you have a short list of 'this happened' and it has lead to very valid feelings. Is your interpretation of what these events means wrong? Possibly, but what else can this circumstances be an indicator of?

Perhaps this is the way to approach the subject, list the incidences and ask him 'what does all of this mean?'.

Good luck.

[sitchblap]

He is just with you till something better comes along... That text was from someone he is talking to and he will leave you when its a stable relatikinship...

[Undreamt]

at the risk of getting shot down, ever thought of an open relationship?