Relationship advice

[Gurregori]

Maybe we could discuss retroactive Jealousy? My bf currently is mean and hateful and grumpy and depressed a lot...and I see pictures of his past ex's and he looks so happy and vibrant....it is DESTROYING any and all esteem I have and I hate bringing it up to him. /sigh why do I get this version of him? The logical explanation is its my fault. that I'm doing something wrong... its a cause of a lot of depression and anger for me.

[Story]

I'm not sure that the logical explanation is you. He chose to be with you, did he purposely pick you so you could bring him misery? Doubtful. Don't compare your relationship to previous ones. Its like comparing apples to oranges, sure they are both fruit but they are fundamentally different. You should figure out whats making him so constantly unhappy and see what you can do to help, you have to let him know you dont like seeing him this way and you want to be part of the solution. His current frustrations may have nothing to do with you and may be about issues with life in general or work.

[southbiochem]

.......I though I had replied to this already....

have you bothered to ask him why exactly is he grumpy and depressed?..

why do you assume it's because of you and not some other issue unrelated to you?

calm down, forget about the jealousy, don't make rush assumptions and ask him about it..

if he says something like "yes, I hate your guts" then find yourself another guy..

if it's something else, you can try and help him with it..

if he says it's his problem, let him know it's affecting you too..

communication...(a calmed one, please, don't go and accuse him of this or that) is the key to any healthy relationship..

bets of lucks

[Bravo]

southbiochem is right.

you can't blame yourself for his depression. as far as you told us, he seems to be the only one holding the real answer to your questions. he is the only one that can tell you the reason for his behaviour, so the best thing you can do is ask him.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Just because you see pictures of him smiling doesn't mean he was happy.

Seems to me that 'we' need therapy, we being you, him and both of you as a couple.

Start off with couple's counseling - the therapist will bring up individual counseling.