Ok... I'm 44, and am primarily a top for one specific reason.. bottoming hurts. I've been looking at a lot of forums and other "advice" sites to address this, but to no avail. You see, my discomfort is not from the width of the initial penetration.. breathing, relaxing, plenty of lube, etc seem to address that initial insert. My discomfort comes from the depth of penetration. I can really only take a couple inches before I start to feel intense pressure and discomfort.
Do I just need to stop again to adjust? Like with the initial penetration? I'll admit, the few tops I've experienced were not exactly patient! LOL! I've played with toys, and even with those, I can only go so far in before it becomes unpleasant.
I REALLY enjoy the sensation of insertion, and the idea of totally submitting and getting right fucked is a real turn on... But am I just not going to be able to? Anyone else experience this?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Yeah when I had a prostate infection being 'filled' was discomforting.
Not all guys have a prostate that likes massage or pressure, there are many in the world were it actually hurts.
Understand your arse ain't made for that activity. It can adapt, and most men have to have a regular toss in the hay to get to the point where it feels good instead of uncomfortable.
And toys are not dicks - the two are exclusive. There has yet to be a dildo made that responds like a man's dick - so really no sense in trying to get that experience with a toy....
•
It's not a matter of stretching it out. It's more a matter of getting the right angle. I am by no means an expert, but I have a 10 inch dildo w/2" diameter at widest point, which I used to insert all the way in with no trouble at all. I say used to. I can't even get it in at all now without it hurting. I have been involved with a woman for a couple years now, and haven't used my dildos. So I've found out, if you don't use it, you lose it.
Back to the point, when I say the right angle, it's not like taking aim. I think what happens is that your innards eventually get pushed around to where they can accept what's coming in. Before I acquired that ability, I used a 7 inch dildo, and if I wasn't careful it would hurt - a lot. Then after a few months, one night - wtf, omg - Not only did it slide all the way in, it was way deep inside there and it felt wonderful. I think it was a matter of getting past the sigmoid colon that made the difference. When I got the larger dildo, I was able to slide that one all the way in too - no additional adjustment needed. It was like once I got the angle set, no time was needed to set it up again. It didn't really matter whether I used a lot of lube either. Just enough to get past the sphincters.
So keep practicing, but don't go in past where it's comfortable, and remember you don't need to stretch it. It's actually plenty big in there, just needs to be re-arranged a little.
Hope this helps.
•
I was carefully taught that even though I would be a dominant top, to fully understand that, it was necessary to learn to be a superior bottom. Starting at age nine or ten I was carefully practiced in accepting insertion and learning how to work with the penis rather that regard it as an offensive weapon. Practicing to use the sphincter muscle and others to not only please others but control the situation (this would come to be called a "power bottom") was crucial. But the main lesson was to understand the feelings of a bottom and to learn to incorporate them into the whole act.
•
