Is topping generally better than bottoming?
07-01-2016, 01:55 AM
Hello. Your attention is important for me and you'll understand it after reading the following.
I have become very nervous since last year. But the reason of it is awkward. I'm an 18-year-old skinny twink, was in monogamous relationship with a top. During anal sex i didn't feel anything but initial pain and a heat while he pulls out... We tried not once, not twice... But maybe i would start to feel pleasure if we tried 10+ times? His penis was average i think, so maybe he just doesn't know how to use it? But why tops can feel a real physical pleasure independently from any circumstances while bottoms can't?
This is NOT the most awful thing! I understood that unlike top bottom should spend quite much time to prepare, to be clean. The bottom has to feel some pain if the top does something wrong. The bottom can have problems with health because of frequent enema use. The bottom will not have much physical pleasure if his top doesn't hit the prostate. Unlike the bottom, the top feels physical pleasure ALWAYS because the head of a penis is always stimulated during an anal action. If the sex is bareback, the bottoming dude also should worry after sex about the sperm in his butt. Moreover, it can lead to an upset stomach!!!
So, it is a hundred times easier AND HEALTHIER to top and the physical pleasure is guaranteed. The top even doesn't necessarily "works" during the anal intercourse, so the bottoming man not only takes all the risks, preparation, pain BUT ALSO the whole work. It blows me up!!!
On youtube i watched some videos where people say that everyone can top but not everyone can bottom. Isn't it the truth?
I think that among gay community there are much more total tops than total bottoms. Bisexuals are often total bottoms with men, while gays are versatile (~80%, i think), only tops (15%) and only bottoms (5% - those who have never tried topping and think that the sensation they feel while bottoming is better than the top's, or they are just masochists).
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Are you shocked? Whether i'm mistaken? You CAN change it! But don't say "it's all about preference". No, just psychological part is about preference. For example, i psychologically prefer giving a blowjob, but physically - receiving. That means that if i psychologically preferred receiving the blowjob as much as giving, i would be more satisfied. So, if a bottom prefers bottoming just because of the psychology, he has less pleasure than a top who ADORES topping both physically and mentally. Plus the top doesn't risk, doesn't prepare etc...
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My current boyfriend (he is 22 y.o.) is a total top, he has never bottomed and feels disgusted if thinks about the situation when he is a bottom. I've not bottomed for him still. He tries to persuade me that there are more bottoms and vers-bottoms than tops and vers-tops. Also he says that he as a top has a more widely pool of people to have sex or relationship with. Moreover, he says that there are quite many total bottoms. But when i asked him "did they tried topping?" he answered "no...". What a shame! I truly love this guy, that's why i'm currently trying to figure out the truth of topping and bottoming.
I can't imagine myself bottoming not in a monogamous relationship. I've never tried hookups and can't understand guys who only or mostly bottom for the strangers. Obviously that the top in this situation has a super great sex without thinking about preparation and what will be tomorrow with the person he fucks... while bottom takes lots of risks, should prepare and do damage to his health coz of douching, can feel pain AND can be NOT physically SATISFIED, JUST USED!!! I don't count psychological satisfaction because both top and bottom have it (while top's PHYSICAL pleasure outweighs bottom's physical pleasure).
I have never topped yet but I'm sure that it's extremely pleasurable because receiving a blowjob is gorgeous. Anal sex is more pleasurable for the topping dude than receiving blowjob because of asshole tightness. Currently, according to my experience, even receiving a blowjob is better than bottoming anal sex because the receiving blowjob makes me physically satisfied (i'm hardly interested in domination, so i don't receive a considerable amount of psychological pleasure receiving a blowjob). The receiving blowjob is better than the giving one because physical pleasure is guaranteed while psychological isn't.
I can't be a total top or a vers-top not only because i'm an 18-year-old twink, but also because i'm more submissive (not a slave, not into humiliation, just want to be with athletic/muscular guy, to be much weaker than he, want him to take care of me - and that's almost all that i have right now, but i understand that bottoming is bad for my health (not bottoming but douching, so if i knew how to be quite clean without douching and desirable with possibility to have bareback sex it wouldn't worry me).
My darling even says that he can try to not have anal sex, but i want anal, i just don't want to douche because it does harm to my health.
When i was younger (12-16) i didn't think about sex positions but now i see that there's no one benefit of bottoming. Anal orgasm? This is so rare a thing. What's about the cases where there isn't this kind of orgasm? Jerking off while bottoming doesn't bring such a great orgasm in comparison with cumming in an ass without a condom, does it? It costs too much for being a bottom. The disadvantages don't outweigh the benefits.
I can have a penile orgasm... If i'm jaking off while i bottom... But i don't need a guy for this, omg! If you are jacking off during the intercourse, the stimulation you have is less "bright" and intense because a hand is not an asshole... But if you don't jack off, won't you feel nothing? Or when prostate is stimulated, it'll be very good itself? Maybe prostate stimulation + jacking off = more intense orgasm than topping orgasm with ejaculation in the ass without a condom? Or at least more intense than the blowjob orgasm?
My boyfriend can do a blowjob. But the orgasm is obviously less intense in comparison with"cuming in an ass without a condom", isn't it? The intimacy is not only for me, but also for him, but he cums and i don't. Moreover, i can experience the intimacy without taking his dick and preparing for it (and additionally being on a diet). Just the same sexual poses but without penetration in me. So, i don't consider the intimacy, it's psychological. It would be ok if you said something like "the sensations people get from stimulating the prostate are far intense than from the head of cock stimulated in the ass, so you should feel more sensations from the process itself in comparison with the top's sensations".
Doesn't it bother you to prepare for bottoming? Or your preparation is like "eating a healthy amount of fiber and taking a shower"? If not, then it should damage health. If no prep, there'll be unpleasant smells, won't they? Bottoming without prep is not so hard, i agree. But smells should be, i think.
Feeling of intense intimacy and connection - doesn't the top feel the same? I don't consider this psychological stuff, it's individual while physical pleasure is guaranteed. So, do total bottoms feel pleasure receiving a blowjob and could top if they wanted to but they find bottoming more satisfying because topping doesn't bring enough psychological satisfaction to them?
Is it possible to turn a top into a vers-top? He has never had a bottoming experience and says "i won't be able to top a guy who fucked me". That means, if he lets me to top him one day, he will never top me further because of some psychological issues. He even adds "are you ready to be always on top?" - however, it doesn't mean that he will like bottoming more than topping (or even like bottoming at all). And of course, i'm not ready to "only top" the guy who is much bigger and sporty than i.
As you can see, this twink has an awkward worry. Write your opinion and advice below, so you can influence on the destiny of a lucky twink who is sincerely loved by a careful total top. You can overpersuade me.
I have become very nervous since last year. But the reason of it is awkward. I'm an 18-year-old skinny twink, was in monogamous relationship with a top. During anal sex i didn't feel anything but initial pain and a heat while he pulls out... We tried not once, not twice... But maybe i would start to feel pleasure if we tried 10+ times? His penis was average i think, so maybe he just doesn't know how to use it? But why tops can feel a real physical pleasure independently from any circumstances while bottoms can't?
This is NOT the most awful thing! I understood that unlike top bottom should spend quite much time to prepare, to be clean. The bottom has to feel some pain if the top does something wrong. The bottom can have problems with health because of frequent enema use. The bottom will not have much physical pleasure if his top doesn't hit the prostate. Unlike the bottom, the top feels physical pleasure ALWAYS because the head of a penis is always stimulated during an anal action. If the sex is bareback, the bottoming dude also should worry after sex about the sperm in his butt. Moreover, it can lead to an upset stomach!!!
So, it is a hundred times easier AND HEALTHIER to top and the physical pleasure is guaranteed. The top even doesn't necessarily "works" during the anal intercourse, so the bottoming man not only takes all the risks, preparation, pain BUT ALSO the whole work. It blows me up!!!
On youtube i watched some videos where people say that everyone can top but not everyone can bottom. Isn't it the truth?
I think that among gay community there are much more total tops than total bottoms. Bisexuals are often total bottoms with men, while gays are versatile (~80%, i think), only tops (15%) and only bottoms (5% - those who have never tried topping and think that the sensation they feel while bottoming is better than the top's, or they are just masochists).
///////////////////////////////////
Are you shocked? Whether i'm mistaken? You CAN change it! But don't say "it's all about preference". No, just psychological part is about preference. For example, i psychologically prefer giving a blowjob, but physically - receiving. That means that if i psychologically preferred receiving the blowjob as much as giving, i would be more satisfied. So, if a bottom prefers bottoming just because of the psychology, he has less pleasure than a top who ADORES topping both physically and mentally. Plus the top doesn't risk, doesn't prepare etc...
///////////////////////////////////
My current boyfriend (he is 22 y.o.) is a total top, he has never bottomed and feels disgusted if thinks about the situation when he is a bottom. I've not bottomed for him still. He tries to persuade me that there are more bottoms and vers-bottoms than tops and vers-tops. Also he says that he as a top has a more widely pool of people to have sex or relationship with. Moreover, he says that there are quite many total bottoms. But when i asked him "did they tried topping?" he answered "no...". What a shame! I truly love this guy, that's why i'm currently trying to figure out the truth of topping and bottoming.
I can't imagine myself bottoming not in a monogamous relationship. I've never tried hookups and can't understand guys who only or mostly bottom for the strangers. Obviously that the top in this situation has a super great sex without thinking about preparation and what will be tomorrow with the person he fucks... while bottom takes lots of risks, should prepare and do damage to his health coz of douching, can feel pain AND can be NOT physically SATISFIED, JUST USED!!! I don't count psychological satisfaction because both top and bottom have it (while top's PHYSICAL pleasure outweighs bottom's physical pleasure).
I have never topped yet but I'm sure that it's extremely pleasurable because receiving a blowjob is gorgeous. Anal sex is more pleasurable for the topping dude than receiving blowjob because of asshole tightness. Currently, according to my experience, even receiving a blowjob is better than bottoming anal sex because the receiving blowjob makes me physically satisfied (i'm hardly interested in domination, so i don't receive a considerable amount of psychological pleasure receiving a blowjob). The receiving blowjob is better than the giving one because physical pleasure is guaranteed while psychological isn't.
I can't be a total top or a vers-top not only because i'm an 18-year-old twink, but also because i'm more submissive (not a slave, not into humiliation, just want to be with athletic/muscular guy, to be much weaker than he, want him to take care of me - and that's almost all that i have right now, but i understand that bottoming is bad for my health (not bottoming but douching, so if i knew how to be quite clean without douching and desirable with possibility to have bareback sex it wouldn't worry me).
My darling even says that he can try to not have anal sex, but i want anal, i just don't want to douche because it does harm to my health.
When i was younger (12-16) i didn't think about sex positions but now i see that there's no one benefit of bottoming. Anal orgasm? This is so rare a thing. What's about the cases where there isn't this kind of orgasm? Jerking off while bottoming doesn't bring such a great orgasm in comparison with cumming in an ass without a condom, does it? It costs too much for being a bottom. The disadvantages don't outweigh the benefits.
I can have a penile orgasm... If i'm jaking off while i bottom... But i don't need a guy for this, omg! If you are jacking off during the intercourse, the stimulation you have is less "bright" and intense because a hand is not an asshole... But if you don't jack off, won't you feel nothing? Or when prostate is stimulated, it'll be very good itself? Maybe prostate stimulation + jacking off = more intense orgasm than topping orgasm with ejaculation in the ass without a condom? Or at least more intense than the blowjob orgasm?
My boyfriend can do a blowjob. But the orgasm is obviously less intense in comparison with"cuming in an ass without a condom", isn't it? The intimacy is not only for me, but also for him, but he cums and i don't. Moreover, i can experience the intimacy without taking his dick and preparing for it (and additionally being on a diet). Just the same sexual poses but without penetration in me. So, i don't consider the intimacy, it's psychological. It would be ok if you said something like "the sensations people get from stimulating the prostate are far intense than from the head of cock stimulated in the ass, so you should feel more sensations from the process itself in comparison with the top's sensations".
Doesn't it bother you to prepare for bottoming? Or your preparation is like "eating a healthy amount of fiber and taking a shower"? If not, then it should damage health. If no prep, there'll be unpleasant smells, won't they? Bottoming without prep is not so hard, i agree. But smells should be, i think.
Feeling of intense intimacy and connection - doesn't the top feel the same? I don't consider this psychological stuff, it's individual while physical pleasure is guaranteed. So, do total bottoms feel pleasure receiving a blowjob and could top if they wanted to but they find bottoming more satisfying because topping doesn't bring enough psychological satisfaction to them?
Is it possible to turn a top into a vers-top? He has never had a bottoming experience and says "i won't be able to top a guy who fucked me". That means, if he lets me to top him one day, he will never top me further because of some psychological issues. He even adds "are you ready to be always on top?" - however, it doesn't mean that he will like bottoming more than topping (or even like bottoming at all). And of course, i'm not ready to "only top" the guy who is much bigger and sporty than i.
As you can see, this twink has an awkward worry. Write your opinion and advice below, so you can influence on the destiny of a lucky twink who is sincerely loved by a careful total top. You can overpersuade me.
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