I'm now single! And could not be happier. Topic where I biotched my tits off: showthread.php?t=25536 - I compromised too much etc etc etc. Already looking to move forward (keeping the ex as a friend, however tricky!)
* He kept me to himself, so my social skills have a thin layer of dust upon them. What would you guys prescribe for rejoining society? Any good websites to help socialize? What are reasonable socializing expectations for a mid-twenties office-job guy?
* Time to give dating a rest for a while. I still have... erm... desires unsatisfied for 3 years of dating. I kinda skipped the go-out-and-shag-everyone stage of my life. Not much of a loss, other than: how do you get hookups? 
* Question: Does having an not-muscle-defined average body (thanks office job!) make it harder to attract guys? Do most of you guys go for thin or muscular types? What can a guy with a tiny belly and tiny moobs expect?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Posts: 1,323
Threads: 6
Joined: Jul 2010
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Capricorn
Mood: None
Tin belly & moobs are not a disadvantage at your age. All ya gotta do is smile and shake your ding-dong around - and the wolves will come running!!!!
•
depends on what you want, I have a rather average body and I get PLENTY of action
just talk to people and be friendly,
•
Gyms are great for meeting people as are coffee shops.
•
Congrats on kickin him to the curb!
Now, to DIRECTLY answer your question: Does having an not-muscle-defined average body (thanks office job!) make it harder to attract guys?
The answer is: Yes, if YOU are attracted to muscular/thin guys.
Bottom line, use this "single time" to work on YOU! If you want to get in shape. Use the time you USED to spend with him and go to the gym. Commit to it. Winter's a great time to hit the gym - so you can be "swimsuit-ready" when it's warmer. Another benefit to hitting the gym, is that's a great place to make new friends and other guys wanting to get in - or stay in - physical shape.
Look, the reality is, society values folks who are in-shape. ANd you know what, being healthy and inshape isn't a bad thing. Yea, some say it's just superficial - but i say - bunk. Take the next 3 months and work on you. Get in shape, take the money you'd spend on him and buy new clothes. Get a nice haircut - take care of YOU!
You'll look better. You'll feel better. And, you'll garner the attention of more guys.
Sorry guys, but it's the truth - first impressions are lasting. And i'm SOOOO tired of out-of-shape guys bitching about how they can't get guys to see how GREAT a person they are because all they see is FAT/OUT oF SHAPE> Well, guess what? Being in-shape tells the world that you care about your BODY as much as your mind.
PS: I used to be 90lbs overweight when i came out. I learned very quickly if i was going to feel fully comfortable with myself and my new community i was going to have to shed the OLD ME and show the NEW ME. 6 months and 60lbs lighter...i re-emerged a happier person - inside and out. ANd, guess what? I DID get more attention from the guys i was attracted to. Funny how that works!
•
Can't say I'm at all experienced in this field, but I will say that I wouldn't worry about being muscular, some guys (like me) find that men who have only subtle muscle tone are the most attractive.
•
Welcome to to the world of reality.
Moobs and belly are human. So is moobs and jelly belly.
If you want shallow, vain, and self centered, then by all means get yourself "cut" and "defined".
I find its extremely rare that these types of people are every happy, because they are always finding faults in everybody else, except themselves.
If you want a real guy, then dont change anything (unless YOU want to change, dont change FOR someone else). If you want happiness, whether it be a BFF or a BF or a hubby, then you have to be real. Otherwise it just wont work out.
Just be you.
Join social clubs/organizations, like the museum, a book club, a movie club, etc.
Volunteer some of your time to local organizations.
You meet people that way.
•
MisterTinkles Wrote:Welcome to to the world of reality.
Moobs and belly are human. So is moobs and jelly belly.
If you want shallow, vain, and self centered, then by all means get yourself "cut" and "defined".
I find its extremely rare that these types of people are every happy, because they are always finding faults in everybody else, except themselves.
If you want a real guy, then dont change anything (unless YOU want to change, dont change FOR someone else). If you want happiness, whether it be a BFF or a BF or a hubby, then you have to be real. Otherwise it just wont work out.
Just be you.
Join social clubs/organizations, like the museum, a book club, a movie club, etc.
Volunteer some of your time to local organizations.
You meet people that way.
While I have been cut, defined, slightly overweight and back to cut and defined (rince and repeat) with never so much as a thought as to my current state at various points in my life.......good post "Mr.Tinkles". Makes sense from a "veteran of life's" prospective.
•
You know what, f**k it! The benefits of exercise are so great, that it makes garnering more attention an added boner. I mean bonus. I get to feel good, be healthy, have less (no?) acne, and perhaps even be able to lick my own... elbow (what were you thinking you dirty perves?!) I only live once, and wouldn't it feel good to achieve that?
THAT said, this shouldn't stop me from going out and getting some. Hell I'm not even picky about the shape of men I go for! When it comes to friendships, I'm pretty much indifferent about how people look (no seriously).
Thanks for the interesting replies 
•
|
Broke up -> Happy -> Now what?!
