Hypothetical questions

[LONDONER]

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...floor.

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

4. The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self- help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

7. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

9. Is there another word for synonym?

10. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

11. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

12. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

13. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

14. Why do they lock petrol station toilets? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them?

15. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

17. If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

18. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

19. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

20. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

21. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

22. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? (I needed to think about this one!)

23. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

24. How is it possible to have a civil war?

[Undreamt]

1. Not a question.

2. Not a question.

3. Firstly we didn't, humans and apes evolved from the same creature, differnt evolutionary paths were followed ergo, differnt outsome.

4. Not a question.

5. Clearly you need to find a better bookstore.

6. Then this question would not exist.

7. It would be considerd child abuse to wash a childs mouth out with soap, and mothers tend to wash all childrens hands with soap as it is a good hyginic habit.

8. No, but it might be if they threatened to kill themselves

9. Synonyme or metonym

10. A desert

11. Take a picture

12. Ask a lawyer

13. No

14. Because they don't want someone hiding in there and assalting the teller at night.

15. he's dead

16. Yes, Vegetairians can eat anything they like.

17. Yes, typically that statement is made apon arrest, generally they wouldnt' know the person is mute untill they are back at the station.

18. It's easier to use the same parts as used in other ATM's and the blind person might be sitting behind the driver.

19. They don't

20. Toast.

21. Not true, they can say how bad another person is in comparison to them.

22. No, You can see quite clearly in the disney move she wears clamshells.

23. Probably about the same as Seniors enjoy seniority.

24. Be polite when you kill the enemy.

[southbiochem]

1.- Not a question

2.- Not a question

3.- it's called diovergent evolution, same ancester different evolutive paths

4.- Not a question (but agreed)

5.- It would, but you should rephrase the question to "where can I find self-improvement books?

6.- The world would collapse on itself

7.- Cutting off his hands would be more of an example, so no

8.- Nope, they are not being held against their will in a confined room with limited acess

9.- metonym, simil....

10.- to the city

11.- shoot a sleeping dart at the animal, get it away form the endagered plant and then set it free

12.- Money or jail, that's the rule unless the parts settel for indemnization in the form of goods

13.- It wouldn't live long enough to be called anything

14.- Controled access is the number one priority when you work out in the open

15.- Both and also, quite dead.

16.- Ingredients in cookies are from animal and vegetable origin, so depends on how much of a vegetarian the person is. It he/she doesn't mind eating eggs and butter, it's all good

17.- As he is mute not deaf, they need to do it or face the consequence in a court of law, and I assume that remain silence also includes no form of sign language

18.- The rules are meant to see blind people as capable of being in any given situation

19.- They don't, it just merely warns the driver to stay alert in the immediate sorroundings for the appearance of a deer.

20.- When the bread was in one piece

21.- Not a question

22.- you can't wear a mathematical discipline..

23.- not all adults enjoy adultery and not all infants enjoy infancy

24.- 2 sides within one state differing to such extent that is leads to arm conflict when they can get an armed faction to support them

[MisterTinkles]

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...floor.
Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila.....you are an alcoholic.

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Not true. Atheism is a religion, and all religions have prophets.

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Exactly. If we evolved from ANY kind of ape or monkey, then there would still be "missing links" around.

4. The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
A fictional character cannot have life, much less molest "bad girls".

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self- help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I would report this woman to corporate and have her fired for refusing to help you, which is her job.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Then there would be no people.

7. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
And then gets the paddle out to spank his behind.

8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
It depends on the hostages in question.

9. Is there another word for synonym?
Yes, but Im not telling you.

10. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Greenland.

11. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Laugh uncontrollably.

12. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Thats onion of your business.

13. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If we rip off your arms and legs, would we call you a roll?

14. Why do they lock petrol station toilets? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them?
No, they are afraid of drug addicts doing drugs in there and prostitutes using their "john" for their "Johns".

15. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Usually, its just dead.

16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Only the ones that are vegetarians.

17. If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Yes, otherwise the mute does not have a case. The police didn't read him his rights.

18. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
For blind drivers. And they answer to your next question is yes, they DO give drivers licenses to blind people, who actually do drive.

19. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
Because they put the signs up where the deer cross the roads.

20. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
The light bulb.

21. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Sure they do........how other people think how great they are. Geez, have you NEVER read anything I have written????

22. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? (I needed to think about this one!)
No, she wears seashells from the seashore.

23. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Yes.....yes they do.

24. How is it possible to have a civil war?
Just wait a few more years, you will see........one is coming.
__________________

[partis]

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Because some people cant evolve.

[MisterTinkles]

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Because some people cant evolve.

Or refuse too....

[sillyboy86]

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...floor.

Four tequila, five tequila, six tequila, and more!

[partis]

Would a fly without wings be called a walk… :p YES!