She wants to be a he

[Anonymous]

So I met this girl and im falling in love with!! She is so wonderful and all but she has some issues. She wants to be a guy and some other thngs in her life.
This is not a problem for me since im bi and either way her/his personality is what I fell in love with. What im afraid of is ,if she gets a change will it like make him want to explore his new sexuality more and cheat on me .

[dfiant1]

See how you fell in love with his personality rather than his gender, wouldn't you expect the same from him?

If he doesn't love you the same way, do you think it is worth persuing?

The 'change' I don't think will change his sexuality, so perhaps you are over thinking this. If he loves you now, then it stands to reason the love will still be there after the change because as far as I understand it, gender is in the mind so he is already thinking like a he even though the genitals don't match his identity.

Further more, I think you should have this discussion with him. There is a lot to learn and there is a lot of thing you can learn together and from each other.

[Joshular]

He may be an old poofda but dfiant1 is wise

[southbiochem]

Pretty much what the ^ANZACs^ said..(And I'm choosing to make AC mean Awesome Citizens :biggrin

I don't understand why the sex change would change her personality..

the only way for her>him to want to go out there and experience, it that she > he simoy didnpt care about you..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So I met this girl and im falling in love with!! She is so wonderful and all but she has some issues. She wants to be a guy and some other thngs in her life.
This is not a problem for me since im bi and either way her/his personality is what I fell in love with. What im afraid of is ,if she gets a change will it like make him want to explore his new sexuality more and cheat on me .

I think you mayn't fully understand this sex-change situation fully.

You said she wants to be a he... That may not be altogether true. Instead HE is stuck in the body of a she and HE wants to be Himself.

It is a subtle difference which may help to ease your mind that there mayn't be much in the way of 'playing around' to explore what being a He is - mentally and emotionally He is already a He.

I think that you are going down the same road that many who date Bisexuals go down. Thoughts like:

"The Bisexual won't be satisfied with just 'me' since they have needs to be with both genders and I are only one gender."

You're bi - how true is that sort of thought?

Gay, bi/straight/trans - no matter what sexual orientation or gender a person is, if they are into monogamy and are with that one special person, they will refrain from cheating.

I suspect that He isn't going to want to test drive the new equipment with many individuals, and if he is in a relationship where he is accepted for himself, that will pretty much trump any urge to test drive on various people - if you know what I mean.

Understand that no matter who you date, no matter what they say, what gender they are, their sexual orientation, there is always a risk of random extra-relationship affairs happening.

Monogamy is NOT a natural state for homo sapiens sapiens. Monogamy isn't special because its easy to do, it is special because we all tend to struggle with being faithful and wanting to sow wild oats of some kind. Wanting to do a thing and actually doing it is two different situations.

I assure you, if you have faith in your partner and let him know that you have faith in his faithfulness, he will be less prone to sow his wild oats. If you make a big fuss about it and act like his gender-change is a 'good reason' to doubt him, that doubt may actually push him to try it.

Most likely there may be a greater chance that monogamy will be maintained with the first relationship after the change.

Why? Because he is going to be able to share something with you and only you that no one else has ever had. This is a symbol of how devoted and how much love he would have for you, thus it can be a pretty special thing.

[Woollyhats]

If you love someone truly, you will want them to be themselves, and that is what this person is doing. Asking a transgender person to not pursue reassignment oppourtunities is asking someone to be imprisoned in the body of a foriegn person. Even if the examples were not so extreme, realize that changing one's body to the form they wish is not so outlandish, we do it every time we dye our hair, wear make up, get a peircing, a tattoo. There is really nothing wrong with being a transgender person.

Edit: Also, gender =/= sexuality. Unless your partner is bisexual as well, he's still going to be attracted to exactly the same people.

Please be supportive.

[partis]

Has she said she wants to live as a gay man. And if you love each other and have good sex life why does she want to ? If she's in love with a man… ? Is she bi-sexual ?

Yes your right to be worried.

[Justinintendo]

If she's in love with you, then you have nothing to worry about...Unless she wants to expend thousands of dollars in cosmetic surgery then there's going to be very little changing in your sex life unless she suddenly becomes the dominant party in the relationship. If she's equally in love with you then there shouldn't be an issue. And for you, if she's attractive to you as a woman, imagine how much more attractive she will be when she makes the transition, and finally feels right in her own body, she'll be more confident. I think love transcends gender more often than not. You really shouldn't have anything to worry about.