Adoption or the Whole Shebang ?

[Shadow]

Hokay so ... OF those of you that would ultimately like to have children, how would you be thinking of going about doing it ?

Adoption ?

(I forget the proper name for it :redface: but) donation of your sperm for fertilisation of a woman's eggs ? Surrogacy ? Is that it ?? :redface: - it's late and I can't think :frown:.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[princealbertofb]

Surrogacy is the correct word... also surrogateship...
[17c: from Latin subrogare, subrogatum, to substitute.]

[Shadow]

Thanks babe x

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[wouldlikemuscle]

IF I was to completely go mental and decide I actually wanted kids... it would have to be surrogacy coz I would have to bring up my own kid. I could not deal with anyone else's even if it was adopted so technically my own.
This would then bring about the problem of what if my partner wanted to the same thing... I guess then I would consider having 2 kids (I would really have to have flipped a lid to decide that!), one his, one mine.

[Shadow]

Bless you mile: ...

As you know I'd looooove children - two boys - at some point ... but I totally respect your views my love :biggrin:.

It's an interesting concept having two boys that are unrelated but both through surrogacy - that's not something I'd ever contemplated to be honest ...

Hmmmmmmmm ... *scratches his long scratchy beard* ...

mile:.

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Dan1089]

One of my life's goals if to have a someone call me "Dad".Until very recently I thought I had my heart set on marrying someone and then have little Dans and Danielles with my DNA.But I guess my priorities have changed.There are so many children and babies in South Africa tgbt are in need of homes and it would be extremely selfish of me to just want my own kids.And again,the world is such is such a fucked up place so I don't want to bring an innocent soul here.

[Shadow]

See that's actually another question in and of itself ...

The world DOES have its ups and downs, granted ... but ... is it better to give the gift of life (or an improved life if we're talking about adoption) to a child, or to deny them that in the belief that it's better they don't have to experience it ?

I think that even though life can deal you some SHITTY hands sometimes, it's better to have the opportunity to experience it ??

But perhaps that's just me ...

I'm grateful for even the sad and bad times (deep, DEEP down), because they have taught me some of the most important lessons in my life thusfar ...

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Dan1089]

Totally different contexts here Shadow.You live in a first world country and have literally nothing to worry about (as so do your future children).I live in a developing country and there are various negative socio-economic factors at play here.I'm sorry to say this but orphans there don't have it hard as orphans here.Extreme poverty,HIV/AIDS,dire living conditions,crime,no access to basic facilities etc.

[Shadow]

You are, of course, quite right, and I had not meant to appear indifferent towards, nor unaware of, the plight of people in the third world, or developing countries such as South Africa ...

... my office works in over 160 countries around the world, so I do know (again, albeit only from a first-world perspective) what it's like for people in many third world countries - there was one time our agent in one of the former USSR countries (I *think* it was the Ukraine but I'm not 100% on that) had to take the battery out of his car and use it to power his fax machine to confirm he'd met a deadline for a pushy American client), but I'll take it on the chin and admit that perhaps I did sound quite insensitive AND ill-advised with my last comment ...

Having said that, living conditions are one part of the greater whole that is life, obviously ... there are many people that live in shitball situations and are still happy, just knowing the love of their mother and father ...

My apologies if I upset you though x

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Dan1089]

I think we got our wires crossed somewhere,somehow!You didn't offend/anger me Shads but if you want me to accept your apology,you're going to have to flex your muscles for me!I was just trying to highlight how selfish of me it would be if I wanted my very own kid when literally millions of children in South Africa need a home and love.Intrigued by adopting outside the racial border though.