How do I know if I'm gay or bi???

[Smurlos]

Bil, I don't think you should waste your time with trying to work out a label for yourself. The one most important label in life is your name, that's all you need. You shouldn't need to complicate things further, just go with the flow.

I understand that you are probably after an answer to your enigma but don't put yourself through the trauma of trying to come to one conclusion right now, you've got your whole life ahead of you to find out through experimentation. Life is a journey.

You know one thing. You are sexually attracted to both men and women. You are more sexually attracted to men than you are women. In sexual terms, this puts you under the 'bisexual' bracket. But the term 'gay', 'straight' etc. is also used to describe one's behaviour.

I wouldn't worry too much about trying to classify yourself for now.

As for the argument about knowing you're gay before engaging in sexual relations, very good point. For me, I had a girlfriend when I was younger... and it didn't feel right. We kissed and cuddled but after a month we had already moved apart and were more like friends. We were listed as 'in relationship' for 3 years even though we had actually become just friends, and I think that was coz we were both too scared to break it off... however you just know... I never picture women in my head, nor do they turn me on in the slightest. So I've always known that I'd be gay in the sexual sense. However, I am 'straight acting'. In fact everytime I tell someone Im gay I get that "No Way!?!?!" reaction. Me and my boyfriend are exactly the same and when we're out you'd just think we're mates lol. So I don't really like to term myself as 'gay'. 'Gay' to me draws up connotations of guys wanting to be more feminine and to me bears some relevance the word 'gay' meaning happy. mile: and connotations of all the colourful clothes and such. I am 'gay' in terms of sexual preference but i don't believe I'm gay in how I act.

Hope this helps (I think I may have been a little repetitive however)

[Billington]

Yeah.... I know what you mean about labels. I need to chill out and let things happen at their own pace. And, yeah, I guess my gf isnt that special person... coz I have doubted the relationship even before these developments.

but...... I took a step forward today..... I told her about how Iv been feeling. Obviously it was horrible, and we had a good cry together, but the way we left it was that we're going to see where it goes. I feel terrible for hurting her though.

[marshlander]

Yeah.... I know what you mean about labels. I need to chill out and let things happen at their own pace. And, yeah, I guess my gf isnt that special person... coz I have doubted the relationship even before these developments.

but...... I took a step forward today..... I told her about how Iv been feeling. Obviously it was horrible, and we had a good cry together, but the way we left it was that we're going to see where it goes. I feel terrible for hurting her though.

Bravo! That was brave and, I think, the best thing to do.

A for you and a for her.

I hope you find what you are seeking.

[Billington]

Thanks Marshlander..... I definitely needed a hug!!! (can I keep her's for myself as well? lol)

She actually did something quite remarkable just now, and possibly the most assertive thing she has ever done in our relationship. She said that we should have a break until I've worked out everything out in my own head.
I kinda feel like today has sped along at like 100mph.... but I think I'm happy with the result.

hugs to everyone!!!!!!!!

[Shadow]

Fair play those ARE big steps in a short while - I think you ought to take a pause to catch your breath babe.

.

xx

As hard a decision as it has been to come to to have a chat with her I certainly think it was a) brave, and b) the right thing to do, and having a clear conscience is very important. Even though I'm sure it probably did hurt to hear it, she knows that you had the respect for her to do the right thing. Well done xx

.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[marshlander]

Thanks Marshlander..... I definitely needed a hug!!! (can I keep her's for myself as well? lol)

She actually did something quite remarkable just now, and possibly the most assertive thing she has ever done in our relationship. She said that we should have a break until I've worked out everything out in my own head.
I kinda feel like today has sped along at like 100mph.... but I think I'm happy with the result.

hugs to everyone!!!!!!!!

To coin a cliché, today is the first day of the rest of your life. Good luck.

[TomKat]

I must've had a sheltered upbringing as I didn't know there was this "homo" thing going on until well into my teens. It was great when the penny dropped though - almost a relief.

Looking back (pre senior school) I can remember watching all the popular boys hanging around with the girls and thinking (& this sounds really silly now:redface I wish I was a girl so all the nice (in the old fashioned sense) boys would want to "hang" with me. Fortunately I didn't pursue that:biggrin:.

I then went on to an all boys school and then the Army. It wasn't until a few of "me army mates" started going on about "queers" (they never stop talking about it you know) that I eventually realised why I felt like I did.

Needless to say after a few beers a lot of fun was had. I could go on but I'll save some for another daymile:

[princealbertofb]

I must've had a sheltered upbringing as I didn't know there was this "homo" thing going on until well into my teens. It was great when the penny dropped though - almost a relief.

Looking back (pre senior school) I can remember watching all the popular boys hanging around with the girls and thinking (& this sounds really silly now:redface I wish I was a girl so all the nice (in the old fashioned sense) boys would want to "hang" with me. Fortunately I didn't pursue that:biggrin:.

I then went on to an all boys school and then the Army. It wasn't until a few of "me army mates" started going on about "queers" (they never stop talking about it you know) that I eventually realised why I felt like I did.

Needless to say after a few beers a lot of fun was had. I could go on but I'll save some for another daymile:

We obviously want the whole story, Tomkat... How long will it take?

[fjp999]

We obviously want the whole story, Tomkat... How long will it take?

Ditto

Maybe a whole new blog with pics, vids etc

[Billy]

All I can really add is that when I was in infant school I distinctly remember a girl showing me her Vagina and me thinking "I'd rather look at a willy". I guess I'm trying to say I've always known that I'm gay. Good luck.