You all may not like Me, & that's okay!

[James]

Hi and welcome to Gayspeak, this is a support forum and to have someone who is searching for answers as I believe you are, your in the right place, plus your input may also enlighten us, James

[Woollyhats]

Hi Mrs Legit...Welcome to Gay Speak... welcoming and open to 'straight' individuals as well. If you've questions, we've answers. I apologize that you're saddened with gay black men, though I challenge the notion that they are confused.

I think you might be here to ask questions and to obtain some answers. I will try to give some basic information to hopefully answer some questions you may want to ask, or simply for curiosity reasons.

You must understand that homosexuality is not a life style... things like spiking my hair, wearing glasses versus contacts, wearing athletic versus nerdy shirts are style things. For a true homosexual, no amount of praying, wishing, or therapy (including severe therapies such as electroshock treatment --- I'm not just talking about the wishy washy) can change us into straight people, which suggests that homosexuality is a biological reality. Indeed, gay men have physical differences, such as a differently shaped brain; specifically the anterior hypothalamus, decreased average muscle mass, differences in the way homosexual brains respond to pheromones, smaller limbs, index and ring fingers of the same length and increased prevalence of counter clockwise hair whorl (linked with left handedness), increased left handedness, etc. -- homosexuality is not something that is simply a part of the mind or spirit...but very biological and tangible. I once had a girl identify me as gay based on my finger lengths and my crown of hair --- which was unsettling at the time. ***

Despite the biological differences between gays and straights, many stories in the media and from different sources have conflicting and confusing information.

You may have heard stories of gays that changed their sexuality. I will briefly provide context.

Heterosexual --- Opposite gender ONLY
Homosexual --- Same gender ONLY
Bisexual --- BOTH GENDERS (may pick one of the other, and identify as straight or gay which is totally okay).

'Success' stories where homosexuals convert to heterosexuals are often actually bisexuals simply choosing the other gender, or gay men choosing abstinence. And a gay man that doesn't have sex is still gay, in the same way that a priest who chooses celibacy still feels attraction to women and has some of his personality influenced by that.

There are also many different kinds of homosexuals. A lot of people have as all grouped into highly negative qualities (and that's partly the homosexual community's fault, so I am not accusing). You may imagine that most gay men wear rainbows and leather and participate in pride parades and maurade around scaring children, that we all have aids, boycott EVERYTHING, that we all have multiple partners and are essentially all sluts. I will answer this completely honestly and say that this is true of some people. But equally true is that many of us are your doctors and chefs, many of us have families and would do everything including die for them, a lot of us fall in love and live quiet ordinary lives, and for these homosexuals, you would likely never know we exist...

If you stay with this site, you'll learn that I tend to be long winded, and sometimes accidentally obnoxious like Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, but only because I try to respond fully. Despite this, I hope we can learn a lot from each other...

***
This is an excellent article on the topic of homosexuality and biology. If you are naturally suspicious of Wikipedia, I definitely recommend opening the references and learning some new things and verifying the information for yourself.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_and...pothalamus

[Versace]

I am a straight Black Woman, & I am honestly saddened by the number of Gay Men, but specifically GAY BLACK MEN! It is overwhelming & disappointing to see My Black Bruthas so lost, & so confused. I am here to voice MY opinions, as well as maybe getting a bit more insight into Homosexual Men. I will try my BEST to NOT make any personal offenses, but ALL I ask is that even if you don't like Me or what I have to say, at least attempt to understand it. Thanx.

I think i like you. C:

[Sylph]

Hi Mrs Legit...Welcome to Gay Speak... welcoming and opening to 'straight' individuals as well. If you've questions, we've answers. I apologize that you're saddened with gay black men, though I challenge the notion that they are confused.... I hope we can learn a lot from each other...

Ever the diplomat are you . I wish I had the same tact and care for words ;3

[Pix]

But i am interested tho in what you gotta say, cause I've always been curious about Black people in America, who besides yourself seem alot more accepting of Gay people and are generally different from us here.

Actually, it's not that accepting, generally speaking. That said, it doesn't reach the levels of hatred and violence (at least no more than any other racial demographic) that seems acceptable in many Caribbean countries.

Btw, you might like this...




Here's her talking on CNN (ETA: this was a different interview than I thought, but perhaps even better)...

[TonyAndonuts]

I'm a black male and definitely confused. But in my case, it's because I've spent my whole life liking girls, but recently started finding guys attractive as well. I realized that I always had that curiosity, but always held myself back. If I saw an attractive guy, I'd hold myself back and try not to look at him for very long or make up reasonable excuses why I found him attractive like "I'm just admiring the hard work he put on his body and wish I looked like that." But not anymore. If I see a guy and my gut reaction is "He's hot." then yes, he is hot and I'm gonna take a moment to ogle him. I might be bisexual, but because I'm still a virgin and haven't had the experience, it's hard for me to tell for sure what I like. I could be gay and all the female attraction was just from societal pressure to like girls because I'm a guy. Or I could be straight and the male attraction was just a moment of curiosity. Perhaps I WAS just "admiring their hard work". I don't know. But if I was simply a gay man who found guys attractive, did not find women attractive, and had healthy relationships with other men, I definitely wouldn't say I was confused. Hell, I'd prefer that. At least I'd know exactly what I wanted.

[East]

Hi...welcome...

I am a gay man who is genuinely saddened by the ignorance of so many straight people who think we made a "choice" to be gay.

I hope you understand I am not trying to insult you personally....it is not my intention... just commenting on your "sadness for us"

Like you said...you don't need to like me either but I hope you try to understand at least where I am coming from

I suspect Bible references will arrive soon enough...in the meantime...I hope you enjoy your time here

[dfiant1]

sometimes the best comment made on threads like this is the comment never made.

Just saying.

[Lilitu]

Actually, it's not that accepting, generally speaking. That said, it doesn't reach the levels of hatred and violence (at least no more than any other racial demographic) that seems acceptable in many Caribbean countries.

Btw, you might like this...




Here's her talking on CNN (ETA: this was a different interview than I thought, but perhaps even better)...

I looove Wanda Sykes!

My favourite part of that stand up show was when she did the 'throw my ashes on Halle Berry' bit xD

[Dreamer]

Welcome!


I hope your stay is an enlightening one!


You will learn to not be saddened for us, that we are far from confused, and that our sexualities are nothing more than a tiny little detail that makes us slightly different from you, one that is of no more importance than that of your own.


We have the same aspirations, dreams, shortcomings, comebacks, and so forth, as anybody else. Gay men don't need to sleep with women to have normal, successful and happy lives, not just because it would contradict our true natures, sending us into a dark downward spiral of brokenness for trying, but because of the (perhaps religious) notion that it's required of us in order to be good and decent human beings is a complete falsehood.


I hope you really do choose to stick around and open up a dialogue that we can all contribute too.