i was in same situation. I think it's very risky to give all your love to single man.
It's like put stake on a single number.
Very good post
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First of all Nay Nay what you write is so profound, so deep and from the heart.
One day you will meet someone and you will both look at each other and be able to communicate without words.
For now being let down, hurts. I'm afraid it happens to us all. And what it does is it makes us put up our guard even more. We have to take the chance though sometime because otherwise we will be alone and nobody really wants that.
To be alone and at peace with yourself is a good thing. To be able to talk to someone about your issues is a better thing. For you I have no doubts that you will meet the one eventually in your own time. The secret is never to give up!
Good Luck and I hope this helps a little.
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I was just reading your post again and what struck me is how much you appeared to put into the relationship and how little you seemed to get in return.
I don't agree that love is what you tell yourself. Sometimes you can want the other person to love you so much and you can be blind to the fact that they do not.
While I agree that you should never turn your back on friends and family, what you did was to put your heart and soul into your relationship and being honest I tend to do the same. You know how a person behaves towards you whether he loves you or not. It is the little things, the thoughtful things that lets you know. And for someone like me who finds it so hard to trust and tends to say little it is the observation that tells me what I need to know.
In all this my fear for you is that you have been so badly burned (and I feel your pain) that you will put a wall around you so thick that is will take a long time before you trust someone enough to break it down even partially to melt your heart again.
While it may seem little consolation to you right now to say that other guys can love you as you might love them, you are doing the right thing in trying to heal yourself. Try to learn some positives from this one and take your time. Value yourself and those who have always supported you in life but also remember that one bad apple on the tree does not mean that all of the apples on the tree are bad.
If you get bored, have a read on astrology maybe? I found it very revealing both about myself and other people.
Your post was so honest, so emotional, so real and thank you for sharing it.
The very best of luck in the future and I am sure you will be back in the game soon :-)
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