Not going anywhere...

[Bluelight]

For a while I've just been kind of feeling immobile. At least I have friends with whom I can hang out with and have a good time, but I also have a few enemies who unfortunately have an influence on my social life, and it's kind of hard to get away from them since we have so many mutual friends. Not to mention I'm starting to suspect that my best friend doesn't want me to find a boyfriend, it's becoming more and more evident, I see it in little things she says/does, like her little double-standards. It's almost like she just wants me to be wrapped around her finger, I'm starting to feel like she thinks my purpose to her is to be the "boyfriend" who she can't have in a straight man. That being said, everyone thinks we're dating, which is probably why fewer guys have approached me. Even while getting involved in things I have trouble meeting new people... I don't know, I think I already made a thread about that so I won't say any more.

So, is it normal to go through phases where you feel like your life is kind of stagnant? I just can't seem to change anything at the moment. I don't want to end my friendship with my best friend, because even though she does piss me off half the time, I'm still really close with her and I'm not willing to lose that companionship just yet, and if I did just end our friendship I would lose a lot of (good) friends along with her.

Anyway, I know I write a lot of posts along the same lines as this, but it's comforting for me to vent on here because there are people on this forum who know where I'm coming from; I don't know anyone in real life who has my problems, so I don't really like to talk to them about things like this, I'm sure you understand.

[James]

I probably have more friends from this site than I do here in town, my definition of a friend is someone who will come to your aid no matter what they are doing, if the can, and stay for as long as it takes to be sure your alright. Met many people who wanted to have a token Gay in their click, but would only be a friend if they could manipulate you. Sometimes in life you have to try a new direction in order not to be stagnant, just saying, Jim

[Adrift]

"is it normal to go through phases where you feel like your life is kind of stagnant?"

Yes.
Quite simply, yes.
I've just been through one. It sucks at the time. But remember that it is just that - a phase. The way to get through it is not to resist it, avoid looking at it and pretend it's not there, but to accept it. Most of people's problems and difficulties come from RESISTING the way things are - "it SHOULDN'T be like this" - but.... it is. When we come to acceptance of how things are, then we can move through and forward. Find the peace and the joy in what you have currently and make your life YOURS, no one elses. You will know when to say goodbye, and remember that when seek close one door, you will open the next door to better things. Some people will go, and new ones will come.

Not a lot has changed in my life as such from now to when I was feeling stuck and stagnant, but I have changed... my attitude has changed. And things are starting to happen. I literally have opened my mind to creative ideas. And I am progressively making my life mine. It is tough yes, but I am also trying to accept that really...nothing is that much of a big deal in life, and we are all just trying to find our way and do our own thing. None of us are right or wrong for anyone else. We are only right or wrong for ourselves, and that is for us to judge. Accept and love YOU and seek your own joy. Stop comparing your life to others, because so many of us are doing that anyway, trying to work out what is the right way to live. We all go through crap phases. And really, it is OK.

And if other people don't accept you, that's fine, leave them with it. It's their issue. Nothing really matters. As long as we are happy. And if you can find happiness in doing nothing for a while, let it be. You owe no one nothing, despite what they may tell you. Don't take responsibility for others.

[southbiochem]

So, is it normal to go through phases where you feel like your life is kind of stagnant? I just can't seem to change anything at the moment..

Yes, it's perfectly normal, itps sort of a feeling you get when you compare where you ideally would want to be with your life and where you actually are..it will happen from time to time.

Anyway, I know I write a lot of posts along the same lines as this, but it's comforting for me to vent on here because there are people on this forum who know where I'm coming from; I don't know anyone in real life who has my problems, so I don't really like to talk to them about things like this, I'm sure you understand.

Never feel like you can't vent with us, we are here to listen and give you help in the extent we can.


I think we've discussed this friend of yours before..

to me it sounds wise to want to keep her, given the relationship you two share..but she needs a sit down and a scold to drop thesew detrimental attitudes towards you. A good friend would be helping you cope with being gay, supporting you and helping you find a BF, not preventing you from it. This is the same thing I would assume you would do for her.

As for socializing...ugh...yes, yes I know very well how you feel..

my best advice to you is to find activities you enjoy and then try to find people who also enjoy them, and then try to connect..

as for your set of friends right now..it's OK if they're friends with these other people, but come on, you're not in High School anymore, you don't have to put up with overbearing and dominating attitudes from anyone.

Don't let them get into your head, you are far better than that

[Rainbowmum]

Usually I refer to normal as a cycle on my washing machine ,but yes this is very common.
Hang around I am sure you will find more friends.

Be careful of frienemies in real life ,you may want to ignore them.