Isn't it annoying when you have a crush on a work colleague?

[Tulloni]

Isn't it a bit annoying when you've got an attraction to someone you work with? The building I work with has a number of young(ish) male colleagues in their 20s-30s whom I quite fancy. I worked alongside one of them yesterday and found it a bit of a challenge. I get the feeling he liked me... but I am probably completely wrong.

It isn't as bad as when I first saw them as I now know they're not perfect but I still have a crush on them, especially the guy I worked with yesterday. They're most likely to be perfectly straight anyway but I dunno, I get a nagging feeling that at least one of them is probably gay/bi. I don't expect anything to happen and I am definitely not going to make a move as I know that will make life very very difficult. Still it's so frustrating to have a crush on someone and not being able to act on it for a number of reasons.

Plus we work together, so acting on these impulses would be a mistake and could have unfortunate consequences.

Has anyone ever had this problems? I imagine it's ridiculously common!

[Edward]

I understand what you're feeling. When I was working in clothes' shop as a shop assistant some years ago I liked my colleague so much that I almost felt like I went to job just to see him not because I needed the money.

[Robot]

it's so frustrating to have a crush on someone and not being able to act on it for a number of reasons.

You just described my life. And yes it's ridiculously common. I'm sure most of all feel related with that. That's the heavy weigth we have to lift for being who we are. It's not fair to be next to someone who makes us feel so great within ourselves and not being capable of saying a single word about it for the consequences it'll have.

But since we don't live in a gay island where every thought, word, attitude is well taken and seen normal, we must keep ourselves distant from such situations/people for our own sake.
... or be risky, but you know what might happen

[Tulloni]

It's more of a distraction than anything else really. I used to have a very small crush on a colleague at a previous job (when I was working as a customer service assistant in a shitty petrol/gas station) but the colleague in question was a total douchebag so that tiny crush quickly gave way to intense dislike. In some ways it's better if they're a bit annoying as it kills the crush, although it does leave you with a different problem!

What did this colleague of yours look like? Young? tall? dark? ridiculously handsome? The colleague I worked with yesterday is like that. I spent too much time looking into his pretty brown eyes!

[Edward]

He was really handsome, actually I've never seen a guy that would be more handsome. He was black-haired, brown-eyed, with hot tattooed arms and wonderful low voice. I still remember him although some 3 or 4 years are past since I worked there and I've never seen him since I left.

[CellarDweller]

Been there, done that. He didn't work in the same office as me, but for the same company, and we emailed each other all the time.

I developed a crush, he only saw me as a friend. Just so happened that the Skate American competition was held in his hometown one year, and I made a mini vacation out of it. He offered for me to spend the weekend with him, I thought we'd get to know each other better. When I got there, all he did was talk about this new guy he met online.

I was devastated.

I later considered myself lucky that we never connected that way, I found out some behaviors that really turned me off.

[sillyboy86]

LOL i had a crush on my direct superior, we were working on duo everyday and at a certain point I started found him very attractive. He's straight (...) but I had the impression that his overworking attitude, his obsession with future career and some other things were a method to avoid something about his true sexuality, something that maybe he doesn't even know... Talking about sex or crushes or similar things with him was too much strange, he always had a strange and embarrassed behavior. And this before start finding him attractive.
So I gave up, he wasn't a big deal. ;-)

But crushes on workplace are a normal thing!

[southbiochem]

Yeah, I know...

awful and distracting..but I get over it and concentrate on work after a while..

the crappy part is when you find a gay co-worker and realize he's way out of your league..

[mbennet35]

Yeah, I know...

awful and distracting..but I get over it and concentrate on work after a while..

the crappy part is when you find a gay co-worker and realize he's way out of your league..

Wait. No one could be out of your league. Your fucking perfect.

[Woollyhats]

It is annoying. I have a crush on a manger, and it's hard to force myself to ignore it - he's the nicest person I work with though, and of course he's one of the omnipresent managers.

Unfortunately, even if he wasn't 'straight', or even if I didn't have a boyfriend, I specifically don't want the work drama that dating someone from my work would bring.

I find that crushes get easier to handle if you force your mind off of them after a time.