Sometimes I feel like I'm less gay because I don't fit every stereotype

[Ekwarph]

If you don't have the plum stuck in the ass, you're not gay for sure.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Your making the mistake of allowing yourself to think that you have to fall into the gay stereotype in order to conform, like its some club or other.

We're all individuals.

The gay "stereotype" was conjured up by straight guys to give themselves the self-confidence that they we're not attracted to other guys.

Im a straight stereotype

Just be yourself

ObW
X

[partis]

Yes in a room of uber-straight guys im the more gay one but in a room of camp queens i feel like mr butch… a bit.

I dont know what fashion has to do with this… if you dont want to look nice, thats your choice. It doesnt have to do with labels.

[nfisher1226]

Furthermore, the stereotypes reinforce another common perception that drives me up a wall, that being gay makes you less of a man somehow. That's something that truly belongs in another century, but people still do feel that way in large numbers.

The fact that you are, from the way you describe yourself, a "manly man" is a chink in the armor of those who still feel this way. And honestly, there's way more gays who are just "average guys" than there are flamboyantly advertising themselves as gay to the world.

That said, nobody should give in to any pressure about who other people expect them to be. Everybody should have the freedom to just be the person they are, without having to adjust themselves to make others more comfortable.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Yes in a room of uber-straight guys im the more gay one but in a room of camp queens i feel like mr butch… a bit.

I dont know what fashion has to do with this… if you dont want to look nice, thats your choice. It doesnt have to do with labels.

Unless its Gucci, Prada, Armani, Hugo Boss, or Ralph Lauren

ObW
X

[partis]

Unless its Gucci, Prada, Armani, Hugo Boss, or Ralph Lauren

ObW
X

Who are they? :p

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Most of my friends are straight men. I hate fashion, materialism and cattiness. I cannot stand pretentious gays who judge everybody by what they look like.

I'm so straight acting that way to many times I have gone to a gay bar and had gay men walk up to me and ask me if I knew what kind of a bar I had apparently accidentally walked into that evening.

You at least come off as gay, you even told us you at the very least SOUND gay with a little cute lisp and that gay lilt that screams 'Homosexual'.

I have a deep voice that doesn't lilt in a gay way. I also have been known to play sports, hunt, fish and do all sort of Neanderthal type stuff.

There are lots and lots of masculine (AKA Straight Acting) gay guys in the world. Relying on stereotypes to define your sexuality is a bad idea. Relying on stereotypes to guide your behaviors to be part of a group who you identify with is also a very bad idea.

Between you, me and the many lamp posts who are going to quote what I am about to say and make a stink about it.....

A lot of gay males start off as being 'dudes' who enter the scene and learn from the scene that they have to act like a girly-girl, fem it up, don their queendom on and adopt all sorts of 'gay' habits in order to fit into a scene which jumped its tracks around the time of the Stonewall Riots when suddenly being a nelly queen became synonymous with being openly out of the closet.

It is an affectation, a facade that they adopt in order to 'fit in' with their particular herd. And yes most bottoms become nelly to send a clear message to the 'tops' that they are a bottom because we as a social group have bout into the idea that nelly = bottom and masculine = top.

What we have here is a vicious circle of stereotypes feeding reality which in turn feeds the stereotypes.

What you are judging is not so much a pattern of behaviors that are 'decidedly gay', you are judging an individual who most likely adopted a set of behavioral patterns in order to feel part of their herd. Most likely that person already has self-esteem issues and so badly needed to fit in they adopted all of this 'crap' in order to feel part of.....

Like Cheerleaders adopt bitchiness, and Jocks adopt bullying attitudes. All of those other stereotypes where Group A has this set standard of behaviors which the majority in that group do in order to have their identities as being part of Group A.

As for pretentious, sort of the pot calling the kettle black in your case. Why not to long ago I recall how fabulous it was to be a Southerner and how if anyone else wasn't from 'The South' they just were not fit for your time and friendship....

Got to admit that was a bit pretentious if not down right being a pompous ass.

Look you know how it is to live life on this god forsaken ball of mud, you are on the Autistic Spectrum and deal with 'that' every day of your life. Understand that the majority of LGBT you are going to meet have 'problems' - some drink, some use drugs, some have anxiety, some have low - ultra low - self esteem - well there is a pretty long ass list that is associated with LGBT in higher than any other group of 'ailments'.

And it is all due to how others treat the for being LGBT.

And your 'hate' back on them isn't going to do much but make those things you don't like more pronounced, after all, all of those things are signs and symptoms of an unwell mind or heart.

[Arkansota]

I'm so straight acting that way to many times I have gone to a gay bar and had gay men walk up to me and ask me if I knew what kind of a bar I had apparently accidentally walked into that evening.

You at least come off as gay, you even told us you at the very least SOUND gay with a little cute lisp and that gay lilt that screams 'Homosexual'.

I have a deep voice that doesn't lilt in a gay way. I also have been known to play sports, hunt, fish and do all sort of Neanderthal type stuff.

There are lots and lots of masculine (AKA Straight Acting) gay guys in the world. Relying on stereotypes to define your sexuality is a bad idea. Relying on stereotypes to guide your behaviors to be part of a group who you identify with is also a very bad idea.

Between you, me and the many lamp posts who are going to quote what I am about to say and make a stink about it.....

A lot of gay males start off as being 'dudes' who enter the scene and learn from the scene that they have to act like a girly-girl, fem it up, don their queendom on and adopt all sorts of 'gay' habits in order to fit into a scene which jumped its tracks around the time of the Stonewall Riots when suddenly being a nelly queen became synonymous with being openly out of the closet.

It is an affectation, a facade that they adopt in order to 'fit in' with their particular herd. And yes most bottoms become nelly to send a clear message to the 'tops' that they are a bottom because we as a social group have bout into the idea that nelly = bottom and masculine = top.

What we have here is a vicious circle of stereotypes feeding reality which in turn feeds the stereotypes.

What you are judging is not so much a pattern of behaviors that are 'decidedly gay', you are judging an individual who most likely adopted a set of behavioral patterns in order to feel part of their herd. Most likely that person already has self-esteem issues and so badly needed to fit in they adopted all of this 'crap' in order to feel part of.....

Like Cheerleaders adopt bitchiness, and Jocks adopt bullying attitudes. All of those other stereotypes where Group A has this set standard of behaviors which the majority in that group do in order to have their identities as being part of Group A.

As for pretentious, sort of the pot calling the kettle black in your case. Why not to long ago I recall how fabulous it was to be a Southerner and how if anyone else wasn't from 'The South' they just were not fit for your time and friendship....

Got to admit that was a bit pretentious if not down right being a pompous ass.

Look you know how it is to live life on this god forsaken ball of mud, you are on the Autistic Spectrum and deal with 'that' every day of your life. Understand that the majority of LGBT you are going to meet have 'problems' - some drink, some use drugs, some have anxiety, some have low - ultra low - self esteem - well there is a pretty long ass list that is associated with LGBT in higher than any other group of 'ailments'.

And it is all due to how others treat the for being LGBT.

And your 'hate' back on them isn't going to do much but make those things you don't like more pronounced, after all, all of those things are signs and symptoms of an unwell mind or heart.

Let me clarify. I hated where I was from for the longest time and I eagerly wanted to dissociate myself from Minnesota because I thought it was "lame" and "uncool". It was insecurity talking and nothing else. I have now realized how gorgeous Minnesota is and I am now so proud of the place that built me as an individual. And now because I love where I'm from, I understand that every single state in America is incredibly beautiful and it's not okay to insult anyone's home state, even if it's a bit overrated in my opinion.

Instead of insulting other states, I should focus on how proud I am to be a Minnesotan, just as Kansans should be proud to be Kansan, Californians should be proud to be Californians, etc.

[matty7]

so just be you - job done, ignore the rest

[justbry87]

I am so not proud to be a Connecticutian.. D: