I thought I'd restrict this thread (at least initially) to the United Kingdom, for reasons which will become apparent in a tick ...
Are there any rights that you feel gay men and women should be afforded in the UK, which are not currently available to us ?
For example ... at the moment (unless I'm mistaken) we still can't give blood ... that kinda thing ...
I'm curious, and believe it could lead to decent debate ...
... I'd cast a wider net and ask for worldwide views, but the rights of homosexuals in different countries varies so greatly, starting with something common might be a better idea for simplicity's sake.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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Well as far as blood goes, though i don't much care for the rule, i DO understand why it's there.
The rule is that a SEXUALLY ACTIVE homosexual man cannot give blood. So virgins are still fair game (poor word choice much??) and the simple reason is, i'm afraid, the AIDS word. Considering that we (10% of the population, tops) account for as significant a number of cases as we do, i'm no longer sure of the number, and taking into consideration that screening processes are not 100% accurate, and there's no way to take someone's word for it that they've only had sex twelve weeks ago or more it sadly DOES make sense to rule it out in much the same way other high-risk groups are excluded. I must remember to look out what i've read on the subject and present a more iron-clad representation.
Personally, i'd quite like to be allowed a MARRIAGE at some point in the future. 'Civil Partnership china' just doesn't have the same ring to it...
Oh, also it'd be nice to be taken more seriously from time to time. I know it's not a legal thing ostensibly but it really is. For instance here in Scotland the law is only JUST going to be changed to recognise anal rape for what it is.
Or there's the way my complaint at work was dealt with.
After i started at work, about a couple of weeks in i meet the manager of home and lighting one saturday night outside Foundation (the MAIN gay place here, an awesome night out btw) and he asks me how i feel i'm fitting in. So i say i think i'm settling in quite well, everyone seems really nice blah blah blah, so he proceeds to tell me that nobody takes me seriously, and that people had been saying this that and the other. Naturally i'm gutted. The he goes on to say he needs my mobile number for 'work reasons', fook knows what they were. So even though i had my doubts i complied and then made my excuses and go off on my way to do some shot and get over feeling like a total reject. I arrive home at about 4am to find a new message on my phone. I opened the message. Staring at me was a picture of a TRULY HIDEOUS penis. Like genuinely not nice. Not that was the issue.
So that set me off on a MAJOR downer, i started feeling like i did when i was in therapy for something that had happened a couple of years ago. Genuinely dirty. It's not a nice feeling. So the next time I was in work i go to speak to the weekend manager and say i wanted to complain. Explained the story. She takes me the admin office and i write an official complaint. She asks to see the photo. I comply. She is visibly repulsed.
Next time i'm in work on the saturday i go for an interview with the admin manager. She has a third party taking minutes. Asks me to tell her what happened. I did. She then asked if there was any way i could have led him to believe i had been flirting with him. I respond with a derisive snort and proceed to explain that it goes against my sense of professionalism involving myself with someone at work, and point out that he's extremely unattractive to me, too old etc. I get the feeling that had i been a girl she'd never have DARED to ask me such a belittling and offensive question.
After the meeting i read the revised minutes, which make much of the fact that he is gay and i am also. That he met me outside a gay club is pointed out, as though that somehow mattered. The man had been stupid enough to send the image from his number he uses as his contact number for work. Thus giving conclusive proof he did it.
After an interview conducted with him, admin manager returns to ask what action should be taken. I respond frankly, saying 'I don't want to be the one that lost him his job, but to be honest the idea of working around him, especially as he is in a position of power makes me uncomfortable. I want to see some retribution.' Admin manager assures me that as he is facing disciplinaries for other things he will most likely be fired. Asked if he were to remain there i said it would only be concievable if they were to assue me that he would have no contact with me unless it were entirely unavoidable and keep purely to professional matters.
I later recieve news that he has been removed from the
management programme, and not fired. He stayed there until last friday. He was no longer in management but kept his management number on the tills and still had access to personnel files and other managerial abilities.#
Ironically, it as him having his management number on the tills that resulted in him being fired. He'd used his powers to gain access to other people's till numbers, logged on as them (gross misconduct, sackable on the SPOT) run post voids through the tills and stolen the money. He was arrested IN THE STORE.
So my work care more about their money than their staff. Large companies SUCK.
I know that had i been a girl he'd have been sacked when my complaint was proved and the police would have been involved.
Not that i'm particularly bitter, this is something i'm determined to be as stoical as possible about. So pursuing it is entirely out of the question. But it proved to me that being gay means kciking up a fuss about such issues ISNT taken seriously at all.
It'd be nice for that to change one day.
xxx
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Shadow Wrote:I thought I'd restrict this thread (at least initially) to the United Kingdom, for reasons which will become apparent in a tick ...
Are there any rights that you feel gay men and women should be afforded in the UK, which are not currently available to us ?
For example ... at the moment (unless I'm mistaken) we still can't give blood ... that kinda thing ...
I'm curious, and believe it could lead to decent debate ...
... I'd cast a wider net and ask for worldwide views, but the rights of homosexuals in different countries varies so greatly, starting with something common might be a better idea for simplicity's sake.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
It doesn't actually answer your question in terms of rights and duties, but I think gay men ought to be allowed to hold hands or kiss in public without it leading to gay bashing or even tut tutting.... same as heteros... Well, I know, if you wanted to do it, you might, but you might also not be safe doing it.
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princealbertofb Wrote:It doesn't actually answer your question in terms of rights and duties, but I think gay men ought to be allowed to hold hands or kiss in public without it leading to gay bashing or even tut tutting.... same as heteros... Well, I know, if you wanted to do it, you might, but you might also not be safe doing it.
doesnt the UK have hate crime laws? If ya bash someone physically due to hate it becomes a pretty serious offense in USA. Maybe federal crime???
If someone got bashed for holding hands in USA that criminal would face some pretty serious time in prison.
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fjp999 Wrote:doesnt the UK have hate crime laws? If ya bash someone physically due to hate it becomes a pretty serious offense in USA. Maybe federal crime???
If someone got bashed for holding hands in USA that criminal would face some pretty serious time in prison.
Note that it didn't stop Matthew Shepard being killed in that atrocious way even though he certainly hadn't held anyone's hand (or other bodypart) in that bar.
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princealbertofb Wrote:Note that it didn't stop Matthew Shepard being killed in that atrocious way even though he certainly hadn't held anyone's hand (or other bodypart) in that bar.
his death may have helped to add homosexual bashing to the law books. But you are right... cant stop all deaths or bashing but some may think twice before acting. if it is just one it would be a positive thing.
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Funny... was talking about giving blood yesterday lunchtime at work, and surprised that people don't seem to realise that if you're gay, you can't give blood.
In fact, it stretches so far that you can't give blood if you are someone who's had sex with a "man who's had sex with another man".. ie a woman who's had sex with a gay/bi man.
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Y'know, one of the things that I LOVE about Gayspeak is that when you touch the right points, you can really spark up LOTS of interest in a topic, and the interest you do spark up is generally insightful, well-presented, and provokes thought and discussion.
It really is a great learning platform.
sox-and-the-city I can see what you're saying about the giving blood issue, but you know when there's something at the back of your mind and you just don't want to let go of it ? Kinda like a dog with a bone ? Were this a debate I would counter by saying that I thought the notion of AIDS being a "gay disease" had been laid to rest a long time ago, and that the prohibition on gay people giving blood could therefore be seen as discriminatory ... and that surely the focus ought not to be so much on preventing risk groups giving blood, as improving the testing of blood that has been given, so as to better screen it against the AIDS virus ...
... but then I might remember that I have a strong aversion to needles, so any move towards gay people being able to give blood might ultimately backfire on me, were I to be turned into a human pincushion *shivers*.  .
As far as the work thing is concerned  that's an AWFUL experience to have had to have gone through, and I am sorry that anybody, least of all you, would have to put up with such complete and utter pants !!
Over here, employers are TERRIFIED about discrimination in the workplace as Jersey has only recently enacted its revised Employment Law, and a Tribunal has been set-up (above the Ann Summers shop in town - makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME I think of it :biggrin  to deal with cases, so the States of Jersey are taking the issue very seriously ... even though the wheels are turning with their usual ferocity when it comes to tabling cases to be heard  .
Sometimes I think gay people ought to be allowed by law to pack heat, so as to sort out the troublemakers ?? *flutters eyelids* ... what's that ? You don't like how I walk ? Well you're CERTAINLY not going to like this *click click BOOM* ... I jest, of course.
I think that things are gradually moving forward, and we have made a few notable leaps and bounds recently, so I'm pleased in general with the progress ... I was just throwing the topic out to see whether anybody raised anything I hadn't considered, and I have to say, I've found the responses thusfar to make very interesting reading - keep 'em coming !!
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xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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Like i said about the blood thing, i don't much care for it personally, i can just see why it's there... Doesn't mean i necessarily approve, i'm just not complaining about unfairness.
Far as the work thing goes, there ARE ways i could have pursued it further, and some which i still can should the feeling take me, i just don't particularly want to. I'd rather lick my wounds and just accept that much as everybody says they're down with us ker-ray-zee gays, i'm not gonna get taken seriously. Thanks for the concern though, deeply deeply moved by it, i am  mile:
But it's not as though things are awful, i just think being taken seriously would be the best first step for any changes we want to make.
Oh, and if deparment stores could have a 'gay' section (as they do for menswear, ladies fashions, kidswear etc) which was full of guy clothes designed with the same loving care and attention as women's clothes, with a similar variety rather than just having ot make do witch customising man clothes i think i'd reach nirvana....
xxx
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sox-and-the-city Wrote:Oh, and if deparment stores could have a 'gay' section (as they do for menswear, ladies fashions, kidswear etc) which was full of guy clothes designed with the same loving care and attention as women's clothes, with a similar variety rather than just having ot make do witch customising man clothes i think i'd reach nirvana....
xxx
you should move to Tokyo. You describe the exact kind of clothing I was involved in. We put so much love and care into each piece... even hand stamping each label with fabrication, LOL.
The invite only sales were "nirvana" :tongue:
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