Spineless

[ceez]

So I started a new job and so far I really like it, it's actually the first job that I ever liked. However, I work around a lot of horny heterosexuals, horny to the point where they cheat until they're married. Most of the day they talk about sex and who they would sleep with and as always when someone new comes along the second question is always are you maried and do you have any kids? I'm so freakin sick and tired of hearing that but I'm to weak and afraid to tell them I'm gay. They do have sexual orientation in the descrimination policy at work but you still have to deal with coworkers and when they do find out you are single with no kids then blind dates are set up beccause according to them you have to have pussy.

So far I'm getting away with the "I'm a good Christian boy" act, but I don't know what else to do. I've been doing great ever since I left my last job but today at the end of the shift the topic of kids came up and I was told that I need to have kids now, they just assumed I have a girl somewhere. Since then I've been hit with another wave of depression, I bought plenty of liqour today and plan on drinking the pain away later. I'm starting to doubt everything now, like why do I still go to church if god can't turn me straight and if he is there and accepting then his people still don't so why bother. There are accepting churches but not around here. I'm even starting to doubt whether or not I really am gay, what if they say is true and I just need to try it with a woman first.

Just something I needed to get off my chest. It always seems like the highs are always followed by the lows at the same levels. And once again I'm stressed to the point where I feel like I'm about to lose it.

[matty7]

U go to church because u have faith, and it gives u comfort, dont let ignorant people take that away from you, sounds like your the only one working their with morals anyway mate

[MisterTinkles]

Who your personal dating preferences are, is NONE of their business.
Your personal life is NONE of their business.

Tell them you find that sort of talk, juvenile and offensive.

As for anybody asking me about kids OR getting married....

My standard answer is....

"I can barely afford to take care of me, much less anyone else". So far, to this point in my life, this comment has shut them up to the point they leave me out of their juvenile conversations.

[southbiochem]

If that God you believe in does not turn you straight then the logic dictates that HE MADE YOU LIKE YOU ARE AND LOVES YOU LIKE THIS!

If you're not comfortable telling them you're gay you don't need to but why on earth do you have to put up with them meddling in your life. You say "no, thank you, I'm not interested, I'd like to live my own life thank you very much"

You are not in high school ceez, why do you feel you need to cave to peer pressure. You are way better than that.

About your doubts. Being gay is as simple as: you like dudes, they turn you on, you get emotionally attached to them.

If you feel the same way about women, maybe you can try, but you already know if you do or if you don't. And if you don't then please don't force your self or that poor woman into what will most likely be a source of misery.

There is no such thing ceez as "straigh until proven gay" meaning, there is nothing more idiotic and false than to think "I can't say I'm gay until I have been with a girl"

I am a virgin, I have been with neither sex but I know damn well I like guys and not girls. 15 year old straight dues also know they like women and not men even when they have not been with one. Bisexual guys know they like both, one more than the other or both equaly.

You know it too.

Don't let people at your age bully you like this, ceez, and you certainly don't let them have you thinking you need to try girls if you indeed know you like guys.

You don't let religious bigots tell you that God doesn't love you cause you're gay cause it's NOT TRUE.

HE DOES.

You are big enough in age to stop these guys, come on. Cheaters are going to tell you what to do with your life? Stand up, walk away and do your job.

And if they find out you are gay, you said it yourself, you are protected by legislation. Nothing to fear.

[partis]

My ex boyfriend of two years is in this same type of situation, he works in a really quite masculine orientated enviroment where theres still homophobia even if its playful though its more accepted to be gay female, there is dinners and things to attend and he was always tells me how hes getting asked why he is single and does he want a date etc

I can understand your problem but i think the longer you leave it the more it will bother you and will become more important than it should be, good luck.

[dfiant1]

This is the reason that organised religion annoys me so much because you shouldn't have to be a slave to anyone elses opinion of you and who you are.

You are who you are for a good reason, because it is up to you to lead the best possible life for you and be the best possible person you can be.

As for the workplace situation, I know that in Australia the workplace harrasment and discrimination laws cover such practices as be asked your age, marital status and how many children you have...put quiet simply, ask someone person questions like that and the person is made to feel uncofortable, you can be disciplined and if further breaches occur, you can be terminated. A fact that I make painfully clear to my staff when I hire them.

[marshlander]

Good luck, ceez. Sorry you are having a tough time. Nothing wrong in doubting to the point where you need to ask the questions you've never had the courage to ask before. I suspect if you take a step back and have a think about why God isn't making you straight you'll come to some conclusions that might well free you from a huge burden.

So what if what they say is true and you need to try it with a woman first? How do they know they are straight? Presumably they all tried it with men before they made their decisions?

As to the arrogance in telling you you need to have children now - the mind boggles!!

[justbry87]

I used to work at a place where if I had said I wasn't straight things could've
gotten real awkward real fast.

They'd talk about pretty much the same things you mentioned if not probably
a bit more graphic. I'd just sit there and pretty much tune it out and do my work,
cause that's what you're suppose to do.. at work.

I was well liked because I worked fast and efficient and everyone wanted to get
done early. I talked about myself, but nothing TOO personal, just superficial things
cause half the time it was mainly them talking AT me so I never really got a word in,
not that I wanted to.

It's work, you're not really there to make friends with people. They're your co-workers
and unless you want to make friends with them outside of work, then you don't really
owe them your life story or an explanation.

As for the religion bit, I'm not Christian but I believe that your personal relationship
with your God is yours. You shouldn't let an establishment speak for however you view
divinity. The doubts and questions you have will get answered someday cause the answers
are already within you, you just gotta give yourself time to figure it out. It's not a race
after all.

feel better 'n' good luck :]

[CellarDweller]

There are rules about harassment in the workplace, you can make a complaint about the talk in general.

I am out at work, it's a great feeling, but I know not everyone can have that benefit.

[austin]

[SIZE="3"]I hope everything works out for you and your job. And dont let them get you down , they arent worth the worry.

What matters is you and who you are. If your uncomfortable with them then try and avoid them if possible. Are there any jobs there were you wont be around them as much?

As for trying a woman , my first was a girl and the relationship was 3 yrs. I guess were she was my first i still have feelings for her But she is the only girl i would have. [/SIZE]