Spineless

[Woollyhats]

Hmm... I'm not actually out at work, but I shoot down any attempts to flirt (even though it's usually jokingly), invitations to the bar, etc. I'm like 95% by this point they know I'm gay, and are polite about it.

I actually enjoy this. I do feel that it makes me a little separate from my coworkers, but I make up for it by working harder then them.

If someone were to directly harass me over it, I would just report it. Also, I'd be fine if it ever 'got out' that I'm gay --- it's not a secret --- but neither is it relevent to work.

Maybe thinking about it like that might help?

[ceez]

thank you to all that replied, will post more when sober.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

There is a saying in AA:

Secrets keep us sick...

or conversely

Secrets make us sick....

The sick part is turning to a lot of bottles of spirits to wash away ones 'problems'...

Trust me, that doesn't work... No really it doesn't - yeah sure last month or so I was back on the saddle - so to speak, but honestly did that solve anything? No.....

The secret: You're gay, your single, your clearly waiting for the right man to come down the pike - clearly you ain't into free love type sex, this ain't the 1970's, its the 21st century.

Church.

Do you have a faith? If yes then by all means do (or don't) find a church of people who share the same faith as you. This might help to that effort: http://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/

Do NOT use your faith as a weapon of mass distraction. Or destruction or a weapon - period. Its not a defensive weapon, it is not an offensive weapon. Faith is about love, and God and something I don't know - not a weapon.

They cheat - fine, you're a liar - which sin is greater?

Um neither.... (In case you forgot).

You are lying... and that isn't ending well for you.

Yes, perhaps you are not really interested in random sex with random people. If that is the case then say that - don't say 'I'm a good Christian' - Lord knows plenty of people have used that line to justify all manner of evil. This just isn't who I am - so be it, they will hate you for not being promiscuous.

Once they get used to THAT idea, then blow them away with.... Oh and I'm gay too... Let them do the linkage in their head about all the stereotypes about gays having to be promiscuous.


This holding it in about your sexuality isn't doing you any favors, if anything its causing you to question yourself and start down a fools journey - other than drinking problems away, but thinking that if you find the right woman....

No Sir, there is no right woman - you ain't wired that way... And the longer science keeps plowing this subject the more convinced science is that it biological and as immutable as the color of your skin your height, your extra nipple (if you got it) hard wired into the body.

Now you do not have to take a full page ad out in the Sunday newspaper, but do by all means not hide who and what are. You don't even have to say 'I'm gay' say something like, 'I'm waiting for the right guy to come along.'

BTW this setting you up with people, this shoving their sex lives down your throat by talking about it all the time... I think its time you talk to human resources to please define what sexual harassment at the work place means in this area.... It may be an eye opening experience.

[ceez]

thanks again guys

@Bowyn- I never really thought about it that way.

I think I will go to HR if it does get worse, what's screwing me up now is we work in pairs and my partner talks about it the most, but from what I understand I could be switched with someone else at any time.

[jpmachados]

In my opinion, in your work place you can't be who you really are... you need to be someone that can be easier acceptable... I'm not saying that you need to be fake, you need to be more reserved and avoid talk about your private life...

Try to find someone that thinks like you or similar and speaks with these guys only the necessary and about work... Don't try to be heterossexual, it doesn't Works... it seems fake.. hahah..
I prefere girls to talk in my work... ;P

About your hope, don't change.. keep going to the church and talking with god... it works a lot....

Do your job.. no one needs to know about your life... they just need to know how good if your work..

[Rainbowmum]

So sorry you can't be the magnificent person you are at work sweetie.
Just stick to your values and ignore them , from what I know about these type of men is if they are constantly talking about it they are not getting it.mile: