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Found a red flag
#11
I know some people have said not to discuss it as you might not want to look like the insecure and clingy boyfriend that is always spying on the other partner... but if this particular case affects and hurts you to this extent, please talk it over with him.

I'm sorry to tell you that I think the personals were probably his doing,,, he probably freaked out when you found them and knew nothing good would come out from confessing, remember that if this is the case it was probably an insignificant wank for him and nothing else... so he thought it better to keep it shut...

But as I said, let him know these type of things affect you... Why is he looking elsewhere what he has already in the bedroom? Perhaps you two need to start exploring different approaches to your sexy time ^.^ -sorry love the term-

Remember sex is always more fun when there is more than one person involved...
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#12
Commitment is commitment. If it bothers you talk about it. Sometime a red flag is just that "a red flag".

While doing so you admit you are a snooper, which may bring up an entirely different set of issues.

Good luck
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