Found Something on My Boyfriend's Phone

[ffffffff1000000]

So I was looking at my boyfriend's phone while he was in the bathroom.
I know I should trust him more. I am trying to learn to trust again after my last relationship but it is hard for me.
I hadn't checked his phone in months and I used to do it once a week. I know I am rationalizing my bad behavior (ie checking his phone) and I know I should stop doing that but it's really hard fr me to trust guys.
I trusted him more than I trusted anyone.
While I was on his phone, I looked at his Sent emails and saw that he had sent countless pictures to himself of guys nudes he had screenshotted. (I can tell he screenshotted them and they weren't from a website because they all had the same style clock/battery life at the top.
I downloaded Kik and Grindr back onto his phone (they were the only apps like that) said "forgot password" changed his password, logged in, and saw that he had been messaging countless guys to get pictures of them naked.
I confronted him and he told me the truth (he didn't say they were from a blog, but rather he tricked straight guys by using a picture of a girl) and only stopped because he felt bad FOR THE GUYS HE WAS TRICKING. He did not feel bad about doing it to me and didn't see why it was inappropriate to do while in a relationship with me.

He had no intention of ever telling me he had been talking to other guys because it "wasn't (him)" talking to them; it was a made up fake girl.

I feel so betrayed and I already had trust issues; now I feel like I can never trust him again. It's even worse because he didn't tell me he was doing it.

I don' know what to do. Am I overreacting?

[TwisttheLeaf]

Time to move on to someone new. And when you do? You need to get on the same page with this person FROM THE BEGINNING as to what you both want from a relationship, and what constitutes as cheating.

Incidentally? I don't consider the snoop to be that big of a deal, although I know many who would. It's the difference between having a partner who says "here, take all my passwords and feel free to look in whenever you want if you feel like it" or one that's secretive and withholding.

[ffffffff1000000]

Thanks for our point of view. I don't think I am ready to give up on this relationship. There are lots of good points.
I made it clear I didn't want him going on cam websites and he agreed because he said it was inappropriate of his. This is worse than watching people on camera to me but I guess not to him for whatever reason.

[Pyromancer]

I don't know that I'd call it cheating, but it's pretty damn creepy...pretending to be a girl to get nude pics from straight guys...UGH...there's such a thing as being respectful of other people's preferences...IDK, maybe it's just me, but that would turn me off him altogether...

[ceez]

I don't know about this one, I mean, I know I'm not the most qualified person here to give relationship advice but it doesn't sound like he wanted to meet with any of these guys it was just kind of a creepy fetish he had. I would give it another try since you two talked it over.

[Yelly]

Ok, that one's a weird and why in this world would he do that? I mean, he has u already and is he not contented on you?! U know what? TwisttheLeaf is right, move on. u deserve a normal, as in a good one.

[jimcrackcorn]

Someone stop the world and let me off!!!

If a straight guy will show you his private parts on Grindr or Kik,,,,, where do I sign up!!!! (smile)... At my age, I don't care what anybody thinks,, thats one wild way to trick the straight guys into sending you nude pics. It's even better than sneaking a peek at them in the gym changing room..............................

Dirty old man,
JIm

[Camfer]

Well hmm. I'm not sure this is any betrayal at all. What was your agreement about such matters? So maybe your boyfriend jerks off to straight guys' pics. How and why do you find that threatening? Do you think that just because you are in a relationship with someone that you completely own their sexuality? If so, he needs to know that. Sounds like a largely unthreatening, harmless kink. What are the chances he's actually cheating with the deceived straight guys? I'd guess 0%.

I'm not saying it's right for you to be with him. I am saying that if you want to be that controlling of your BF, he needs to know it in advance. If anyone should be upset it would be the duped straight guys.

[ffffffff1000000]

He also messaged guys on Grindr which is a gay app. i don't think it's ok to be talking to oher guys behind your partners back.
He agreed not to go on webcam websites agreeing that it was inappropriate. I am hardly controlling. We set guidelines so there's no question about what is and isn't ok in our relationship and he did not follow those guidelines.

I was afraid he would grow close to one of the gay guys mostly.

I also didn't like the fact that he didn't find it necessary to tell me about it.

[Lexington]

If I weren't in an open relationship, this sort of thing would weird me out. I wouldn't consider it "cheating", though, because he obviously didn't have a relationship with these guys. He wasn't ever giing to meet them and do something sexual with them, or even do a camming session or anything. But it would creep me out because he lied to these guys to get nude photos. There's plenty of photos of cock on the internet - one doesn't have to gomtrawling for it. Maybe he enjoyed the thrill of getting "straight dick photos", but whatever it is, it seems a bit off. Also, he "stopped" be ause he "felt bad for them"... but still had the photos? Apparently, he didn't feel THAT bad...

And that was a lot of work to find that out. I mean, reinstalling an app and saying you "forgot your password" to gain access to his accounts? That's a few steps beyond just "seeing what's on the phone".

So yeah, break up with him. And hope your next guy gives you 100% access to everything he owns, or at least covers his tracks better.

Lex