Internet friends

[partis]

How well do you know people on the internet compared to in your physical life?

Do you think you can learn more about a person… given the personal information we can give about ourselves or learn less as we have more time to place words to portray them how we wish or even inacurately?

Do you feel affection to your internet friends and think about them? (what do you think)

In regards to this forum or any forum you go to and other social media

[HumbleTangerine]

Although there are a lot of people I enjoy talking to online, I guess I'd only say I have one actual internet friend. I see your point about people being more willing to be honest online, but I've noticed that a lot of people lie. They lie very obviously about scenarios that are way too naive and idealized to have ever happened. I'm not sure what they stand to gain from doing so but eh...

There's this one guy I've been talking to on and off for almost around 2 years now. He's pretty cool actually, and he lives in Glasgow so, I don't know, in a way I wonder if I'll ever meet him once I go there.

[MisterTinkles]

Anybody can lie. Lies are more prone to the internet, because you are "hidden" via the internet.

It is more difficult to hide things face to face, as you can see and hear tone inflection, facial expression, and body language, which can give lies away.

Over technological devices, it's so easy to get anyone to fall in love with you, if you are a player.

Why do you think SO many people have problems when finally meeting someone they met online? They claim they did not look or "sound" like the person they got to "know" over the internet.

It's difficult enough to get to know someone in real life.........you are just fooling yourself if you believe everything that is said to you online.

[Pix]

Not sure how to answer that, but here are some observations:

I share thoughts online with strangers that I never would in real life. One thing I've learned is that many people prefer predictability over originality or even difference, and it's a lesson that started young for me when teachers kept giving me special privileges to read & write as long as I didn't ask questions (and often sent to the office when I did) to even losing friendships with people when I revealed too much of my thoughts about something--not being blunt about them, but like views on political issues when I get too chatty after having more to drink than I should or when a quip that slipped out had me explaining Discordianism to neighbors who never looked at me the same way again.

I have to be especially sensitive about that in business, at least if I don't want to end up homeless, and as a lot of interaction is required on my part to show they can trust me (especially in the past) I had to watch what I said very carefully because ideals and honest opinions don't put food on the table or a roof over the head (not to say I scammed anyone--a few exceptions who I decided deserved it and were trying to scam me excepted--but, for example, if someone went on about how important the Olympics were to civilization and anyone who didn't watch spellbound were contemptible I'd just play along like what they said made perfect sense).

As a result, casual acquaintances on the net can know me a lot better than those in real life, and may even know things about me that I don't casually share with anyone. At the same time those OL will miss so many petty details, and they tend to imagine all sorts of "tones of voice" and facial expressions and such onto anything posted that were not intended by the poster and thus easily get the wrong idea which would almost certainly not happen if meeting IRL (In Real Life).

OTOH, people on the net exposed to my frank honesty can still be very surprised should they meet me. For example, when I was 18 I met an online neopagan I'd corresponded with for about a year and was very excited to meet me...but stunned when I got off the bus pretty much like a goth and a trenchcoat that proclaimed me a pagan (while she was in the "broom closet" for that). She'd always pictured me as more nerdy, probably with glasses, and was stunned by how I appeared. We did things together but she--not only in the broom closet but also in her early 30s--was uncomfortable being seen with me and after we chanced upon friends of hers who asked all sorts of questions about who I was she avoided me. It was only after I moved out of the city that she started talking to me again OL.

'Course people can make the wrong impressions IRL and OL. Because of how I dressed (apparently a studded belt being the key component) a much older guy thought I was a dominatrix of some kind and wanted me to whip him, and apparently my telling him to leave me alone was part of an "act" of what I did, I was SUPPOSE to reject him (at first). Meanwhile, a goth male I only knew online decided I was his soul mate (and wouldn't listen to anything I had to say on the matter) which would presumably include me being a dominatrix since that was what he was into. Both were equally wrong about me.

'Course people with amazing chemistry online can fizzle for no apparent reason when meeting up in real life, so maybe if my internet stalker were to find me (as he tried) he might've realized I wasn't the fantasy he'd created in his head (heh, might've been interesting how that goth obsessed with me would've reacted to my Texas twang that he didn't realize I had). That happens to a lot of people.

[James]

Some people on the internet know things which I would never talk about in "physical life" but I am reserved with most unless my inner demon gets loose, then they may find out things they didn't want to know

[Bowyn Aerrow]

After Blue I have come to the conclusion that no one can be trusted, in real life or on the internet. I may pretend to be all buddy buddy and close - reality is I have put up several walls and built trebuchets to keep everyone out of my Forrest of Solitude. Anyone starts getting close me now (in real life or the internet) I shut that puppy down or become super careful.

Blue cured me of any delusions that human beings know what truth is. Furthermore, that whole affair reminds me that in real life I have seen the SOS - starting with my mother, going through Vincent (my second partner) and accumulating with my last partner who lied through his fucking teeth without remorse on a near daily basis for 12 of the years were together. So face to face doesn't produce any more truth than pixels on a screen.

And if the personal ads he has out there is any indicator, he hasn't learned and is busy constructing new lies (drug disease free is one of his favorites) preparing for his next partner... Demonstrating and reinforcing in my mind that all of those personal ads I see where guys claim they are disease free - well I seriously doubt that is true.

The species has been weighed in the scales and has been found wanting...

Sorry if anyone is offended to learn that I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. But owing to a lifetime of experiences can you blame me?

[MisterTinkles]

After Blue I have come to the conclusion that no one can be trusted, in real life or on the internet. I may pretend to be all buddy buddy and close - reality is I have put up several walls and built trebuchets to keep everyone out of my Forrest of Solitude. Anyone starts getting close me now (in real life or the internet) I shut that puppy down or become super careful.

Now I know why I dont get response emails from you any more.

No biggie, I understand.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

See one of my latest threads I started, I believe its entitled 'I'm sorry'....

[CellarDweller]

I have pretty good relationships online, and some of them have progressed to face-to-face relationships.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

No online relationships/friendships.

I enjoy being part of the forum though and would like to think that I'm open and truthful with any exchanges I have. Very few 1-2-1 messages.

I have a handful, maybe 6-7 people in real life, who Im happy to discuss most thing with, but there is some personal stuff that I would probably not share on a face to face basis.

I used to have a couple of iFriends, but thats going back a few years. Because of my background (Military Comms) I was always very wary of discussing to much personal detail or getting overly involved with them.

ObW
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