My boyfriend is too strong

[princealbertofb]

I think seeing a doctor to see if there's anything wrong with you... is a good idea, just in case there's a medical condition that can be seen to. Taking things slower and more carefully is also a good idea. Wearing padding, although suggested a bit as a joke, may not be such a bad idea. Avoid rough edges, have your boyfriend handle the edge of the bed, or the headboard or anything other than you when he finds he needs to take a firm grip on something... I'm sure he can learn to be more gentle, and you can learn to guide him better. Last but not least, get on top and you do the moving that needs to be done. Tie him to the headboard, handcuff him... it can become part of your sex play... :tongue:

[MisterLove]

Yes, something similar happened to me once. He was not an athlete or anything but somehow he couldn't touch me without hurting me, I can't really explain it. I didn't like it AT ALL and I never saw him again.

[ChadCoxRox]

I vote for control. I LOVE sucking on the neck and such and it invariably leaves evidence of passion. I've had to learn control so my bf does not feel embarrassed when he goes out in public. I've played the "I just can't help myself" card too many times and still have to deliberately control myself. Maybe your bf is not channeling enough passion, just energy?? Not sure what that means, but I do know that in learning to control my own passion I had to learn ways to channel it because there is no satisfying the urge otherwise. Sooooo I curb the behavior by both PRACTICED "flat out control" and channeling the passion to other things like sucking elsewhere (the weakest alternative but of course most gratifying) to owing him a buck for every time he finds a publically visible mark (the strongest alternative because I'm a tight wad with my bux). The key is communication. He is willing to engage me about and admits that liking it and being embarrassed requires compromise and expecting such is not unreasonable. I don't believe there is anything at all to be concerned about your health or sensitivity. Lastly, I agree with the notion of being open and assertive with the communications with both your partner and others it might concern. You need to help with the training and he needs to care enough to make the effort.

[ChadCoxRox]

Say for every bruise you have say "that's a week of celibacy i hope it was worth it" and you'll see just how genital he can be.

LMBO! love the context of the word genital!

[frachas]

Oh yeah, me too!! Imagine that you were me, I'm 5'3" and maybe 110 pounds at most. Plus, I kinda love bigger lovers. This one guy was over six feet and about 220 and a former fighter. Really. He always told me how I was lovable and he couldn't get enough of me -- but he would frequently almost fuck me to death. One time I had to go to the doctor (very embarrassing!) to be checked out in the most private areas, and he left me limping several times. In spite of all of that, I am not complaining. He and I had a real thing for each other despite his inability to be more gentle, and I missed him for the longest time when we broke up. In my opinion: there's worse things in a bf than being loved a bit too much.

[ardus]

I've been in the other position before, I've accidentally bruised and even hurt before just getting carried away with passion.

I had the same reaction I was horrified to see bruises I had caused.


It's all about calling attention to it, if you bring it to his attention it will become something he pays attention to, and that should take care of the problem.

Richard

[Brett240]

I've studied karate since I was 6 years old and have a 1st degree black belt. I also play hockey (goalie) which is a bit of a rough sport. However, I don't typically go around bruising or crushing people.
Karate, the way I was taught, is first and foremost a discipline. It's about focus and control. Your BF might benefit from talking this situation over with his sensei or with a practitioner of higher rank and greater experience. It's obviously purely unintentional on his part, but he can learn to rein it in.

[1285pytk]

This is actually very cute, but a bit concerning. I guess, point it out. Keep pointing out and just be aware. Or, why don't you build up your strength?