How to deal with ocd?

[Kackerlacka]

Well, I know I am making another post. This onw is more centered with a purpose. I have relationship ocd, its basically a doubt if your in love or not for someone who has ocd. I do have ocd, my old username was ocdDan. Anyways, im unsure of how to handle this. Im just doubting my love. I know I love her. But I have so much anxiety built up im worried I dont. Its so difficult to deal with. I have no reason to doubt my love, sometimes i doubt it..sometimes I have no doubt I love her. Its hard to deal with, like I want to talk ot her and call her all the time she does not annoy me. But at the same time im afraid of this obsession and I wanna be as far away from her as posible because I get anxiety worrying That I dont love her. And when Im gone My anxiety is down but I miss her a lot. Its like so contradicting. This just came up now a week ago. I have been with hr for 2 years.....It just came up because we had a movie week when she was away and we watched movies all day but never talked. We just called and picked out a movie and sat there quietly until she fell asleep. Then finally after that week we decidded to just call on the phone, and I had no idea what to talk about and neither she. So when this happened I got worried and went "omg what if I dont love her anymore and thats why this happened" And now its hell for me. She said she said the same thing but she was able to put it off because she knew it was juts from the movie week and she knew she still loved me after a day and she pushed it out of her mind so easily, of course me...I couldnt I have ocd. So I need help please I know I love her its just so hard to get through my ocd thoughts

[Kackerlacka]

and please think before you post. Dont say "well maybe you dont love her" that will just cause me more obsession and anxiety and depression. Im not here to have my fear fed into!

[Woollyhats]

It sounds like you love her, but maybe you're not doing very much of substance with her? When you find you don't have a lot to talk about, sometimes doing more things apart gives you more to talk about when you're together. Paradoxically, doing more unusual and interesting things that you don't normally do might help too.

Also, you may eventually find that if you stay together for long enough, you may find you go long periods without talking... think of the relationship your grandparents have if you have them, they may not be that close physically, and often sit in comfortable quiet. They do that because eventually people often reach a stage where they're quietly comfortable with the person they love. That doesn't mean they aren't intimate or even that they're bored, it just means they're comfy and used to each other's presence. I think it's normal over time to learn to just be comfortable in each other's presence even when you're not actively doing things together.

So no, I don't think having quiet moments means you are falling out of love necessarily, especially if you don't have serious problems and are otherwise close. Although making time for dates and being spontaneous will help you to be romantic for longer.

Also! If you really want to spark a heated conversation, disagree with her on something. Just be ready to be wrong. Women are always right :tongue:

[Kackerlacka]

It sounds like you love her, but maybe you're not doing very much of substance with her? When you find you don't have a lot to talk about, sometimes doing more things apart gives you more to talk about when you're together. Paradoxically, doing more unusual and interesting things that you don't normally do might help too.

Also, you may eventually find that if you stay together for long enough, you may find you go long periods without talking... think of the relationship your grandparents have if you have them, they may not be that close physically, and often sit in comfortable quiet. They do that because eventually people often reach a stage where they're quietly comfortable with the person they love. I think it's normal over time to learn to just be comfortable in each other's presence even when you're not actively doing things together.

So no, I don't think having quiet moments means you are falling out of love necessarily, especially if you don't have serious problems and are otherwise close. Although making time for dates and being spontaneous will help you to be romantic for longer.

Also! If you really want to spark a heated conversation, disagree with her on something. Just be ready to be wrong. Women are always right :tongue:

Well, I talk to her all day every day constantly text 24/7! and we still do!!! Im not growing apart form her, I just have this doubtful fear in me!! But thanks this post helped a lot, i need to get this off my chest

[Rainbowmum]

I can't say for sure , only you know what your heart is saying.

Have you considered professional help ?
It will give you the tools you need to cope as well as the knowledge of what your trigger points are.

[Kackerlacka]

I can't say for sure , only you know what your heart is saying.

Have you considered professional help ?
It will give you the tools you need to cope as well as the knowledge of what your trigger points are.

Yes, I am going to a new therapist on Tuesday. I need it

[Kackerlacka]

Btw, last night I vidoe chatted her and knew i liked her and wanted to be with her and loved her etc..then woke up this morning and started doubting...and also like 4 days ago, for a little more than half the day I knew I loved her and was beign all lovey dovey on the phone and stuff

How do I know what my heart says also. I dont get it. What defines that, what does that mean.....

[Kackerlacka]

anyone else have any advice or info?

[southbiochem]

As I have mentioned to you several times, you need to keep up with the therapy you're doing, keep up the anxiety medication (I hope doc prescribed something milder to you than the last one)

Have you read the PDF? Read it again and try to exercise those steps and see if they help you break out of your fixations.

Right now your fears maybe unfounded, remember your anxiety levels are high while having OCD and you will place that anxiety fixating on an idea.

Since the GF knows about your condition, I bet you can count on her giving you a realistic approach about the relationship.

mile:

[Kackerlacka]

As I have mentioned to you several times, you need to keep up with the therapy your doing, keep up the anxiety medication (I hope doc prescribed something milder to you than the last one)

Have you read the PDF? Read it again and try to exercise those steps and see if they help you break out of your fixations.

Right now your fears maybe unfounded, remember your anxiety levels are high while having OCD and you will place that anxiety fixating on an idea.

Since the GF knows about your condition, I bet you can count on her giving you a realistic approach about the relationship.

mile:

south you are a very wise person!!!!! thats why u are my number one go to person, but i hate bothering you all the time. thanks!!!!