Mickcloud9 Wrote:The reason I think I will be outed is I had became good friends with this colleague and thought it best to be up front about my sexuality. However it's hasn't went down too well with him and he has started acting differently towards me. I am very straight acting. Just kinda shocked at how people can change their view of you. It's not like am gonna try n jump him to have sex with him. Just don't get it!
I hate to say it but this and many other negative potentials exist when we come out to people.
I think there is a period of time before we do out that we test the waters, put the individual or the whole group in the scales and see if they balance out or if they are wanting.
Such as asking things like 'So what do you think of Arizona's new law to discriminate against the gays?' or 'Have you ever wondered when our state will allow gay marriage?'
Understand most bigots will be the first to bring up the subject of their hatred they usually do it carefully in the form of minor jokes. If you laughter o smirk or appear to find the minor jokes funny, they start pushing the limits to see just how deep your hatred runs.
I for one desire to to live by policy that I am open and honest about my sexuality, but not feeling a need to shove it down the throats of others. No straight person feels compelled to tell me they are straight, instead their general conversations about who they look at/date/live with, etc tells me all I need to know.
If someone asks you 'do you have a girlfriend?' All you have to say "No." - you don't have to explain WHY it is you do not have a girlfriend. Hey its not your fault if they do not know how to ask questions, thus get all confused when they say they know this gal they could set you up with and you say, 'Um, No thanks. I'm not interested.'
There is absolutely no reason for you to 'come out' and tell people 'I'm gay'. I assure you, once you get a boy friend, get married, buy a house together and settle in for the long haul people may actually notice (don't hold your breath there are a lot of really dense people out there).
You are not compelled to tell anyone your sexual orientation. There is no law stating you must tell everyone, and since I seriously doubt you work in the sex industry (say making porn) that your sexuality will affect your performance at work... who really needs to know? did this guy really need to know?
I say take this experience as a learning experience, you have learned how some people (not all mind you) can react poorly to such news.
We live in a strange time in history when we have a minor majority who are for the LGBT community, thus chances are pretty high that if this dude 'outs' you it may backfire badly for him.