Really regretting who I lost my virginity to

[Arkansota]

I don't feel comfortable with talking about the specifics (and if you remember, please DON'T bring them up) but I feel really uncomfortable with losing it to the guy I lost it to. What do I do?

[findingmyway]

This is going to sound so unhelpful, but I would say try and place it in the past and move on. There's nothing you can do to turn back time. You are not happy with what happened and you can accept that, but regret at this stage changes nothing. Think of it as a learning lesson. What did you learn that you can apply towards your future?

[Kackerlacka]

I am in no way trying to be mean.

But, its over and done with. You cant change it. Its something you will just hae to accept. Although, yes you do regret it. Just stuff it away as just another lesson learned!

OR

you can just say it does not count because it wasn't with someone you wanted to be with.
And therefore give yourself the V-card again!

And I do not know your story. so if it was something horrible that happened like rape then im extremely sorry. If that is the case the disregard those top 2 suggestions.

Anyways, hope all is well man! The world keeps turning! try not to be stuck like me on every thing in life, no reason too hate yourself for any decision that was made. Cheers and good lucK

[Bowyn Aerrow]

you have two choices:

Sit on it, spin on it and let it slowly devour your life with regret

OR

Let it go, move on and let time wipe it from your memory banks.

[Kackerlacka]

you have two choices:

Sit on it, spin on it and let it slowly devour your life with regret

OR

Let it go, move on and let time wipe it from your memory banks.

Couldnt have said it better

[Wardo94]

Same what he said. What happened, happened and it shouldn't affect you right now. Just know that just because you lost your virginity to someone you didn't want to, it won't stop you from having good intimate times with other future relationships.

[hank]

Can't change the past. Learn from it live with it love yourself and just be. There is nothing you can do. Is your current boyfriend better? If so, you have that love. Cherish it don't dwell on the past.

[LONDONER]

Years ago I was having lunch with a friend and there was a bottle of olive oil on the table labelled "Extra Virgin Olive Oil". I mused out loud: "I wonder what 'Extra Virgin' means?" Quick as a flash my friend replied: "It means you get a second chance"!

Unfortunately for you, you aren't a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

[jogu656]

well I regret my first time too but that experience helped me grow and learned to never make a mistake like that again, if im not physically and emotionally attracted I know now to move on and find someone else

[Axanderb]

virginity is a social construct put in place to keep women in check. the concept is meaningless...what is more important is being able to change your situation to best suite your sexual wants and needs. I understand how years and years of social programming have left you feeling like someone actually took something from you...and by saying that i absolutely do NOT mean to undermine the emotion behind having sex for the first time...but simply to illustrate that nothing was taken from you and YOU are still empowered to direct your sexual future in a path that is more suited to your emotional/sexual needs.

But what you shouldn't be doing is beating yourself up over having sex with someone who turned out to be a turd. At points in our lives we all go through certain motions that leave us feeling compromised...we have to realize that this is how life pans out and these are lessons we are learning in order to obtain what we are truly looking for. I hope your first partner was at least respectful during the act and made it as comfortable as possible.

(hopefully your first experience wasn't abusive or didn't leave your health compromised...If it did please disregard everything I said.)

*in either scenario seeking counseling would be helpful