Login

03-14-2014, 10:21 PM

so i come out that im gay 10 years ago some off the family trund there backs on me today i find out the there is a wedding nexts week all the family are going to the wedding but me as i did not get invited to it.
i live with my dad and look after him as he has disabilitys after a moterbike crash and my sis life down the road thay was invited they sent my dads invit to my sis so i did not find out.
so i feel like shit and on my own as the family do not care or is it just me been silly?

03-15-2014, 02:20 AM

I understand you feel left out and it's hard to cope with that

But, please, people turning their back on you because of your sexual orientation are not people you would want to be anywhere near.

You can imagine how they would make snarky comments if you were there.

I will say they COULD BE a little more appreciative about the fact that you are the one talking care of your father.

That is just irritating behavior. You're bad because you're gay so they won't let you attend gathering but they're still good you have your dad with you to take care of.

Unfortunately, this is the set of relatives you were cursed with. In time, you need to let them go and live your own life, and let them hate. They will think of you certainly but you won't be thinkng of them. It's the best thing you can do.

And we, GS folks, are always a quick PM away if you want to talk to someone

03-15-2014, 02:47 AM

Wow... How irritating. You could make a huge seen and make them regret it, but at the same time if you have no relationship with the people being married who cares.

If you are close to your father and sister it might be reasonable to ask them not to go though.

ceez · 03-15-2014, 03:15 AM

I already mentally prepared myself for if my family finds out, I already know it will be pretty much the same except for a couple attempted exorcisms.

03-15-2014, 03:30 AM

Having been largely disowned by family members I got used to the whole family doing things I a sneaky way so as to not have to invite the faggots (my elder brother was gay too). It only hurts for a few times, then you realize one day that frankly you are better off not being around people who hate you for some stupid reason.

I think how it works is that since they invited your Dad, even in this round about way, they invited him AND his caregiver. And that caregiver is you.

If you really want to go someplace you are not wanted you can insists that your Dad needs you and go.

Mind it won't be fun, since people will be hating at you in silence.

03-28-2014, 08:53 PM

Obviously I don't know the precise situation but I would just for all intents and purposes "divorce" your family. F**k them. As Bowyn said, if they can't accept & love you then they are not worth caring about.

There are plenty of people in the world that can love and care about you.

03-28-2014, 09:03 PM

You sound like a fantastic guy, to me. You take care of your dad who has a disability after a motor bike accident and your family is making you the outlier. Where were they when your dad needed them? At least it sounds like one guy is okay with who you are (I assume your father accepts you since you are caring for him). As for the rest? That is their loss. Most people would have spit in their families face and cut them off, entirely, but you are caring for one of them and actually worry about the rest enough to care about going to see them take the next big step in life with a marriage.

Whatever you do, keep your head held high. You are the bigger man here. Do you have friends you can talk to or turn to for help? Do you have a significant other of your own?

03-28-2014, 09:20 PM

sy274 Wrote:so i come out that im gay 10 years ago some off the family trund there backs on me today i find out the there is a wedding nexts week all the family are going to the wedding but me as i did not get invited to it.
i live with my dad and look after him as he has disabilitys after a moterbike crash and my sis life down the road thay was invited they sent my dads invit to my sis so i did not find out.
so i feel like shit and on my own as the family do not care or is it just me been silly?

I disowned my brother, who told his son that I'm a bad influence. It's sad, but tis life. Nothing is ever one sided. You're 30, and o tell us the real reason why you're taking care of you dad. Are you going to do it for the rest of his life? Can he afford help, is he insured? Are you doing it for free rent? Are you doing it for homosexual penance? More info needed here.

03-29-2014, 02:47 AM

Were I your dad I would take care of this for you, by asking point blank for some clarification about whether or not my son was also invited, and adding in no uncertain terms that I would not be attending without my son.

James · 03-29-2014, 02:07 PM

I understand what you are saying, being as most of the family was against me, It took awhile to realize that I didn't need to associate we people who found me dispicable. However after Dad's heart attack and Mom's failing health, I was the only one still in the area to help, so I did. Wouldn't have existed without them. The others in the family would come by but nothing was said about the before time.
You have to do what is right for you because if you don't take care of yourself, you can not take care of anyone else, Jim