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Insecurity issue
#1
Hey there, so I am in a new relationship, my first one in a long time, and well my boyfriend and I have not gone all the way yet, but we have fooled around. Anyways here is the situation. I feel like when we finally go all the way, that I won't be "good". During our fooling around I discovered his stamina is insanely good, he can last an extremely long time. Twenty minutes of me performing oral, and using my hand at some points, and nothing, still going. I mean he was loving it, I know that, but my issue is, my stamina is no where near that good, with those anyway, maybe 10 minutes if I'm lucky. It's quite embarrassing. Thankfully I managed to survive it all, and control myself. So I am wondering if anyone has any tips or advice on building up my stamina, and just lasting longer, I really don't want to disappoint, and I fear that I will. =/
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#2
if by stamina you mean you cum quick or fast, I had that problem, what works for me is to go at it but when I feel close or near to cumming, I stop focus on stimulation of the other person in other ways then as I calm down I continue and repeat that way I last longer
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#3
practice makes perfect.
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#4
I don't think it's really within your power to control how much stimulation you need, before you cum. You can help yourself lasting longer by:

jogu656 Wrote:if by stamina you mean you cum quick or fast, I had that problem, what works for me is to go at it but when I feel close or near to cumming, I stop focus on stimulation of the other person in other ways then as I calm down I continue and repeat that way I last longer

As in, by getting close and then stopping.
If your realtionship becomes long-term, your boyfriend will come to understand that you've got an easier time coming than he does and then you can both work towards trying to reach climax at the same time. Or whatever floats your boat, ofcourse.

Also, could it be that he worked hard not to cum, because he thought you didn't want him to?

There's also a flipside to the same coin, having a huge stamina is also embarassing. Your partner is already done and you're trying to get done, but can't.
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#5
The average amount of time it takes for males to reach climax is 7 minutes.

10 minutes is longer than average.


There are desensitizing methods and creams.... however couples who work together, learn each others limits, can time their orgasms and do other interesting things to delay the one until the other is ready.

That is where multiple sessions with the same person comes in handy, you really get to know how that person ticks, their turn on's their buttons and the secret combination that sets them off rapidly.
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#6
Cuddly Wrote:I don't think it's really within your power to control how much stimulation you need, before you cum. You can help yourself lasting longer by:



As in, by getting close and then stopping.
If your realtionship becomes long-term, your boyfriend will come to understand that you've got an easier time coming than he does and then you can both work towards trying to reach climax at the same time. Or whatever floats your boat, ofcourse.

Also, could it be that he worked hard not to cum, because he thought you didn't want him to?

There's also a flipside to the same coin, having a huge stamina is also embarassing. Your partner is already done and you're trying to get done, but can't.

I agree... at first I couldn't last 30 seconds it was too powerful , then I try to stop it and think about something else when i'm near climax, since that moment the guy can suck me, use his hand, touch all my body and even fuck me I will not come.... it's not I'm not enjoying it, i'm just not relax enough to cum i guess . If he was nervous like me (nervous can be in a good way) this may explain. For me not being able to cum was an embarrassment but being in a relationship also mean communication. I'm sure you will find your way. Personnally I will not mind a guy to go fast as long we had time to feel each other.
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#7
Relax and enjoy.

As dfiant says "practice makes perfect" which is very true.

Some poor guys can't even cum at all!
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