You know what sucks?

[Romann]

You know what sucks? Being threatened into not breaking up. I want to breakup with my bf but he is making legit threats about exposing something about me at church that could ruin my life if I do. I want to just give up and cry at this point.

[ChadCoxRox]

I hate feeling trapped. Sorry to hear that someone could be so codependent. I suppose there's no talking it through at this point? I don't believe any good will come from remaining his hostage but we all have to do things in our own time.

[Woollyhats]

That sucks. Might be best to let it go though - release yourself and his power over you.

Right now your boy 'friend' is ruining your life. However, when you break up with him the worst he can do is change it.

You aren't a pawn and your place in the world is not under your boyfriends thumb.

I am sorry to hear about this... I hope you are brave and this ends well when everything is said and done..

[MisterTinkles]

Come clean and face the music. Then he has nothing on you.


I learned that strategy long ago....in a era far, far away.

My enemies learned long ago that they cannot threaten me with anything, because I diffuse every threat they make. Pisses them off to no end!

[Wardo94]

Well, at this point, the real question you should ask yourself is if either you want to stay with him in fear of him spilling everything or just breaking up and letting him do whatever he wants. Everyone has their secrets and that "dark" side to them. It all depends how bad it is to you and how much of your life it might affect you. The way this situation is going, it's either he has you pretty much hostage and you have an unhappy relationship or you let this secret that he wants to tell everybody, if he does, take into light. Easier said than done, I personally think you should eventually break up with him and show him that no matter what he does, he won't have any power over you. I can imagine if you just stay with him, little by little stuff can happen or you'll just snap and end up having it worse than you could have it. Either way, it's all up to you. I really hope this works out for you the best way possible. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Good luck!

[dfiant]

I endorse tinkles thoughts. I know it sounds crap and there is music to be faced...but come clean and your cun.....errr BF will have nothing on you.

Unless you would rather keep a secret and stay with a miserable blackmailing cunt that will have you over a barrel for everything and anything...heck, he may as well demand sex or reveal your secret, or demand all your money or he will tell everyone your secret.

[Romann]

I wouldnt care but this would affect every single aspect of my life heavily. Like I said, it would practically ruin it. I would rather snap and go apesh*t insane rather than letting that stuff slip. In my mind, I have valid reasons for wanting to leave him. He goes to boarding school most of the year for stupid reasons, and then he will be going to college right after. Basically, seeing eachother would be rare for years to come. That along with the fact im not patient at all, its easy to see why I want to leave him. Hes currently only here for the week, then hes going back up to NY, but considering his abilities, I would still be afraid to leave him. That plus hes just back down here for two MONTHS in summer.

[southbiochem]

It's complicated, but of what nature is this fact he knows about you?

I'm inclined to agree with Tinkles here.

It may be best to put it out there yourself and eliminate that leverage he has over you. And then cut him off completely, he's just toxic.

Now, given the last facts you gave, If it's really that difficult or problematic for you to speak, I would wait it out.

Given the distance situation I'm sure he'll be bored with it in no time.

How long till he goes to college? I bet once he meets new people we will let you go himself.

[Cuddly]

I can't imagine what dirty little secret he may (or may not) expose, if you were to leave him, that would make the break-up worse than staying with a guy who's threatening you in such a way.
I agree, that you should leave him. Firstly, how can you stay with a guy who acts such a way? Secondly, he may never expose your secret, even if you leave him. Or you may find that eventhough you stay with him, he still doesn't keep it shut. Thirdly, why does he care if you never see each other anyway? You're in an open relationship, so it's not like as if getting something on the side is new (right? open relationship in description) you'd just be officially no longer a couple.

[Romann]

Hes going to college in Florida. So he could visit every now and then. But even with that I just dont really feel anything with him anymore. He went from ignoring me to this which really pisses me off.