Cat Humor

[trialbyerror]

I honestly did not know TINKLES name was Ralph....

[MisterTinkles]

[MisterTinkles]

[partis]

[MisterTinkles]

Cat Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To NEVER tell a human that
The world is really ruled by CATS!

[MisterTinkles]

Why Cats are Better than Men

1. A cat always comes in SOBER after being out all night.

2. When a cat goes to the toilet she tries not to leave a trace.

3. You can put a bell around a cat's neck so you know exactly where she is.

4. If you stroke a cat she won't leap on you for sex.

5. You don't mind that much if a cat brings a bird home every night.

6. When a cat comes in at midnight it doesn't wake you up by smashing into the furniture.

7. Cats never pretend they know how to fix the video.

8. Cats don't care what size your boobs are.

9. Cats still love you even when your perm goes wrong.

10. Cats love rubbing up to your legs however much cellulite you have.

11. Cats can be neutered if they stray.

12. If a cat jumps into your lap, a little light petting will satisfy her.

13. It's okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend.

14. If you ask enough times, a cat may actually listen to you.

15. You never have to spend time with your cat's mother.

16. Better chance of training a cat.

17. Cats are cute.

18. A cat is never late for dinner.

19. Cats love to see you come home from shopping with lots of bags!

20. You'll never get a call from you cat's ex-wife.

21. A cat would never leave you for a younger women.

22. Cats treat your mom with respect.

23. Cats don't worry about hair loss.

24. I feels nice to stroke a cats soft, fluffy fur.

25. A cat's friend is less likely to be annoying.

26. Cats can't show love without meaning it.

27. To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs 40p

28. Cats actually think with their heads.

29. Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.

30. It is legal in all states to neuter a cat.

31. Cats comfort you when you are sick.

32. When a cat sleeps all day it's natural, not annoying.

[MisterTinkles]

Top 10 reasons why kittens are better than babies:

10. Veterinarians have evening hours.
9. Your kitten won't be able to disturb the whole movie theater with its crying. Heck, you don't even have to take the kitten with you, and if you don't, you don't even have to worry about whether or not the sitter is available tonight.
8. Your kitten won't grow out of those cute, but expensive clothes within three months.
7. Kittens look cute if they haven't had a bath this month.
6. You probably don't have to lie awake nights wondering how you are going to finance your kitten's college education.
5. No one will accuse you of being an unfit mother if you don't want to breast feed your kitten.
4. No one will accuse you of perversion or sexual abuse if you fondle your kitten.
3. Dan Quayle can't accuse you of destroying the moral fabric of the country if you aren't married to the father of your kitten. In fact, nobody will ever ask you if you know who the father is.
2. No one will question your abilities to function normally at your job when they hear you just got a kitten.

And the Number 1 reason why kittens are better than babies:
1. You only have to change a litter box once a day.

[MisterLove]

Kittens are manly.

[MisterTinkles]

[MisterTinkles]