Hello!

[bigfella]

Hi,

I'm a thirty year old Dutchman living and working in London, UK. I came here looking for some advice.

I doubt I'm truly gay, to be honest; when I encounter guys at work or in the streets I don't look at them the same way I do with women.

But.. I recently viewed this gay sex video and it really did arouse me. In fact, I've been viewing more of it until I went and started thinking about, well... Penises and whatnot.

And I've come to the point where.. I'd like to give it a try.

Well now. That's out of the way. But.. Here's the thing. I don't don't think I can get romantic feelings for guy. I can like a guy. I can be comfortable with one, and as it stands (no pun intended, but hilarious if I did) - I'd like to try some sexual things - but I can't see myself romantically with one. You know, buy flowers and candy and have dinner and all that. I just can't.

So with that on mind... I really don't feel like going into bars and literally flirting with guys. Especially since.. well, I might want to back out at some point.

I hope someone here is able to provide some sort of advice. Should I try this? If so; how to proceed?

Thanks in advance.

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and welcome
I think you are going to have to be more accepting of your self .

Getting turned on by gay porn is just a sexual reaction , it does not make you gay .

[findingmyway]

Welcome. You will be accepted here, even if you don't like penises.

[CellarDweller]

welcome to the forum

[swalter]

Welcome to the group! Figuring out your sexuality can be a complicated process, but don't let it overwhelm you. You don't need to worry about fitting into a label, or conforming to any preconceived notions. Give yourself the time and opportunity to explore your desires. It's your body, and you shouldn't feel bad or ashamed of your feelings. Best of luck to you!

[Chimpy]

Welcome fellow countryman!

I think you need to be honest and open with yourself. You might be putting up mental barriers because of issues you have with sexuality. There's immense pressure to be the same as everyone else as teenagers and young people. Do you think you've kind of forced yourself to like girls because that's expected? If you are attracted to guys but are burying it, it's only going to make things worse in the long term. Obviously each person is different but it's something to think hard about.

I've been in a position where I've struggled with my sexuality so if I can help or advise or just chat then I'm more than happy to do so.

[Lionheart08]

Hi & welcome to GS.

[Miles]

hey and welcome

[Evan88]

Welcome to GS

[Cooper]

Hello and welcome bigfella.

As rainbowmum said, just because you get turned on by gay porn, it doesn't mean you're gay. However, you have this desire to have a sexual experience with a man. I think you need to take some time alone and just think about your feelings and try to be honest with yourself. Think about all the possibilities. I think that when someone wants to have sex with a man it means they are attracted to men to some degree, and it's not just being curious. For me is completely the opposite. I like men, and I find girls attractive sometimes, but I don't really want to engage in sexual activities with them, although this confuses me a lot sometimes, because I get all this mixed feelings. But you seem to really want to have sex with a man, and that probably means something. But I'm really inexperienced and I don't know you so I can't jump into conclusions like that. Just think about everything before trying to be with a man and try to ignore the porn thing and imagine yourself with a man. Do you get turned on? Is it appealing to you?
I hope you can figure things out. And the best of luck for you.